Am I too physically weak to be a parent?

amother

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 4:45 pm

I'm pregnant with my first and I'm so nervous.

Physically things tire me out really fast. It's not an illness or anything. I just seem to have very weak bones. (when someone taps me lightly my bones hurt)

Things that people seem to do no problem leave me drained.

I'm nervous that it'll be hard for me since parenting requires a lot of physical work - more household work, holding the baby, schlepping up carriages etc. And I just don't know if I'll manage.

My husband does help but I can't expect him to do it all.

Any other physically weak moms who figured it out?

tichellady

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 4:50 pm

I can relate. I wouldn’t call myself weak but I certainly am more delicate than other people. Pregnancy was very hard on my physically. Everything else has been fine, actually mostly wonderful . You figure out systems that work for you. I really don’t function without lots of sleep so I had very little expectations of myself until baby starting sleeping through the night. You will also change. I am stronger now than I was before having a baby. I have more endurance and can push myself way more than I expected.

Goldgold

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 4:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Most peoplr feel better after giving birth

amother

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 4:57 pm

Goldgold wrote:

Most peoplr feel better after giving birth

true, I wasn't referring to being weak now.
It's a thing I always have.

amother

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 5:00 pm

tichellady wrote:

thanks tichellady that's helpful and encouraging.
I hope I'll also find I have more strength.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 5:01 pm

Women have parented successfully with far greater handicaps.

Respect your limits, ask for (and accept) help graciously, and you will be fine!

Look for solutions: For example, I change diapers on my bed (with a pad) instead of on a changing table, which is harder to lift onto. Get a lightweight stroller. Consider a ramp so you don't have to drag the stroller up your stairs. A baby carrier (one that distributes weight evenly) may be easier for you than carrying around a carseat or even pushing a stroller.

You'll do great! Beshaa tova!

amother

Natural

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 5:22 pm

I'm also physically weaker though I have gotten stronger over the years with exercise. I need a lot of sleep in order to stay healthy and not get sick. Think like 8 hours a night. I still get that with my babies although its broken sleep. Pregnancy is very hard on my body. I walk around like a sick person for nine months. But I feel so much better after I give birth.

giselle

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 5:42 pm

Being there emotionally is much more important in the long run, but parenting can be physically draining. Don’t have more children than you can handle and be realistic about your limits. Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s ok if you make very simple suppers as long as there is healthy food available and the children feel loved and cared for. You can make your home a fun place to be without having to run around taking your kids on trips all the time. Order groceries and shop online when possible. Never feel less than for “taking it easy”. Remember, these are not the things that make someone a good parent.

Can you get cleaning help?

amother

Azure

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 8:14 pm

I am also not a strong person and don’t have a lot of stamina. I have one child and pregnant with my second bh. All I can say is that it’s so draining but you just push through because you have no choice. I am also realistic about what I can and cannot do and will not keep getting pregnant without chesbon.

It’s important to eat and sleep properly so make that a priority, as much as you can.

amother

Wheat

Mon, Jul 27 2020, 8:29 pm

Try to see what you can do about getting stronger. With my last I was very weak. She didn't sleep well and left me drained. I ended up sending her to a babysitter from 9 to 5 and playgroup from age 1 and a half. I sleep about 8 to 9 hours a night too. I have a cleaning lady. I am trying to set limits on How many toys can be out, encouraging kids to clean up bec I wasn't coping.