Are you losing your looks?

amother

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 12:45 pm

If you’re 40’s, 50’s, etc and notice your looks fading, and you always used to put emphasis on your beauty, ie it gave you self esteem etc, how do you feel? I’m so upset over it.

Really not looking for replies saying how looks don’t matter and only inner beauty is important. I know all that but still my looks were always a big part of my identity, right or wrong, plus it got me a lot of attention and it’s very hard now to see the changes from age.

Please only respond if you identify or have helpful advice. Thank you

amother

Red

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 12:53 pm

It's so upsetting to me. All of the wrinkles. And I know it's just going to be getting worse. I wasted the prime of my life (as far as looks go) away. I never dressed nice and hardly ever put on my sheitel and now I regret not trying to look nicer while I was prettier.

amother

Bluebell

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 1:20 pm

You're asking for replies from imas whose looks were very important to them, whereas I'm not losing my looks because I never had them in the first place. But it was a rude shock to notice that my eyelashes were skimpy, faded and too short to curl, when they were always dark, long and curly. Now they're almost invisible. And my decolletage, which was a pity to keep covered because, unlike my face, it was smooth and creamy, is suddenly speckled and tagged and altogether no hardship to keep under wraps.

Well, I never hung my self-esteem on my eyelashes or my decolletage, so my attitude is "too bad, easy come, easy go." I'm not going into mourning over every wrinkle, skin tag, and lost eyelash. B"H I'm married, employed and have been living in the same place for many years. I'm not competing with anyone for a husband, a job, or friends, so what do my looks matter? I look like what I am, a very average, unpretentious, not-getting-any-younger woman who now hears "At your age you can't expect_______ " instead of "You can't possibly be old enough to remember ________!"

I can see how, if your self-esteem hinged on your youthful good looks, the inevitable fading would be devastating. That's why I'm glad I was at most at the low end of average, never beautiful. Of course I'm not pleased to see the ravages of time, but they're not destroying my life.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 1:48 pm

I’m 46 and I’m fighting this age thing. Looks are important whether people admit it or not. Any extra money or gifts I use for anti aging…
Botox , prp, eyelash extensions. They all make a difference. It’s much easier to slow aging than reverse ….

amother

Crocus

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 1:56 pm

I feel bad for those ppl whose whole life is looks... (ex; Julia Haart, Perl Reich etc)...
I want to look good but I also know that thats not the only thing I'm appreciated and loved for...
I can't imagine how miserable these women will be in their old age... in the end it catches up with everyone

amother

Sapphire

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:20 pm

amother [ Mayflower ] wrote:

What can I ask is prp? And how often do you put in the eyelash extensions? Is that eyelash tinting that I see advertised? Thanks in advance

amother

Amber

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:23 pm

I get you, OP. I’m in the same boat and trying to find that balance between making peace with the aging and the knowledge that it’ll only get worse. I want to be satisfied with my looks, and when I finally make peace with a deterioration, I notice a new one. So I can’t really help you. Except to quote my husband who said that every age has its beauty and stop worrying about not looking like 25. But it hurts a lot. Especially since I used to get so many compliments!

Chayalle

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:26 pm

I'm 45 and I'm starting to notice that some of my friends are getting grey. So far my hair is still brown and my skin is pretty smooth, but I'm figuring my turn will come. DH has just started to get some flecks of grey in his black head of hair (no wrinkles yet!)....and I'm not much younger than he is....

I do take care of myself (face creams, etc...) but I'm not going to obsess about it.

amother

DarkYellow

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:38 pm

Aging is scary. I've never prided myself on my looks. I prided myself on my brain, and that's fading too.
I'll always love learning and knowledge, but my memory and learning speed have taken a distinct turn for the worse.

amother

DarkKhaki

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:43 pm

It’s funny I never noticed my looks or cared. Never wear makeup.
I’m Turning 40 this and started dying my hair noticing how my face is changing.
I’m shocked at how much I care.

I doubt I’ll do anything to change it. I believe in aging naturally.
The problem is when so many ppl don’t it sticks out more.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 2:44 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

What can I ask is prp? And how often do you put in the eyelash extensions? Is that eyelash tinting that I see advertised? Thanks in advance

Extensions are monthly. Expensive and time consuming. I go thru my phases where I do it.
Google PRP- it’s too complicated to explain.

amother

Glitter

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 3:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm upset too (almost 50 here), but I keep telling myself that at least I had the good sense to get married while I was young, thin and pretty Smile

. And divorce is pretty expensive so I guess DH is stuck.

I also try keeping in mind that we all have two choices.... either we get older, or we don't Sad

.

With all that, it bothers me a ton and I sort of feel like my life is over, because our beauty is so essential as to who we are, as women. It's really a horrible feeling.

It would take too much time and money to reverse the clock (exercise, makeup, etc etc) and I don't have either of those. Life is not fair to us women.

amother

Black

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 3:51 pm

amother [ Crocus ] wrote:

Re the bolded- not necessarily. I work in a subacute rehab/nursing home and literally am surrounded by old people all day. You'd be surprised how there are some women who in numbers are old but who truly look beautiful. And I dont mean a "beauty that comes from within" beauty. I mean they can be 95 years old but have firmer skin and brighter eyes than some of our 60 year olds. Like actually good looking.

My coworkers and I have started asking the good looking ones their secret, when we have care meetings. It started as a joke, like "tell me your secret!"but now we sincerely ask, because they often have answers!

A handful will answer that its just genetic, their mothers also had great skin, whatever...but most of them say they actually took care of their skin. Ive heard a few old ladies say they used Ponds cold cream every night, others used some kind of oil, others said they had this moisturizer or that, but the bottom line is the overall answer is usually that they took care of themselves

amother

Violet

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 4:02 pm

I'm 48 and my jawline is not the same.
I have been blessed genetics wise with good skin. I still look pretty young. I try and eat well and I exercise but don't use any creams etc. I tell my daughters when they complain that people think they are younger than they are (my 23 year old was mistaken for a 16 year old etc) that I have often been mistaken for someone younger. When I was 20 I was not thrilled to look young compared to my more sophisticated looking friends, but now I appreciate it.

I do work hard to keep my weight in check. For me to stop caring about it would be letting myself go.
No one else cares about that. I do it for me.

amother

Aster

Fri, Dec 24 2021, 4:56 pm

amother [ Glitter ] wrote:

I'm upset too (almost 50 here), but I keep telling myself that at least I had the good sense to get married while I was young, thin and pretty Smile

. And divorce is pretty expensive so I guess DH is stuck.

I also try keeping in mind that we all have two choices.... either we get older, or we don't Sad

Don’t men age too?