I prefer cash, no matter the amount!

amother

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:32 pm

These chanuka gift giving threads have got me thinking...

I've been cleaning up recently, and I have wedding presents IN BOXES that I've never done anything with, from over 10 years ago.

People gave me platters, vases, bowls, etc. Serving dishes that are not my taste, or that I have too many of, or no need for.

I would have much rather received a check for $18 than a serving platter of greater value.

It's such a shame that people would rather give a gift valued at $20 than a check for that amount because they're embarrassed to give "so little".

I feel like this is common with Chanuka, baby gifts (the 10 blankets thread), bar mitzvahs and weddings. But I'd much rather have cash, honestly, and I'd appreciate a $5-10 check/cash (and even write a thank-you note!).

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:43 pm

For Channuka, maybe cash is fine.

But there's something nice about an actual gift. We've been married for thirty years, and when we use some of our wedding gifts, we think fondly of the givers. (The few truly hideous presents went to a thrift shop.)

I don't understand why wedding registries aren't used in the right wing frum world. I love buying presents that I know will be appreciated. We had a registry when we got married, and that's still the norm in our community. It avoids waste and takes the burden of choosing off the giver.

amother

Natural

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:46 pm

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

Most yeshivish people I know have registries

amother

White

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I agree, but then on the other hand, $5-10 just gets placed into the wallet and you forget all about it, never mind treating yourself to something with it.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Dec 19 2019, 9:47 pm

I actually prefer the gifts. 20+ years later, I still know who gave me which platter and I know which baby outfit came from which friend.

Things that you don't like and don't use-consider donating to a gamach for kallahs. It is someone's taste and many people would be happy to have a few more things when setting up their home.

yo'ma

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 4:24 am

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

I wrote cash, but it depends on who it’s from. Like sapphire said, some gifts are sentimental, so I prefer the gift. I can think of two gifts in particular that aren’t worth much at all, but every time I use or see it, I think of that person.

banana123

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 4:45 am

I prefer a gift that's to my taste and something I need and will use to a cash equivalent.
The cash will almost certainly go to groceries or bills.
But then again a large sum of money is nice also, it'll go to our savings for a downpayment, or to a sink fund.
If you don't know my taste or what I need and still want to give me a gift please either include a gift receipt, or give a gift certificate (not to a supermarket), or just give cash.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 4:47 am

I can't remember who gave me cash for my wedding except for some large checks. We're opened the envelopes and the money got combined. I can remember who gave what gift.

Only a very large amount of cash would be appreciated.

amother

Periwinkle

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 5:05 am

The only reply I have to this thread is, I take whatever I'm given and say thank you.
If I can't use it or don't like it, I give it away or even *gasp* throw it out.
But I have the unpopular opinion of disliking registries (have never and would never do one for myself) because I think it's tacky to specify gifts and I don't care to know how much people spent on me (or for others to know how much I spent on them).

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 5:09 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

Buying from a registry is always optional - so it’s not tacky. Providing one is appreciated by most people who prefer to give a gift that is desired - and isn’t thrown away!!!

amother

Periwinkle

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 5:16 am

I have had numerous debates with friends who disagree with me for probably close to 20 years lol. So I am not going to change my mind on this. I strongly feel when people start listing gifts they want and expect people to buy it sets up a subconscious feel of entitlement (I've had friends complain to me that nobody bought certain items on their registry --the more expensive ones-- as though this was a valid complaint to have instead of just plain bratty). Tacky is the kindest word I have for it.
And don't get me started on people who purposefully register for certain items at expensive stores planning to return those items in advance to use the money to buy the item at a cheaper store and make a "profit"

cozyblanket

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 5:42 am

Ruchel wrote:

It's ridiculous. I'd rather a cute gift that costs you five than receiving a tiny off looking sum

I don't think $18 is tiny.

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Dec 20 2019, 6:04 am

I work in a public school and have been gifted enough non-kosher chocolate to open my own store.
Thank you to the families who gave me gift cards!