Skipping a grade | Imamother

amother

Ginger

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 6:32 pm

my son was rejected from a school becuase he was the youngest in the class and shorter
the new school thought kids will pick on him becuase he was shorter
all my kids were the youngest in the grade it worked out well most people wanted their kids to be the oldest and tallest boys

amother

Brown

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 6:44 pm

Are you talking about a little kid that you're thinking about sending early to start kindergarten or preschool? If so, I don't think it's a big risk to send early, especially if the teachers feel OK about it. You can always have him repeat a year of preschool or repeat kindergarten. I did this with my first child, and my second is going the same route, both beginning preschool a year ahead and then repeating kindergarten to get back in the correct class.

Also, are you talking about a kid who just barely missed the cutoff for the older grade by a few weeks, which I would barely count as "skipping"? Or are you thinking to skip a child who missed the cutoff by 11 months?

Also, just in general, being smart is not sufficient reason to skip one grade in my opinion. If your child is very bright, skipping a single grade will still leave your child way ahead of his peers academically, except now with potential added social obstacles.

Edit: I never skipped a grade in real school, but my Conservative Hebrew School program tried skipping me ahead when I was in fourth grade because I knew so much more from having been in day school for a few years as a child. I hated it. The material was not much more challenging or interesting, plus now I didn't have any friends.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 7:08 pm

The most important consideration in skipping a grade is not where the child is academically. What needs to be taken into account is where they are with maturity and emotional development.

A child could be a genius, and still just be a little kid. Being young and gifted is a blessing and a curse.

If your child is bored, you can ask the school for harder subjects, extra credit work, or look into enrichment programs.

cnc

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 8:40 pm

As someone that was in the education field for a number of years - I have to say that 85 percent of the time it was a disaster.

When it was done for academic reasons , it was usually a terrible decision socially and emotionally.
Occasionally it was done for social and emotional reasons , but the student was able to handle it academically. In those cases it usually worked out very nicely .

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 8:47 pm

I skipped, needed it socially and academically.

There are a mix of bright kids. Some are socially and emotionally immature and it would not be in their best interest to skip. But many very bright kids actually find friends better with older kids who are more on their wavelength and I found that to be true of my kids. Circumstances dictated that I skip one (super socially savvy) but executive functioning gaps definitely were noticed in middle school as most kids around 13 have an executive functioning "growth spurt" but he wasn't too to that at the same time. That was the only downside for that kid, and depending how flexible a school is can make the difference if it's a success or failure.

I also have a couple after the deadline that were put in the class above but didn't actually skip and they're doing phenomenally, but we have a while to go to see if it stays that way.

I'm really not for skipping purely for academics; it really didn't help me in that regard, other than letting me move on with life earlier. But if a kid is going to have a better school experience overall, including the social environment, studies do say there's a benefit in those cases.

But you won't really be able to predict the future when developmental "growth spurts" will inevitably happen and your child might end up struggling then.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 8:53 pm

I have a son who I "pushed ahead". His bday is 2 months after the cut-off. I did it primarily for social reasons, and in that regard I don't regret it at all. As an aside, he is the 3rd tallest kid in his class - and this is with him being the youngest - I didn't know it would be like that when he was younger though.
Academically, it could be he would have done better in the younger grade, but he is an average student and I'm ok with that.
From what I've heard from so many other parents, if it's just for academic reasons I definitely wouldn't recommend it. For social reasons, it is almost always the right decision

Frumme

Wed, Aug 12 2020, 9:09 pm

My sister "skipped" 2nd grade, partly because it was a small Jewish school and partly because she happens to be very bright. The school decided to combine the 2nd and 3rd grade classes and they ended up just doing 3rd grade for both groups. For her, it ended up working out academically and socially (she's always been a mature type). So it definitely can work, but you have to know your child well and be willing to switch them to the skipped grade if you notice they begin to lag in any aspect after a few weeks/months.

It was suggested to my parents that I be kept back a grade and not move onto first grade (repeat kindergarten) because I was small (always been and still am petite!). I'm very glad they didn't listen to the advice because it would have been a disaster for me socially and academically. Either way I would have been bullied for my size, held back a year or not, and academically I've always been bright so I would have probably made a lot of trouble not being challenged had I been kept back.

TwinsMommy

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 9:40 am

I am so conflicted. I've been thinking about it for years.

My son is entering 8th grade now. On the one hand....

his previous school strongly recommended it
his social skills are super poor no matter what grade he'd be in (autism)
his behaviors tend to improve when his brain is challenged

on the other hand....

he's a twin. His twin is DEFINITELY not going to skip a grade ever.
he switched from an academic school to a very much NOT academic school (got kicked out of public school for autism behaviors and is now in a special ed therapeutic school) and now even if he WERE to skip a grade what they give him to do would still be very behind his capabilities. There is no other school locally that can meet his behavior needs.

He is SOOOOOO far behind socially, emotionally, psychiatrically and SOOOOO far ahead academically that I should really just pull him and homeschool but I feel like that would be giving up on the social skills piece for which he needs many hours daily of waiting, group work, peer conversation, etc. Plus I need a break from the autism behaviors---- he's extremely aggressive with the biting and hitting and kicking.

For now we're not skipping but he only has a few years of school left either way I suppose---- high school will be over by the time I blink. I'm just so unhappy with the way his school doesn't address his academic needs at all. They care deeply about his emotional health and his social skills but straight A's every quarter with no effort at all don't bother them in the least.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 10:43 am

For older kids, I have seen it work best when the child is switching schools or moving. Assuming they are ready socially, they are leaving their friends anyway and the kids in the older class don't see them as younger.

Aside from the essential social piece, be very careful about study skills and executive functioning. Often, very bright kids don't have a knack for these, and the grade they skipped may have taught them and they miss it.

amother

Sun, Aug 16 2020, 7:49 am

Thanks for the all the replies, very interesting to read the perspectives here.

My DD missed the cut off by 3.5 months and would be skipping the third grade.

DD has never been challenged academically. All kids in the class are given the same work and she always finishes first and is left to entertain herself while the others finish.

She had a horrible start to the year last year (before getting locked down!) and was being excluded by the other girls in her class (I made a thread about it here.) Her teachers said that socially and emotionally she is like a girl 2 years older than her actual age and doesn't really fit in with the other girls in her class who are also younger than her.

I don't feel she anything to lose socially by leaving her current class, which of course does not mean that there won't be problems in the new class, although I already know some of the families and they're not cliquey and exclusive like the ones from the current class.

I don't think height etc is important in this, but as it happens she is very tall for her age and is likely to remain so as both her father and I are tall.

My main conern is that she will obviously miss out on a year of schooling.

amother

Mint

Sun, Aug 16 2020, 8:05 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Despite all the responses above, it seems like she would really benefit from skipping!
This year is the best year to do it since most kids didn't go to school since march!
Socially and emotionally, she's above her grade!
Academically as well.
All the kids missed almost a year. She would have to catch up so little!
I really don't see the cons of putting her in grade above!
(Btw my daughter skipped a grade and it turned out great!)

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Aug 16 2020, 9:32 am

I would pursue it... Get meeting set up with principal, any testing desired, etc and then see how it pans out.

Do keep in mind 4th grade is a little more work pressure than third grade but she can probably handle it... She might need to be taught things like shmoneh esrei or whatever to catch up but easily doable.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Aug 16 2020, 10:15 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I have a friend that skipped 3rd grade and to this day she doesn't know the times tables by heart, so my advice would be to get a tutor to cover the major things they learmed in 3rd grade. Other than that it seems like she is a prime candidate for skipping.