Quality time with kids vs. quantity

amother

Sun, May 26 2019, 9:23 pm

I'm about to go back to work full time and my baby (1st) is 4 months old. How do I make sure that the little time I have with her is quality? All I can think of when I'm with her is that I barely have any time with her, and that I am missing out on her cute babyhood. How do I get myself to just enjoy her for those 1/2 hrs I'll have at the end of the day, as well as make sure she's developing nicely?

mom!

Sun, May 26 2019, 9:43 pm

The joy of the life of a working mother!
The only advice I can give you is involve yourself as much as possible in his/her life. Be in touch with the babysitter as much as you can. And try not to eat yourself up about it-chances are you are not working for your good health, but to support your child.

amother

Natural

Sun, May 26 2019, 10:02 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Hi!
I'm the op of this thread.

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....41467

I was in this situation one year ago.
The thread has many nasty/judgemental posts, but many really helpful posts as well.

I'll tell you, it can be done! But to be honest, you have to take one day at a time.
Treasure the moments, treasure the weekends.
The first few months especially were very difficult, I was running on no sleep with a commute, etc. It was intense. But I really try to make the time I spend with baby count.
My baby's one now, and it's definitely easier, even though I absolutely love the newborn stage.
I don't have time to post particulars right now, but read the thread.
Hatzlacha & don't let the naysayers get to you, us Mama's are just doing what we gotta do. I stopped reading the thread and didn't respond because the negative comments did not go well with my postpartum hormonal self and I ended up in tears, second guessing myself, etc. I do have to say that I'm a wonderful mom, thank GD, maybe one day Ill get the courage to respond over there. If your hormonal, maybe don't read it or read it with a grain of salt

amother

Natural

Sun, May 26 2019, 10:04 pm

Some advice that stood out for me - your be the one to bathe, feed the baby when your with her, etc even if someone else can help you and you just got home and your exhausted.. (at least make it a habit most the time). These moments are precious, caring for your baby. You be the one to do it. It's worth it

amother

Sun, May 26 2019, 10:37 pm

Thank you for the replies!
@amother green, I'm more sad for myself then feel guilty or care about what others think about what I'm doing. It's so hard to not obsess though Sad

@amother natural Thank you so much for your input and details! I read your thread and it made me even more depressed about it Sad

I don't have just one babysitter for my baby, she'll be watched by a different person depending on the day of the week. Now I feel badly about that too. And also that she won't bond with me, she won't develop confidence and trust...etc My hours will be similar to yours, I'll be out of the house from 7am-around 5/5:30. Please share how you got over not having much time to spend with your baby!

seeker

Mon, May 27 2019, 1:50 am

Quality time means no phone, no distractions, be mindful and try not to think about the work tasks you left undone or the chores that are pressuring you. Much much much easier said than done but I do believe that if your time with your child is non-distracted quality, then it will be worth more than five hours in which the mother is unable to be fully present.

amother

Peach

Mon, May 27 2019, 7:03 am

I went back to work when my oldest was 2 weeks old.
Oh boy did I get mouthfuls.
Ignore em. Your baby will be fine. All she needs is hugs and kisses, and you shouldn't feel guilty that it's not coming from you 24/7. My son and I are super duper close.
Just sing to her, talk to her, go on short walks, read books, sit out side with her. PUT THE PHONE AWAY. It's easier when she gets older and understands what's going on. But start now!