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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
ruchelbuckle
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 Tue, Feb 21 2023, 7:29 am
| sequoia wrote: | So are all MO Jews Harries by definition?
What about all Sepharadim? |
no, not at all. Because they don't try to/have any interest in being part of the yeshivish culture.
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Marathon
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 7:39 am
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I've heard as there being the Harry's and the Heimy's (Heimish crowd type)
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BaltoMom65
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 8:06 am
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This frum culture is not great. Don't judge Judaism by Jews
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zaq
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 8:25 am
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Highstrung, any time I've heard the word it's been said with a sneer.
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sandyish
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 8:32 am
| Highstrung wrote: | My DS says “Never judge a Harry until you walk in his Shabbos sneakers”
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In my opinion this is a perfect description of a Harry. And no, I don’t think it’s necessarily a slur or a negative term. It’s just a descriptor.
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hotpretzel
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 9:08 am
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Dont say its not used in a derogatory way, It always is
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iyar
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 9:45 am
| sequoia wrote: | So are all MO Jews Harries by definition?
What about all Sepharadim? |
MO Jews and Sephardim are so not Harries. A couple of imas gave pretty good explanations but I don’t want to elaborate because people are getting offended.
MO Jews and Sephardim, comfortable in their skin, behaving and speaking like who they are, are as far from a Harry as a Martian is from a Galicianer.
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zaq
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 9:57 am
| rachelbg wrote: | So basically name calling to put one’s self up on a ‘frum’ pedestal…
I’m happier to be a “Harry” than someone who calls other Yidden names.
One of the reasons we are proud to be bnei Torah who “don’t care to abide by nuances of Yeshivish culture.” | 
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zaq
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 10:12 am
| Marathon wrote: | | I've heard as there being the Harry's and the Heimy's (Heimish crowd type) |
Please don't call Heimish people Heimies. Hymie is a slur made infamous by Jesse Jackson yemach shmo, referring to NYC as Hymietown because of its large Jewish population. It comes from a stereotype from the early 20th century, when Jewish immigrants were encouraged to adopt secular given names like Hyman as well as Seymour, Max, Harvey, Marvin, Harold, Harry and the like.
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PinkFridge
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 10:50 am
| tigerwife wrote: | I thought a Harry is someone who is American for several generations, as opposed to Americans whose parents/ grandparents are European.
I don’t think it means nerdy at all. |
Harrys might be umpteen generation American, but not all umpteen generation Americans are Harrys. (Says a possible Harriet.)
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PinkFridge
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 10:52 am
| Highstrung wrote: | My DS says “Never judge a Harry until you walk in his Shabbos sneakers”
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😂
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Miranda Wright
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 12:30 pm
A Harry is unpretentious, earnest, and genuine. He uses minimal Hebrew, Aramaic, and Yiddish in his speech, either out of habit or ignorance. May rely on Artscroll translations. You get the impression that he sincerely believes everything he says.
I aspire to be a Harry, but I think it's too late.
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pinkpeonies
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:00 pm
My father is a real BT Harry who happens to be a tremendous talmid chacham (not an artscroll learner)
My mother comes from a real Hungarian stock
Yup, I’m a real mix!
I’m proud of who my father is, but I won’t say that the “Harry” part of him hasn’t been a little difficult for me over the years
People would never know that’s my background because I talk the right way, dress the right way, come from a comfortable home, etc, so people have said things to me about Harry’s and Baalei teshuva etc. I laugh along with them because the truth is that I completely get it, I’m personally not the slightest bit harryish. But I’m not gonna say it doesn’t hurt a tiny bit (although I have a super thick wall up, things don’t usually get to me)
From my experiences, I would say that it definitely is an insult
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sequoia
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:03 pm
| pinkpeonies wrote: | My father is a real BT Harry who happens to be a tremendous talmid chacham (not an artscroll learner)
My mother comes from a real Hungarian stock
Yup, I’m a real mix!
I’m proud of who my father is, but I won’t say that the “Harry” part of him hasn’t been a little difficult for me over the years
People would never know that’s my background because I talk the right way, dress the right way, come from a comfortable home, etc, so people have said things to me about Harry’s and Baalei teshuva etc. I laugh along with them because the truth is that I completely get it, I’m personally not the slightest bit harryish. But I’m not gonna say it doesn’t hurt a tiny bit (although I have a super thick wall up, things don’t usually get to me)
From my experiences, I would say that it definitely is an insult |
You laugh along when they make fun of BTs?
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Highstrung
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:16 pm
| pinkpeonies wrote: | My father is a real BT Harry who happens to be a tremendous talmid chacham (not an artscroll learner)
My mother comes from a real Hungarian stock
Yup, I’m a real mix!
I’m proud of who my father is, but I won’t say that the “Harry” part of him hasn’t been a little difficult for me over the years
People would never know that’s my background because I talk the right way, dress the right way, come from a comfortable home, etc, so people have said things to me about Harry’s and Baalei teshuva etc. I laugh along with them because the truth is that I completely get it, I’m personally not the slightest bit harryish. But I’m not gonna say it doesn’t hurt a tiny bit (although I have a super thick wall up, things don’t usually get to me)
From my experiences, I would say that it definitely is an insult |
I think it depends on the context : my mother is a BT and she cracks up laughing when my kids say “It’s so Harryish to eat potatoe latkes with sour cream and apple sauce”. That doesn’t mean they are looking down at her or at people that like to eat latkes with sour cream and applesauce . They just find it to be a funny mix. My DH is not American and also finds this combo of food to be strange and can’t imagine how someone would like it. They are used to growing up amongst heimish people , around lots of people with European grandparents and they are not used to the American Jews that have been here for generations. It’s like when someone shows up in a jalopy and they refer to it as a yeshivishe car. It’s not being deragatory about yeshivish people . It’s describing a type.
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pinkpeonies
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:16 pm
| sequoia wrote: | | You laugh along when they make fun of BTs? |
Reread what I wrote. I never said make fun
And I’ll leave what I said at that
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BrisketBoss
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:40 pm
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Ooc what is the heimish way to eat latkes?
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mommyisbest
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:47 pm
If you have to ask.... its you 
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Highstrung
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:48 pm
| BrisketBoss wrote: | | Ooc what is the heimish way to eat latkes? |
Plain latkes 😊. The latkes are so good , no need to “ruin” it with sour cream and apple sauce .
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pinkpeonies
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Tue, Feb 21 2023, 1:54 pm
| Highstrung wrote: | | Plain latkes 😊. The latkes are so good , no need to “ruin” it with sour cream and apple sauce . |
Or ketchup! Funny you say that, cuz my Harry father eats latkes with applesauce, my Hungarian mother eats them plain, and my very heimish husband eats with ketchup
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