So worried and confused about Dd15

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:15 pm

I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experience with this. Just know that I can only check in occasionally, so I might not respond immediately.

About a week or two ago, my daughter, funny look on her face, confided to me that during school that day, for no reason, tears just kept slipping from her eyes. She was unsettled by it. She said she kept feeling like crying, but for no reason.

Within a day or two , we watched her get sadder and more withdrawn. We realized that she was sinking into depression.

I contacted our pediatrician, and he prescribed sertraline (zoloft ). My daughter adamantly refuses to take it. She's always been wary of any medication; She the type who prefers dealing with headaches rather than popping tylenol.

1. Retrospectively, we realize that this has been going in for a few weeks at least. She was listless, tired, kvetchy, etc. But we didn't pick up on it immediately.
2. Dd is a very easygoing, laid back, good natured kid, entirely drama free. She is very successful in school and at home. Which is why this comes as such a complete shock.
3. No, she has not been hurt or traumatized in any way. I am 100% certain of this

After a few days home from school, (spent mostly in bed), she is making a huge effort to pull herself together. She's terrified of taking medication, so she's determined to show us she's doing OK. But she's fragile, emotionally as well as physically. She complains of feeling cold. She's constantly tired. She has insomnia. She's doing everything so slowly. (Although, at times throughout the day her lively, loving personality shines through. She kids around with her little sister, chats on the phone with her friends, etc.

My questions:
1. First of all, help! I'm worried sick, and utterly clueless how to help her. . Should I force her to take the meds? That would be traumatic for her.
2. Is this possible? Can a perfectly healthy, happy, well adjusted teen slide into depression just like that? I simply can't wrap my head around this!

Please , I would appreciate any advice or insight!

amother

Blonde

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:24 pm

I’m not an expert, but that sounds unusual. I suffered from depression as a teen, but it built up over months (or maybe years). It also sounds like you’re throwing pills at it without exploring therapy or looking at other options, which for me would be a first step.

Can you do a full work up to see if there’s a medical cause? After that, I’d schedule an appointment with an experienced therapist. Don’t force the pills, but do let her know that you have them in case she changes her mind.

Shopmiami49

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:25 pm

I am not an expert in any way, but I would also be wary of the dr throwing Zoloft at her before investigating further.

It sounds like your mother's intuition is telling you that there might be more to this and you should follow your intuition. If there is truly something deeper than the symptoms she is presenting with, zoloft may cover up the real problem or even cv make it worse. On the other hand, if you spend a few weeks doing more digging and testing before starting zoloft, you may find something else. And if all is clear, why not consider the zoloft at that point?

amother

Ivory

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is she a perfectionist, because of the not wanting medication? Is she eating normally and behaving normally around food? Does she go to the bathroom right after meals? Complaining about being cold, listless, tired as well could be chas vsholom symptoms of anorexia/bulimia

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:39 pm

Thanks everyone.

So, yes, my instinct is that the depression stems from an underlying physical cause.

To respond to your suggestions:

This winter, she's had a root canal- related oral infection for which she was prescribed antibiotics. Nothing else as far as I can remember.

Our pediatrician prescribed meds, based on the fact that recent labwork (December time)(which I asked for, come to think of it, because I was concerned about her low energy, I wanted to rule out any vitamin deficiencies, anemia etc.) But the results were perfect bh.

He recommended therapy, but dd is not at a place where she would undertake something so big (for her).

No, she's not being bullied. She's quite self assured and confident, generally.

Thanks for chiming in; it helps me feel less alone in this.

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 1:42 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

Thanks, all good points.

For a few days, she had no appetite. But before this episode, and also currently, she's eating well. She is completely healthy around d food.

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 2:01 pm

This is really tough OP.
I'm the mother of an adult daughter who developed a mental health condition out of the blue at the age of 15 (in this thread I'm amother Cherry https://www.imamother.com/foru.....00801).
You keep posting that she won't take medication or see a therapist. It's truly painful but sometimes that's the reality. It's like someone with cancer r'l refusing treatment. If everything else is ruled out, you must get your daughter to a point where she gets the help she needs. Please keep a positive attitude as much as possible and reassure her that there are perfectly normal people out there who seek treatment, and no one knows. Tell her she can have a very normal future, marry, build a family, etc...all of this will be more possible if she gets the help she needs. Do your best to de-stigmatize this for her. And another thing - get help for yourself, so you can parent her in the best way possible as she goes thru this.
Many hugs.

oneofakind

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 2:15 pm

After checking thyroid, is she taking any medication? Singulair, for allergies, has been implicated in psychiatric symptoms.
Would she join an exercise or dance class?
If you are in Lakewood, see if you can get into Tzippy Schiller. She's a nurse practitioner specialist in psychiatric and family medicine and really understands hormones and physical reasons for psychiatric symptoms in addition to being a good prescriber.
Hatzlacha Raba with this

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 2:17 pm

oneofakind wrote:

I second Tzippy Schiller, she's my daughter's practitioner and she is fantastic.

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 2:17 pm

Do not make her take Zoloft. Forcing medication is cruel and unethical. And forcing therapy simply doesn't work. You can go the medical route, and you can encourage her to take medication if and only if it's prescribed by a psychiatrist, not a pediatrician.

It really sounds like it's a physical cause here, and you might want to get a second opinion from another doctor. There are all kinds of conditions that can cause these symptoms, and even if someone here is a doctor, she can't examine a patient through Imamother.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 2:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

My first thought was a medical issue. But if the doc ruled that out, then is it possible that something happened that she doesnt want to speak of? My second thought is that she is trying to bury something, but is being unsuccessful and its haunting her.