Truth about daycare - what do you think?

amother

Oleander

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:05 am

#BestBubby wrote:

And yet humanity survived nearly 6000 years
With mothers raising their own children.

Yes, globalist elite caused this "new normal"

To destroy the family, kids raised by government controlled workers (vouchers, public school)
not their parents.

Should we go back to the days girls didn't go to school?

csstb

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:10 am

#BestBubby wrote:

In USA 1940s 50s 60s

Kids weren't dying of malnutrition and cold.

Life expectancy in the 1940s was almost 20 years shorter than it is today, mostly because of higher infant and child mortality. I don’t really want to go back to that standard of living, tbh.

And my mom’s parents both worked out of the house shortly thereafter to make things work financially. So even in the 60s, it’s not like moms could just stay home with their kids.

amother

Thistle

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:32 am

For nearly 6,000 years children were likely raised by slaves, servants and Nannie’s. Even if not entirely, such help was standard. And homemaking was basically the only thing women did. I honestly have more interests, homemaking too, but in addition to others.

Additionally, excluding babies I don’t think it’s healthy for children to be constantly entertained by adults.

Trademark

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:33 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I grew up 60s and 70s.

Mom's didn't work,

Girls went to BY

Tuition was waaaay cheaper.

Haven't you noticed the insane inflation?

You can be nostalgic, but we have to deal with reality.

Back then the dollar went way further.

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:37 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

I wouldn't want to send my kids off into marriage carrying debt already.

This kind of thinking is short-sighted. If each person is responsible for marrying themselves off, it is so much more doable than a person needing to marry off 10 kids down the road. You work hard to set up your life when you're younger, and then you work your way up from there. What we have now is thay we throw everything to our kids from the start. We provide expensive weddings and all kinds of luxuries to them, and then life has them going downhill from there. If we remove the crazy wedding expenses for ten kids from a couple later in life , it will be a huge help in our lifestyles.

It also offers the ability to stabilize the crazy wedding costs and life expectations. If a young couple has to pay for their own wedding expenses, you think they'll 'need' half the stuff they do now? If they have to pay for it themselves, watch how quickly so many of our kids will change their expectations. They will need less and develop financial sense how to properly prepare for the future. Right now our kids get married off without much financial care about their future. Mommy and Tatty are put into a position where they have to pay for all the excess and luxuries. And the couple just runs with the assumption that they will figure out finances later. Both of these are heavy contributors to our society's current financial mess.

smss

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:43 am

#BestBubby wrote:

If we could lower our standard of living, it would be possible.

But that can only happen if we do that collectively.

Otherwise our kids would be social pariah.

Like bare bones simchas,
no vacations,
No seminary,
Eliminate day camp except for 1/2 day for boys,
No sunday clubs,
no matching- wear hand me downs,
No expensive sheitels
costume jewelry
No cleaning help, and no homework, kids clean

I already do all of this (well, haven't made simchas or gotten to the seminary point yet) and my husband and I still both need to work.

csstb

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:51 am

#BestBubby wrote:

I grew up 60s and 70s.

Mom's didn't work,

Girls went to BY

Tuition was waaaay cheaper.

Then you clearly grew up more affluent with a higher standard of living than those in my grandparents’ and parents’ communities. And perhaps you have been more affluent than many for your whole life and so it’s easy to be nostalgic for the past. But it would be foolish to claim that because your mom and the others around yours didn’t work, everyone should be able to sustain that kind of lifestyle now.

amother

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 10:57 am

#BestBubby wrote:

No parents paying for weddings.

Girls work during and after HS to save up.

Boys work bein hazmanim to save up.

A gmach loan for couple to help pay

For very bare bone wedding and apt set up.

That sounds like a horrible way to live. I think my kids are better off being sent to daycare.

behappy2

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 2:37 pm

To me it seems she is referring to daycares that have 20 babies with 5 caregivers and the caregivers aren't spending time bonding with the kids.

Compare that to sending to a caring, warm Mommy with only a few other babies and for five hours a day.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 2:42 pm

behappy2 wrote:

It’s funny. It’d much rather 20 babies and 5 givers than 1 to ‘a few’ This way the caregivers get protected bathroom, meal, and snack breaks. They caregivers have each other to lean on if help is needed. That said, Ive never seen one ‘class’ (age) of babies being as large as 20. My (excellent, high quality, legal/within ratio) daycare caps at 8 per class (classes are divided by age) Are there really daycare with 20 infants in one room? I’m trying to picture that

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 2:45 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

Mine has 16 and 4 teachers. This is for 1.5 year olds, not for newborns.

The newborns have 12 and 4 teachers.

amother

Chestnut

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 4:00 pm

Full disclosure I didn’t watch the video.
But kids have been supervised by non-parents for thousands of years. Kids get so much more attention now in many ways. Kids used to also be left to their own devices while their mother did housework. We expect moms now to not only stay at home with kids but to develop montessori routines and sit and play with their kids all day. That’s vastly different from most of history.

In an ideal world we’d all stay home with our kids and give them undivided attention. But this world is far from ideal. There’s nothing wrong with sending a kid to a high-quality daycare. The American academy of pediatrics has not come out with a statement against daycare. From my own research, it’s really only poor quality daycares that can cause significant harm. There’s so many other factors to providing kids with love and security. All we can do is do our best to vet childcare and find high quality providers. That’s a completely fair and smart decision and no one should feel fear mongered into staying home. I have yet to see data that kids who go to daycare are scarred for life.

Signed,
A mom whose toddler has been in daycare since 3 months old and is doing just fine bH

amother

DarkRed

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 4:44 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

Not 20 but I worked in a daycare with 15 babies to 3 morahs. Its way too many babies. At any given time there are a few crying, a few hungry, a few need to be changed...its not pretty

zohara568

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 5:46 pm

Couldn’t get through the whole video- got get ready for shabbos- but I started sending my daughter at 5 months. Me working is the only way we could afford to live in a frum area. I lucked out and the home daycare is wonderful, the provider is like a grandma. The only things she won’t do for my daughter is contact nap and wear her. And my daughter loves it because she is highly extroverted (unlike myself). So I guess it depends on the individual situation. I think my daughter is way too high energy for me to be a stay home mom- even if I could.

behappy2

Fri, Aug 18 2023, 5:54 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

Not 20 but I worked in a daycare with 15 babies to 3 morahs. Its way too many babies. At any given time there are a few crying, a few hungry, a few need to be changed...its not pretty

Yes, the problems she is bringing up is lack of attunement (kids not being taken care of properly), lack of attachment (not being spoken to, played with) lack of consistency (babies having to get to know too many caregivers or changeover of caregivers, and not developing bond with primary caregiver (only applicable if both parents aren't e working close to 12 hour shifts).

I only listened to the first half though.