S/O potching - definition

amother

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:38 am

So because of all these threads recently and the ehated discussions, can someone give me and maybe enlighten everyone:

When you say potch, what are you referring to? I think that a lot of the discussions are useless unless you define what the word potch means to you.

I always get so frustrated when I read these threads because I never know who means what.

Thank you

amother

Thistle

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:42 am

Other. In my mind the location of a potch could be anywhere but is always hard enough to startle and hurt.

If people think a potch is literally a gentle tap on the hand then certainly it isn't abusive but also can't see how it's remotely effective and not at all the best way to distract or get your child's attention anyhow.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:09 am

Agree that “potch” is an ambiguous term that can be used to describe a wide range from a light tap to a hard slap across the face or hitting with objects. In most secular debates the word “spanking” is used which very clearly and specifically means smacking the bottom with an open hand. This is not typically abuse and at least takes that out of the spanking debate.

Mommyg8

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 9:31 am

Thank you for starting this thread, because I think it is indeed important to differentiate. When people say they potch, does this mean they hit daily or once in a lifetime? Hard enough to hurt or a light slap?

It is absolutely abusive to hit your child daily - or even weekly. I think everyone agrees with that. Its the "never ever will I hit my kid no matter what" that I, at least, disagree with.

To answer OP's question - for me, a potch for a two or three year old would be a light tap, and only if they did something dangerous (such as taking out scissors or knives and cutting themselves, pouring lysol on the babies head, things of that nature).

For an older child obviously it would be different, but hopefully rare. I don't think it's ok to potch an older child for disobedience, but only for serious infractions. Stealing, lying, hurting someone.

Another time when I think it's ok is when the kid is overtired or otherwise completely out of control.

I personally don't consider any of the above examples abusive, but I guess other imamothers would. Or they just have such amazing and well behaved kids that none of these scenarios has ever happened to them.

amother

Raspberry

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:36 am

for me personally it depends your motives when giving the potch. are you angry or mad at the time?
Are you doing it to punish your child?
there are several ways you can be strict, scary, and punish a child without needed to give the potch.

amother

Tuberose

Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:52 am

I voted other. All of the above are potching - physically hitting (and hurting) your own child. Even a
'tap' hurts too. But even just a little pain is wrong to inflict on a child in your care. Physical hitting of a child in any location is bad, all of them are potching.