This drives me crazy!

amother

Sun, May 14 2023, 2:29 pm

When someone in passing asks how are you? Are you really interested in hearing what's on my mind at the moment when you don't really have the time to listen? Only ask if you really want to know Hiding

hotpretzel

Sun, May 14 2023, 2:32 pm

Its a way of greeting
"Hey howre you chani long time no see"
"Oh hi howre you"

Unless its a close friend you are on the phone with. But usually its said in passing on the street, at the store... its not meant to start a whole conversation on how you are feeling

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, May 14 2023, 2:33 pm

Lol my friend did an experiment where she would answer that she’s not ok or something similar. She said that most of the time people just answered the typical ‘oh nice’ and continued walking.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, May 14 2023, 2:37 pm

Think of it as one long word that means same thing as “Hello”. Then maybe it won’t drive you crazy.

flowerpower

Sun, May 14 2023, 2:39 pm

If someone asks me I just smile and say hi

If I ask someone then I stop and wait for an answer- because I really do mean it.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, May 14 2023, 3:04 pm

You aren't supposed to be taking it literally. It's an expression of greeting. Usually used in passing, correct reply is how are you?
When used in depth it is a conversation starter, again not to be taken too literally.
When someone actually means it you have to know by context.

mzybas

Sun, May 14 2023, 3:17 pm

In ye olde times, one would say "how do you do". To which you would nod and reply "how do you do." A slight bow would accompany this ritual. I think it meant "good day to you my good sir/ma'am"

In certain sections of the south they say 'howdy' for hi. Same sort of idea.

amother

Holly

Sun, May 14 2023, 3:50 pm

I don't care and I'm not being "nice." I'm following a social formula, just like saying "Pleased to meet you" whether I'm pleased or not. Don't overthink things. Imamothers are so good at overthinking, they've raised it to an art form.

amother

Mayflower

Sun, May 14 2023, 3:54 pm

I started greeting pple with a 'good to see you' as a quick in passing 'hello.'
I understand the 'how are you' is used in greeting, but it does desentitize the caring one for another when we're used to never really wanting to know the answer.
And for those who can truly use a sincere 'how are you' and listening ear, that question just reiterated to them how no one is htere.

effess

Sun, May 14 2023, 3:54 pm

I stopped saying how are you and changed it to:
Hi Chaya,
Great to see you!

amother

Pink

Sun, May 14 2023, 4:02 pm

I say hi so good to see you only ask questions if I have time to stop and shmooze.

yo'ma

Mon, May 15 2023, 8:01 am

I don’t ask and if someone else asks, I either ignore it or I let them know Twisted Evil

gr82no

Mon, May 15 2023, 8:27 am

On the phone I usually don’t care. But when it’s someone I haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time I am interested in hearing

Iymnok

Mon, May 15 2023, 8:33 am

In seminary we did an experiment; we responded “asparagus”. It was interesting to see who noticed.

amother

Holly

Mon, May 15 2023, 8:50 am

Iymnok wrote:

In seminary we did an experiment; we responded “asparagus”. It was interesting to see who noticed.

Don't leave us hanging. What percentage of people noticed?

Apropos, a friend of mine, when she suspects that her audience isn't listening to her, inserts some nonsense phrase like "and we flew pink flamingos to Alaska for lunch" just to see if anyone will notice. They seldom do.

theoneandonly

Mon, May 15 2023, 8:57 am

Iymnok wrote:

In seminary we did an experiment; we responded “asparagus”. It was interesting to see who noticed.

Lol and when we were kids instead of saying "good shabbos" to people on the street we would smile at them and say "pajamas." Most ppl didn't notice.

Iymnok

Mon, May 15 2023, 9:01 am

amother Holly wrote:

Sorry, I didn’t keep up, and it’s been nearly 20yrs.

amother

Mustard

Mon, May 15 2023, 9:01 am

amother Holly wrote:

Apropos, a friend of mine, when she suspects that her audience isn't listening to her, inserts some nonsense phrase like "and we flew pink flamingos to Alaska for lunch" just to see if anyone will notice. They seldom do.

Need to try that on dh!