Finished the Seder 11:00

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:59 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I wish my husband could figure out how to make the seider faster, I always end up going through it on my own and getting to bed . Most people aren’t at their peak of energy at 10 pm after a whole day/ week of cleaning and cooking.

Same. DH likes long shleppy meals (regular Shabbos/YT) and enjoys long discussions in magid (before the meal is anywhere close to starting). We have a 1 year old and I’m exhausted from making Pesach. Past about 10 pm I honestly don’t care which peirush says what on whatever pasuk and what it means. I want to sleep.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:07 pm

amother Denim wrote:

For those who finish early, I'm really curious.
Do you read all the words?
Do you translate?
Do you sing the singing parts?
Does everyone say mah Nishtana together? (By us, each kid says it separately)?
How does the logistics of filling up all the Kosos, handing out proper amounts of matza, etc work out.

Because we have 5 kids from 5-17. We say all the words and translate each paragraph. Each of my kids was allowed to say 2 or 3 divrei Torah less than a minute apiece.
And both nights, we started at 9, finished maggid at 11:45, ate the afikomen by 1(chatzos) and finished the Seder by 2:15. (We sing the whole Hallel).

I'm not judging at all. I'm really curious how it can even work because we really didn't waste time and we kept on moving.

I have three children bh. We finished at 11:05 one night and 11:30 the next. The little one said mah nishtana and each Siman in Yiddish before we started it. Yes we said every word nice and slowly and clearly . We didn’t translate any of it it. Do people do that ? 🤷‍♀️ We sang vehi sheamda in two separate tunes and many other songs as well. Maybe a dvar Torah or two. We didn’t rush at all. How long can it take already??

amother

Topaz

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:09 pm

If it makes anyone feel better, I used a Rav Chaim haggadah and it said magid took. It more than half an hour by him. So don’t worry about how long your Seder took!

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:12 pm

I think many people who end super late have a lot of wasted time. If you are a large crowd everything takes long....getting started, pouring wine, washing, the meal etc.... we started the minute dh came home from shul...about 845...everything was prepared. We don't make a big ceremony of pouring the wine and dividing the marror and matzoh. We barely eat a meal because nobody is hungry. So we finish really early. But we have plenty of time still to say the hagaddah clearly, divrei torah and sing songs. When the seder is over whoever wants (usually dh) can stay up as late as they want learning about yitziyas mitzrayim...the mitzvah doesn't end when the official seder is over.

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:23 pm

We also start the minute dh comes home, which was after 9:30.
Everything is prepped on the table until Maggid. Magid started at 10 until 11:45. Very kid friendly and enjoyable. But we only finished eating afikomen at chatzos…it just takes time to go through everything in a pleasant manner for us.
The rest, singing mainly took up until 2ish but some people checked out beforehand….

I know I’m tired the next day, but I truly wouldn’t want a Seder that takes 2 hours.

Way too much work is put in in schools and yeshivah and at home to rush through this once a year thing!

Ruchi

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:34 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

Our regular shabbos and yom tov seudahs take 2 hours. At the seder we have plenty Torahs being said, plus the Hagada to say, plus plus everything else. So definitely doesn't finish before 2am.

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:35 pm

We finished at 3 am. But we take a digestion break after tzafun 😂

pause

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:59 pm

We don't shlep at all, but we finished at 1 am. We started as soon as DH came home, close to 9 pm. He set up his ka'arah. Every child asks ma nishtana. Every kid wanted to say a dvar torah or two. Things like karpas, marror, and korech, DH gives out everyone's portion, and then we all make the bracha together. We fully clear the table before shulchan orech, wipe the matza off, get the bechers off, set the table with cutlery and drinking glasses. Shulchan orech is a four course meal which took about an hour (no guests). We bentch birchas hamazon together. Hallel takes time, just saying everything. Nirtza, we sing all the piyutim.

amother

Quince

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:06 am

amother Denim wrote:

Yes we do.
I have 5 kids but youngest is little and not participating in the Seder.
We prepare the matzah and mirror and fill up the cups very quickly.
Shulchan orech is done fast because no one has much of an appetite.
We did not sing the whole hallel.
And while we sang, we did not schlep it out. For example we didn’t do the day day day after each line in dayeinu.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:12 am

We do not have the children say any divrei Torah at the Seder. My husband engages them in some questions, but we move the Seder along very smoothly. They can share divrei Torah at the YT meals. We do not rush through the Seder, but we keep it moving. We often have people at the Seder who are not familiar with Hebrew and we don’t want them to leave in the middle, so we keep moving.
The transitions do take time though. One thing that helps us is multiple washing areas. We do have a lot of washing sinks and that definitely makes a difference in how quickly it moves.
Also, We measure out the Matzah before and have everything ready before.
The few minutes here and there can add up to an hour of saved time.

TwinsMommy

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:50 am

I look forward all year to VERY LONG Seders with my hubby saying EVERY Hebrew word out loud and bringing in this Rabbi's drash and that Rabbi's story, etc etc etc. I'm a night person anyway though and it's something for which we PLAN and we both make sure to nap erev Pesach. To each their own! I even relax for a half hour AFTER seder--- got to bed between 2 and 3 both nights.

essie14

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 1:06 am

We had 20 people and we finished before 11. We usually have less people and finish at 1030.

I do everything before candle lighting. We are literally ready to pour wine the second DH comes home from shul.

Crookshanks

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 1:46 am

essie14 wrote:

Which makes a difference for the second night of YT, which isn't an issue for you.

amother

Lotus

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 2:20 am

essie14 wrote:

I don’t get it.. would love to be there to see how this happens
I suffer from severe exhaustion going to bed at 3-4am because of the sedarim.
We don’t start before 9:30 and we have lots of people. Everything just takes time…
I could easily see ending at 12am instead of at 2:30am but 10:30??

essie14

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 2:41 am

amother Lotus wrote:

We start literally within 5 min of DH returning home from shul.
I didn't really look at the clock but I guess an hour after Candle lighting?
So 8:30-ish?

I plated the karpas with small dessert bowls of salt water in between every 2 people.

Shulchan orech- passed around a few serving bowls of the hard boiled eggs, everyone had their salt water from karpas. Then I served soup, but the main course was buffet style.

amother

Cappuccino

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 7:53 am

Family of 7. Kids all 14 and under.

First night we finished at 1:00
We could have finished 45 min earlier but super of took a break during shulchan orech to deal with lots of crying and frustrated kids (overtired and bothered by each other.)

Seder plate was set up by me before Seder.
We started within ten minutes of dh and boys coming home
Dh reads in Hebrew and gives a short sentence or two to summarize each paragraph.
Mah nishtana probably took 15 min with 5 kids saying it (singing or translating etc)
He severely limits kids' divrei torah to Max of 2 before shulchan orech. They can say divrei Torah during shulchan orech

It's not a super fun seder 🙁

watergirl

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 8:13 am

amother Denim wrote:

Using the word "early" in your first sentence implies a negative or not as good connotation. Early = before the normal time, whatever that is. I take issue with that.

We are a family of five for the past number of years, no guests. We finish around 12/12:30 but it takes us a long time to get started for some reason, if we were to jump right in the second my husband got home from shul I feel like we'd end before then (not counting the second seder when you have to start later).

Do you read all the words? Yes, of course we do. Who doesn't?
Do you translate? Yes, everything is said in english or hebrew, and then my husband says it in hebrew. If it was read in english, he says it in hebrew. If it was read in hebrew, he says it in english. Everyone should understand what is said.
Do you sing the singing parts? Yup! And some of the parts, we sing a few times in different niggunim. Each kid also says ma nishtanah and then we do it all together, we sing all of hallel out loud, and four or five of the songs in nirtzah. And since I grew up with different niggunim, I like to add some of that in also for old times sake.
Does everyone say mah Nishtana together? (By us, each kid says it separately)?Yup! See above.
How does the logistics of filling up all the Kosos, handing out proper amounts of matza, etc work out. I feel like I'm missing something with this questions, as I've seen people mention filling the cups a few times here. What is the issue? We each pour for the person next to us. My kids sometimes fight over who gets to pour for the parents, but it takes 3 seconds to pour. Why is this a time consuming thing? My husband hands out the matza and the marror, why should that take a long time?

I think the thing that makes a seder take longer is the meal, including the right before and right after of it. Meaning, some people clear their entire table before and after, some don't. Some people sit and have a long seuda, others (like us) are really full from all the matza so we really just do egg/salt water for those who want, fish for those who want, soup, and a few bites of chicken and a few bites of a side. I bring out dessert for those who want but it all takes less than 30 minutes to clear, eat, and resume the seder. I've seen people on this site and in this thread say they take a break at this point, and I don't understand that but to each their own. The seuda is a break, is it not? Even if there are d'vrei Torah at the meal, it's still a break. So this shleps it out also.

Another thing that makes a seder take longer is not being careful to finish the afikoman by chatzos.

Seder is not a competitive sport and I really don't understand these threads or even the conversation after YT asking people when they finished.

watergirl

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 8:16 am

amother Lotus wrote:

What on earth are you doing that keeps you up until 3-4? What is taking you so much time? I am only asking because you said you suffer from this. If you were fine with it, cool! But you are clearly not. Why don't you start before 9:30 the first night? I am sure there are ways you can be more efficient and bein bed much earlier than 3 or 4!

amother

Emerald

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 8:31 am

watergirl wrote:

Depending on the zemanim, the men might have come from shul not long before that.

amother

Lotus

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 8:34 am

watergirl wrote:

We start within 20 minutes or so from when dh comes home from shul
Our seder was over at 2:30
Then I had to clean up, figure out how to repack the fridge, sweep…. Then I checked my menu and took meat and kugel out of the freezer for the next day-
I also helped my kids settle down in bed. Many guests so some kids were sleeping on mattresses on the floor- found extra pillows, missing pajamas/
By the time I got to my room it was 3:20. I read for a few minutes to calm myself down so yes, I fell asleep around 4.
Our seder is nothing super amazing- just takes time. We were 15 people. We sort of rush shulchan areich… I don’t know, everything just takes a while