Sleepovers | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:25 pm

Do you guys allow sleepovers? My daughter is 10 and I'm ok with it, but my husband is so against it. Trying to figure out what other families do.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:27 pm

We only allow sleepovers at close relatives or friends we know really well that do not have older boys at home.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:31 pm

Yes, we allow sleep overs. And have allowed since the age of 6, at our home and at friends homes.

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:32 pm

Yeah since my kids were around 8/9 we do like to know the family though at least a little bit and get an idea of who they are our home always anyone

Chayalle

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:36 pm

As long as I know and trust the people she's going to, and I feel that she's ready.

I always told my girls that (excepting Shabbos of course) if they go on a sleepover and feel the need to call me, they can do so at any hour of the night and I will come and get them.

This rarely panned out, but I did get DD at 4 am at a daycamp overnight, when she just had enough and wanted her own bed desperately.

amother

Milk

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 3:23 pm

We do sleepovers, but not if they have older boys home. Living in a development means we know all the neighbors so we don't have that problem. Additionally, you can always come home if it's in your neighborhood.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 5:48 pm

Yes, starting around age 6. In both directions: our kids to their friends, their friends to us.

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 5:53 pm

My parents rarely allowed it. I don't love it for my kids either, but I'll allow it upon occasion, preferably with cousins.

amother

Lily

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 5:55 pm

Yes if I know the family. Also I make sure to review the topic of bodies and not allowing touching by anyone and all that each time.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 6:33 pm

No, I dislike sleepovers very much. I don’t understand why my child has to stay awake most of the night and barely function the next day. For what?? I encourage friendships and get togethers but sleeping in each other’s homes is completely not necessary.
Obviously if someone has an emergency that’s a different situation.

amother

Violet

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 6:37 pm

I dislike sleepovers.
I had a bad experience as a kid.
Besides I’ve been told by ppl in chinuch not to.
We do with family. And sometimes with a neighbor we are close to. But I don’t like it.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:08 pm

I asked my rabbi today. He said it's absolutely not ok if the girls older brothers or father is home. I'm not sure I can accept this answer. I had sleepovers all the time when I was little. I feel like I'm depriving my daughter .

amother

Aqua

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:12 pm

Ouch. That’s hard. But if your husband doesn’t want it and your rabbi says not to, maybe it’s a sign it’s not the right thing to do… see if you can make your husband and your Creator happy by following your Rav and listening to your husband. It’s hard, but giving in is part of what builds relationships.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 9:39 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

A lot of my very best childhood memories are of sleepovers with friends, and sleepover parties. And no, we never did anything wrong.

lk1234

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 9:42 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Really like this Chayalle - thank you!
I am not a fan of sleepovers but I'd much prefer the sleepover in my house so that I know what is going on.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, Jul 27 2021, 9:45 pm

My girls school has a no sleepovers rule so my girls basically end up only sleeping away from home when we're away & it's usually at relatives. I don't see reason for girls to have sleepovers just because.

amother

Wed, Jul 28 2021, 1:36 am

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Can you host?

My rabbi said I should only host girls if my husband isn't home. He also said sleepover for boys is no problem. I really don't think I can follow this. I feel like it's so extreme.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 28 2021, 2:09 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why? Because of yichud?
If not then just realize that not all males are bad guys and some bad people are female.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 28 2021, 2:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My rabbi said I should only host girls if my husband isn't home. He also said sleepover for boys is no problem. I really don't think I can follow this. I feel like it's so extreme.

This is terrible, to have different levels of what is allowed for boys and girls, in the same family. I can see this ending really really badly Sad