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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
dragoneye126
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 Mon, Apr 08 2019, 2:35 pm
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My father passed away a few years ago, and my family is still figuring out how to make holidays, especially pesach, without him. I know others have been in this situation before, so does anyone have any suggestions for how to make the seders meaningful and even happy again without our beloved parent?
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STMommy
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Mon, Apr 08 2019, 2:44 pm
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My family experienced two significant losses right around Pesach time - with one person even dying on erev Pesach itself. We share divrei Torah at the table that allow us to work into the discussion a remembrance/acknowledgment of our loved ones. We remind the children about he parts of the seder that they particularly enjoyed. We acknowledge that the seder doesn't feel the same without them. We find weaving these things into our seder to be comforting.
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amother
Lavender
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Mon, Apr 08 2019, 4:40 pm
I’m sorry for your loss but I don’t understand why you associate the meaningfulness of the Seder with the presence of your late dad. Was he the only factor that made Sedarim meaningful to you? Or do you mean that he used to do special things to make it more meaningful to you and now that nobody does those things they’ve lost their unique flavor?
We don’t make a “thing” of making events meaningful, but we remember and talk often about our dear departed OBM. Someone will be bound to say remember how Dad used to say this part really loud so “the Czar” should hear it? Remember how Uncle Sam used to sing this part just a little off key? And of course we try to rehash their Yiddish/Hebrew wordplay jokes, most of which we forgot but some still survive.
Talking affectionately about the dear departed keeps them “with us”.
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amother
Lavender
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Mon, Apr 08 2019, 5:41 pm
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And of course we tell the kids Grandma/Grandpa would have been so proud of you, would have loved hearing you sing, the way you read this reminds me of Auntie Sophie, that kind of thing. We don’t limit this to “meaningful” occasions though.
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amother
Mustard
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Mon, Apr 08 2019, 8:21 pm
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I have mixed feelings reading this thread. I also lost my father a couple years ago. But things were complicated. Memories of sedarim are painful. I can't relate to you, OP, but I kind of wish that I did. It is what it is, I guess.
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