How to teach frustration tolerance

#BestBubby

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 8:31 pm

Model.

If milk spilled say

Oh the milk spilled. But I won't get upset. I will wipe it up.

Tell stories about how you worked for something and got it.

And How you worked for something and didn't get it, but you feel good that you tried.

ittsamother

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 8:45 pm

Get a toy that's a bit challenging for your child's age. Not too much, just a bit. Let them play with it and do not step in to help. Instead, as they work on it keep encouraging their progress and their efforts. When they get a little stuck, talk about how it's hard but they can do it, just gotta keep trying, ask if there's another way they can try and maybe that will work better, maybe take a break just to calm down, then try again. When they succeed, compliment them on how even though they got frustrated, they kept trying, and how proud they should be of themselves that they did not give up.

Find other areas of life where you can do the same- puzzles, hmwk, baking or cooking, take them to an activity center, and also very importantly, as BestBubby and ImaSinger said, model it!! Make sure in front of them to "struggle" with things yourself and stop and say aloud, "I am so frustrated! I keep trying and it's just not working! This is making me so upset! Ok hold on, I'm going to calm myself down." And then do deep breaths, or take a quick walk out of the room and back, or pick a different activity just for a minute, then come back and say, "ok I'm ready to keep trying! I know I can do this!" And then when you do finish it (don't do it too easily), "Wow, I feel so proud of myself, I was frustrated so I calmed down and I tried again! It was hard but I can do it! We can do hard things!" Etc etc

TCFrenk

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 11:21 pm

Discuss with children that sometimes bad things happen. When children are very young they can only cry and yell about it. However when a person grows up and they are more mature they can deal with it in a better way.

Then reinforce better behavior verbally "wow! that was better then last week! I see that you can act a little more like a grown up."

It is important not to give to much attention to the maladaptive behavior so you can say something mildly empathetic e.g. "that was hard to deal with, when you get older it will probably be easier."