Not participating in MM contest

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 3:43 pm

Am I the only one on this site who has ZERO patience/will/time/money to deal with themed MM? The kind of fancy stuff with exclusive silk bows, hand made packages from a fancy designer, everything color coordinated or home made gourmet items? Fancy gifts, Belgian handmade pralines and expensive liquor? Special Purim cards (preferably hand painted) with a personal Purim poem or the perfect handwritten bracha that you came up with yourself.

Every year I find it just soooo overrated.
My mind is on Pesach cleaning mode. Who are these women who has the time to participate in the yearly MM contest?

seeker

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 4:11 pm

I'm not up to Pesach cleaning, but I do keep my MM simple and I'm not the only one. Most people I know who do themes and stuff do it because it's fun for them. OK sometimes they get stressy about it to, but not because they have to - because they like coming up with cute stuff and sometimes that gets hectic as the time gets close.

The most fancy stress I've seen is when people get engaged and "have to" send something special to the future in-laws. Whoever started that business should issue a public apology and takanos should be put out against it. Maybe it should be in the category of engagement junk rather than Purim junk, though.

amother

Mustard

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 4:26 pm

I think it's really important to remember that mishloach manos as a mitzvah is very minimal, and that the rest is to create positive feelings amongst community/friends/family. There is NO NEED for themes or anything elaborate. The women who post about their themes and homemade goodies and marching costumes etc are doing it because they enjoy it (hopefully!!) And have the time and energy to take care of it. Obviously those are the people talking about it and posting for ideas etc. I enjoy all the cute and creative mishloach manos without feeling any pressure. Mine are always pretty simple, once or twice I did something a little more theme-y or homemade-y . I have been very sick and havent yet given a thought to mishloach manos , I will probably get some bags and put a few things in, snack bag and candy for the kids friends. I don't think anyone is upset or insulted that I don't do an elaborate theme and I make sure to compliment appropriately those who do because it is obviously something they put time and effort into.
No need to make it into a contest. Everyone should approach it the way that works for them.
May we all have a Purim sameach and our tefillos be answered!

ra_mom

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 4:54 pm

I didn't know there was a contest. :)And I don't do themes. Usually just a small box of choc and a tiny mini liquor which doesn't cost much and I wrap it nicely. I enjoy giving something that looks and tastes good but I don't enjoy stressing over things that take up my time and energy.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Feb 25 2018, 5:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

watergirl

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 4:56 pm

I have only heard about what you’re talking about on imamother and in mishpacha magazine. I have lived in 6 cities as a grown up and have literally never seen that before. Everyone I know MAYBE bakes something, puts a few laffy taffys, an orange, chips maybe, wafers.... and done. Paper bag with “happy purim” in sharpie.

SuperWify

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 5:01 pm

I’m not either participating.

Because there is NO contest!

I like to use my creative juices and therefore tie my MM into my theme.

Please, the last thing I would want is for you to be intimidated. That’s really not my point.

My point is just that I like these things and that’s why I’m into it.

You are not. No problem.

Zehava

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 5:17 pm

I like to match mm to my kids costumes but nothing elaborate or fancy. My mind is on a million times things and the last thing I need is to feel pressured about this. Many people I know, especially younger ones, have downscaled. The ones who give fancy ones usually have older kids than can help and who are embarrassed if mm is “nebby”.

Blessing1

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 5:25 pm

I don't do themes or go crazy either! I do try to bake something but I don't get to it every year. When I do bake it's simple, like cookies, muffins, or buns.
But for some women Purim is a time for them to show their creativity & it's a good outlet.

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 5:32 pm

I live in a stereotypically "in town" community and have literally never noticed any sort of competition or expectation. I get some themed ones. I get some non-themed but fancy ones. And I also get some neither themed nor fancy. And I get these all in roughly equal measure. The pressure is really non-existent, themes happen because some people like to do that sort of thing. As for myself, I do themes when I'm in the mood and don't do them when I'm not. And FYI, theme does not = expensive. One year, Purim fell out the same day as the Oscars and we did a movie theme- bag of popcorn plus can of soda in a gold paper bag. Another year we did a NYC theme which consisted of black and white cookies and apple juice boxes in a yellow paper bag. These ideas are not any more difficult or expensive than my non-theme go-to of hamentaschen plus mini grape juice.

PinkFridge

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 7:13 pm

I just heard this week's Shira Smiles, on how to bring simcha into Purim. She stressed it's not about "how can I feel happy?" but "how can I bring simcha into other people's lives?"
Giving makes us happy.
Unity in klal Yisrael is a good thing.
One thing I liked that I had just been thinking myself last night (baruch shekivanti!) is that we should take a moment before tossing/recycling, and appreciate the warmth and friendship that went into the MM we received.

Simple1

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 7:52 pm

I don't really remember personally getting themed MM. Maybe it's the younger crowd,or just a different crowd? When my DD worked as a preschool assistant, she did get quite a few nice themed ones.

Simple1

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 7:55 pm

Zehava wrote:

The ones who give fancy ones usually have older kids than can help and who are embarrassed if mm is “nebby”.

Around here the kids/teens make their own themed Mm to give their friends. And that's another can of worms...

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 11:32 pm

I do themes for my kids, to create a sense of family togetherness. We're all a team. It's a group project, and we're in it together. I want them to feel proud to be part of our family.

Want to add, my mm are not at all fancy and are pretty cheap and simple. I have no patience to spend hours putting it all together.

amother

Oak

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 11:38 pm

Okay I will break the 'picture perfect' trend in this thread.
I do find MM a bit of a pressure. I like to give something creative, but I don't really have the time for it.
Contrary to the nature of the responses here, I don't believe I'm an anomaly with this.