My 13 yr old dd wants to put nailpolish on her feet

AllThings

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 12:40 am

Ma11 wrote:

I hear, I am taking all the advice from here... I allready told her I spoke it and over with smart people..., and will take her somwhere nice to start, then she can do it on her own too... I cant explain to you her reaction she got so emotional!! She danced and laughed and hugged me ... She told me ma its freaky just today I davend so hard for hashem to help me ! Lol Omg she shouldve asked for more important stuff right? But this is driving her crazy! , so for a 13 yr. Old, this could mean the world, go figure...

Actually pretty sure I remember hearing how we should feel comfortable davening for everything, big or small. We can daven for the big stuff - C"V to think Hashem can't do the big stuff, but also Hashem is actively involved in every little aspect of our lives...
I try to remember to ask Hashem (out loud - for my 3 yr old's sake) on the way home from picking up the kids, please Hashem, give us a good parking spot right available for us when we get home (parking is impossible where I live at the time we generally get home).

amother

Antiquewhite

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 7:06 am

Ma11 wrote:

Should I be embarressed to say Ive never walked in to a salon... whats there not appropiate to see? Tv? Pictures what please share

Isn't there someone who has a private salon in their basement? You could call and schedule and tell them not to have music with word/screen on/whatever.

eta: didn't read the whole thread. I agree with poster who said not to reward with things that are not aligned with values.
Maybe dollar store nail polish is good enough.
I remember one dark blue that my mom bought me that I loved. I even used it later on to mark my milchige pots when I was dorming.

amother

NeonGreen

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 7:18 am

Ma11 wrote:

I once had a discussion whth a woman wearing a very long wig, she claimed this, that in her community its the norm to wear these wigs, and therefore its allowed there, its intresting that your bringing it up here. I wonder if its true with halacha, pertaining to wigs maykup and nailpolish etc... Btw this is just for my curiosity and not to preach , draw lines or educate anyone.

Yes . In hilchos tznius there is something called Das Yehudis in addition to Das Moshe.
Das Moshe is the Torah and Das Yehudis are things Jewish women took upon themselves for tznius. In each community the Das Yehudis may be different.

Iymnok

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 7:48 am

She doesn’t need to know about primers, top coats and nail art. Just get her some fun colors at a drugstore and nail polish remover, cotton pads, and q-tips.
If she wants designs, give her some toothpicks.

SuperWify

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 7:52 am

All Chassidish women I know wear nail polish. Very light but beautiful colors. They don’t approve of my red nails (but neither does my mom). Curious to know which community doesn’t allow?

amother

Antiquewhite

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 8:05 am

On the topic of wearing nailpolish or not, I usually don't (chassidish in Israel) the stigma is that it's more modern. Some wear nude, some wear colors and some have long acrylic nails. I don't want to, and I don't care to spend the time/money on it. (mother of small kids)
While I was abroad, I went with my sil and got nails done. And then I thought about what nails symbolize, it's that part of you that's a klippa, something tamei. And it just made me feel so strange about pronouncing it and building it and making my klippa expand. Can't explain it properly. That was about a 1.5 year ago, haven't worn since. Not to say I won't but haven't yet...

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 8:12 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

Maybe I'm super naive (or super jaded??) but just wondering what people mean by exposed to stuff in a nail salon. Iv'e been to many nail salons in my life (in jewish and non-jewish areas) and honestly confused as to what you would be exposed to there...

The nail salons by me play non-Jewish music, and some have big tv screens with tv showing. Not the best environment to bring a young girl, in my opinion. Better to find one without these things. If there is a Jewish salon, that would be a better option.

amother

NeonYellow

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:02 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

Oh I hear you. But certainly nothing more than you would see in a mall.

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:10 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

Oh I hear you. But certainly nothing more than you would see in a mall.

I guess. Most malls aren't showing tv. And in the salon you're just sitting there and the music and tv are much more in your face than if you're walking past or shopping in a store. Also, at least some of the salons I've gone to had a certain style of music playing that is different from the mote generic store music.

amother

Diamond

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:13 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

Agreed, also the tv. For example the most recent times I went to a nail salon (which was probably around 5 yrs ago), there was a talk show with a panel of 5 women describing and discussing s-xual topics.

I'm sure it's very different at a frum place!! But still would be an indulging, pampering experience. So that's why I was a bit confused why OP would want to treat her daughter this way, if it's not in line with her values.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:19 am

SuperWify wrote:

All Chassidish women I know wear nail polish. Very light but beautiful colors. They don’t approve of my red nails (but neither does my mom). Curious to know which community doesn’t allow?

All chassidish women you know wear polish? Where do you live? Polish is frowned upon in every chassidish community and most chassidish women in Williamsburg, Boro Park, Monsey, Monroe.... do not wear polish. Those that do are considered more chilled & mainstream chassidish schools do not allow mothers to wear polish.

amother

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 9:26 am

Just got her few colors in a local drug store shes on high ! Shelk try it for shabbes and weekend I think its enough for a start . I also told her that her feet need to be covered all the time meaning that if she has nailpolish on her toesies its only for her own pleasure and no one else... Thx again to all our imas for taking time to comment on this issue of mine it might sound like a silly issue to you but to me it was huge since I never dealt with such a young teen wanting this ...

amother

Cantaloupe

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 10:07 am

happyone wrote:

Delisse spa makes it a real nice experience. Theyre located on Perlman drive near Bites. The place on top of chase Bank on rt 59 is also great.

On rt 59 do you mean Lillys spa? Didnt they move yet to Francis area?

amother

Amber

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 10:24 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

It has become more mainstream lately, I think particularly in Williamsburg.

amother

Opal

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 11:11 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

There are tons of nail salons in Boro Park. Who is going to them if chassidish women dont wear nail polish?

SuperWify

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 11:51 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

I don’t live in any of those places but I grew up in Lakewood and I know plenty of Chassidish women. Maybe their mothers won’t wear but many of my generation will.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 11:59 am

amother Amber wrote:

It has become more mainstream lately, I think particularly in Williamsburg.

It's definitely not mainstream in Williamsburg, no way. But many older women in Williamsburg that have married off all their kids, may wear natural color. Many women get just a buff with no polish which may give a look of natural polish.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 20 2023, 12:00 pm

amother Opal wrote:

There are tons of nail salons in Boro Park. Who is going to them if chassidish women dont wear nail polish?

Women get a manicure without polish.
Many women do wear polish on their toenails.