No energy to continue doing so much!!!! Need helpb

amother

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 5:58 pm

I'm working very very hard on all ends. As a mother. A wife. In the kitchen. With kids. And working to bring in $$$.
So is my husband. He helps a ton at home. He also works.
I have my own business. I do well, though far from my goal. I could make more money... If I hire. Expand. Do certain things within the business. I have endless ideas that can work, but
I'm feeling very burnt out.

Part of me wants to drop some things. But it's stupid to do that. I've built a solid foundation for a business. I don't have energy to expand. I don't want to hire more.... I also can't do so much. I have great cleaning help. I don't have enough money for a nanny.

Life is so so expensive.
I Don't know what to do.

Vacation doesn't help for more than a week. You come back refreshed... But doesn't last. Besides I don't have where to divide Mt kids.

Maybe a good therapist can help? But it would need to be someone really good that can help with money mindsets and fast. Any recommendations? Suggestions?

613mitzvahgirl

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 6:08 pm

Hi.. firstly I am sending you some hugs.. I feel the same many times..for me I just take mini vacations.. what I mean is I call it me time, no distractions no phone calls.. no housework for about two hours while my kids are at school.. I buy precooked take out for that night for me and use disposables,for me and my husband and kids.. I hear a shuir in the phone, put on a short YouTube video, a good book or bake.. I do a puzzle and this way I feel refreshed after it is a me vacation so why not.. this way I still am there for my family, I am at home, and then I sometimes take a bath with a scented candle when my kids are asleep.. this really helps me.. I do it about once a couple of weeks and it has helped me tons.. Hatzlocha ☺️

amother

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 6:25 pm

613mitzvahgirl wrote:

Thank you! This is so beautiful. You're so right. Mini self care is key. I should figure this out

kermit

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 6:34 pm

the fact is, certain periods of time in life are just really really hard. SO hard you don't know how you'll get through the week.

especially when you're right in the throes of building a life and futer.

one foot in front of the other. one day at a time. do what you need to keep moving.

it won't always be like this. the kids will get older and help more at home. the business will grow. it might be in 2 years, it might be in 5.

don't take extended vacations, split those breaks up into extra sleep whenever possible. take walks. eat lunch by yourself, no screens.

give yourself the grace to be utterly imperfect but functional. things can be 'good enough' - ex really simple shabbos meals. messy house but clean laundry, kitchen, and bathroom. skip having perfect clothing, sheitels etc etc (I have no clue your community or standards - but see if/where you can drop some lol)

kids can do more. they can ALWAYS do more. do their own hair. make their own beds. help with dinner. might be a little harder in beginning to teach and enforce that routine but once they learn what a relief! (and they will NOT do their chores perfectly - again, good enough is good enough)

iYH, its times like these you'll probably look back with rose colored sentimentality. but you just need to get through them first lol LOL

613mitzvahgirl

Thu, Jul 20 2023, 6:39 pm

You’ll iyh see you’re going to feel so refreshed after.. tell your husband he should do it to, without the scented candle- and if it helps him, let him.. and sometimes my kids do it after a few weeks of school.. they feel so refreshed.. snd if they don’t cook ask them what they’d like for supper that night and see if you can get take out for the family and there you have a night off supper duty.. 😊
I learned this from a from a parsha I was going through and it really helps.. Hatzlocha ❤️