I smacked him.... | Imamother

amother

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:30 pm

I lost it I smacked my 12 year old ds. It’s happened before but infrequently but this time he really pushed me too far. He’s suuuch difficult child. I feel terrible what should I do should I apologize or just let it go.

amother

Clematis

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:32 pm

Apologize

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

happy chick

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:47 pm

Explain to him why it happened, and let him know you still love him. But don't put yourself in the wrong. He can feel hurt (emotionally) and you don't want him thinking you did it cuz you hate him.

Happens to the best if us. Don't beat yourself up over it. Learn from it and move on.

Zehava

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:50 pm

Only apologize if you mean it sincerely. Because it seems in some way you’re blaming him for your actions. He will know if you are.

Just One

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:53 pm

Definitely apologize. Just make sure to take total responsibility for your mistake and don't blame it on his behavior

amother

Clematis

Tue, Aug 10 2021, 11:59 pm

Zehava wrote:

Only apologize if you mean it sincerely. Because it seems in some way you’re blaming him for your actions. He will know if you are.

She should apologize so that it stops her from doing it in the future.
(Definitely true about the blame part.)

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 8:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cinnamon

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 12:40 am

Apologize to him.

This is how you apologize correctly: "I'm sorry I smacked you on the ______ yesterday. I shouldn't have done it."

No additions about what made you lose it - that's your business, not his.

BTW, even for parents who do spank (and we do sometimes), 12 is too old to spank.

notshanarishona

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 2:10 am

You know you were wrong which is step one. Step two is to make sure it won’t happen again.
It’s probably useless to apologize if you will do it again next time you get mad.

amother

Cinnamon

Wed, Aug 11 2021, 2:34 am

notshanarishona wrote:

You know you were wrong which is step one. Step two is to make sure it won’t happen again.
It’s probably useless to apologize if you will do it again next time you get mad.

It's not useless because it sets an example to apologize when you are wrong and tells your child that you recognize that you were wrong.