S/o hfa - what are the obvious and not so obvious

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:07 pm

symptoms in children/people with high functioning autism?

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:18 pm

My (6 yo) child with HFA appears typical and many people don't realize that he's different. If you interact with him in a social setting you may realize. Also if he has a meltdown, which is not often in public. Most of my neighbors don't even realize that he has ASD. They may think he's a quiet kid or slightly immature.

amother

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:22 pm

amother Strawberry wrote:

what are the symptoms? how is he diff?how do you know he is autistic?

amother

Melon

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:23 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8mhr1PcZ4Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?.....;t=5s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot46-YGUF4Y

here are some channels to look at

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:25 pm

A lot of times its the rigidity- having a hard time with a change of routine
Not picking up on social cues- these are the kids who will talk your ear off about animals or airplanes without stopping to gauge if youre interested, or pause to let you respond

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:26 pm

Getting easily overwhelmed from too much going on around them
Frequent sensory issues or overstimulation

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:26 pm

Not being able to communicate with you when they have a problem

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 8:27 pm

Black and white thinking is also a big one- everything is good or bad, there's no in between. Trouble with nuanced thinking

amother

Anemone

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 9:52 pm

Talking on a montone.

amother

NeonPurple

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 10:11 pm

Difficulty making friends.. Exceptionally high IQ.

imasinger

Wed, Sep 28 2022, 10:18 pm

Very uneven intellectual profile -- off the charts high in some areas, and well below average in others.

Black and white thinking

Quirks and special interests

Failure to pick up on social cues, especially pretty obvious ones

Anxiety in general, and specifically, social anxiety

High sensitivity to sensory issues, also to perceived slights

Difficulty recovering equilibrium after something upsetting - meltdowns

Discomfort with eye contact

Tendency to talk more than listen or ask social questions of others

amother

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 5:41 am

amother Brunette wrote:

Black and white thinking is also a big one- everything is good or bad, there's no in between. Trouble with nuanced thinking

what is nuanced thinking?

LovesHashem

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 5:59 am

amother Brunette wrote:

Girls pick up a lot more though. They will often go on about something but it's age and gender appropriate. Like dolls, makeup, fashion, etc.

LovesHashem

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:00 am

amother Brunette wrote:

Not being able to communicate with you when they have a problem

Also not true for all autistics. Many can do this.

All autistics I know do not talk in a monotone and make eye contact.

OP all autistics are different. Symtomps have a range and may vary from person to person.

I'd say the biggest ones are struggling with socializing, differently thinking (noticing things others don't, having questions others don't) and sensory issues.

amother

Maroon

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:40 am

Social awkwardness is across the board, often eye contact issues. Everything else varies. My son has a few things he is rigid on but he is usually reasonable. My daughter will tantrum and then maybe do what's needed. Another factor is what other challenges they have. Adhd, odd, sensory issues, anxiety. And once they get to a certain age, low self esteem.

LovesHashem

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 6:43 am

Here's the unofficial checklist that's really good for older girls, teens, and adult women.

http://www.myspectrumsuite.com.....list/

Women and men present very differently.

Like I said before everyone is different. So no one really has everything on this list. But if most or a lot resonates with you or someone that probably means something.

amother

Strawberry

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 7:15 am

amother OP wrote:

what are the symptoms? how is he diff?how do you know he is autistic?

Play skills and social skills below age level, difficulty understanding things in different contexts, easily overwhelmed /trouble regulating emotions in certain situations, black and white thinking, extremely literal, specific obsessions, etc.

amother

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 7:49 am

amother Strawberry wrote:

can you give me examples of taking things extremely literal?
examples of difficulty understanding things in diff context?

amother

Oldlace

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 8:27 am

amother OP wrote:

can you give me examples of taking things extremely literal?
examples of difficulty understanding things in diff context?

Both of these could come out in a situation that requires following a general rule, it the situation has changed.

For example, HFA-DC13 is used to playing 2 hours on the computer per day. But today we went on a family trip and got home close to bedtime, and I tell everyone to eat a snack and get ready to sleep. Meltdown. Because the “rule” is 2 hours of computer time! Mom always took this to mean, “you get maximum 2 hours per day, and sometimes it will be less if you fill your time with other things”, where DC’s black and white understanding is “I will always get 2 hours on the computer, no matter what.”

Or HFA-DC wants to snuggle with a toddler sibling, but sibling doesn’t want to and wriggles away, crying. I might expect that level of self-absorbed “but I just wanted to cuddle, I did nothing wrong!” from a 5 year old, but not a 13 year old. This child is developmentally behind their peers in understanding the perspective of other people - the sibling is visibly upset, but HFA-DC can only focus on their own desire to cuddle and that they even did it the “right way” by making sure to share the blanket evenly.

My child is a rules lawyer who will argue endlessly over the precise wording of a rule to their advantage, even if the “spirit of the law” seems obvious. My child got upset about losing points on a vocabulary test for spelling/punctuation/capitalization errors, because “it’s a vocabulary test, not a grammar test”. To my child, as long as the vocabulary words are used correctly, why should anything else matter? Everything is isolated into separate boxes.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Sep 29 2022, 8:53 am; edited 2 times in total

amother

Thu, Sep 29 2022, 8:30 am

bigsis144 wrote:

thanks for examples

the first example my teenager who is not hfa, just a entitled brat would also fight and argue and drive me crazy to get her way with computer, there must be a diff between the two but I dont know how to diffrentiate?

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