How did you sleep train?

amother

Red

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:36 am

amother Freesia wrote:

Ferber himself rescinded part of his recommendation. He says he regrets advice he gave. It’s an outdated approach and shouldn’t be used.

He barely rescinded it. In an interview he explained that he’s not as rigid with it as people make it seem.
‘Both Sears and Ferber have changed their views. Twenty years ago the Sears were strong advocates of co-sleeping, the practice of parents and children sharing a bed. Now, Sears acknowledges that this doesn't work for everybody. Ferber once said that parents who want to co-sleep should, quote, "examine their own motivations." In his new book, he now says co-sleeping works just fine for many families.’

Sears who showed research that babies who are left to cry shut down, has himself admitted that that was only the case if the baby was left to cry for longer periods of time.

amother

Geranium

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:38 am

amother Freesia wrote:

https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/read/case-against-ferber-sleep

I just read the article that Ferber wrote and he says that the Ferber method wasn’t intended to solve all sleep issues. Well obviously. There will always be ppl against it, and if it doesn’t seem right for you don’t do it, but I do not believe that it causes brain damage.

https://www.alittlesleep.com/b.....ining

https://www.heavensentsleep.co.....ticle

https://publications.aap.org/p.....ltext

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:43 am

amother Geranium wrote:

Where did you get this info from?

So a depressed non functional mom is better?
Sleep training has turned my life around. I was not functional with no sleep.

I always wondered - do people who try the cry it out method try others first and use it as a last resort? You’re right that sleep training turns your life around but I was able to achieve that without making her cry it out…

amother

Holly

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:49 am

I'm the one who said I let my baby cry from 2-20 minutes. Some clarification so you don't all worry about my children. I wouldn't leave my 6 month old to scream for 20 minutes either. It was a range by age and stage. And also in coordination with the pediatrician who specializes in baby/child sleep studies.

2 minutes is for a 6 month old. 20 minutes is for an older baby / toddler who needs to sleep but is consistently refusing and is sleep deprived. And I don't mean 20 minutes of hysterical crying, I mean 20 minutes of on and off kvetchy whiny type crying. And if she wanted hard candy and I said no, or to eat her sister's homework and I said no, or to go out the front door and I said no, or try to pet a stray cat and I said no, or eat a cigarette butt from the playground dirt and I said no, she would kvetch and whine and tantrum for an equal amount of time, and I wouldn't give her want she wants then. If I tell her it is naptime or bedtime when she still wants to play, she does the same thing - a baby tantrum and I can't just let her not sleep if she needs it. She cries whether I hold her or she is in her crib (and if she is very tired, she cries less in her crib), and whether I am in the room or not (she usually cries less if I leave the room but she can still hear me doing things quietly in the house, she is cries louder when she sees us). She rarely cries for 20 minutes though, that happened only a handful of times, usually she cries for a few minutes and that's it. I wish she didn't cry at all, but she is a baby/toddler and that is part of her normal healthy communication until she speaks better. Our oldest rarely cried as a baby and that was actually much more concerning to the professionals.

Obviously, everyone should do what they are comfortable with, not telling anyone what to do with their baby, just what worked for us. Our current baby (who is really more of a toddler) is the stubborn kind, and sometimes this means more crying or kvetching. Our oldest was an angel and barely cried, sleep training was a breeze. But every kid is different, every parent is different, do what works for you.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:49 am

Anyone who said that a 6 month old is to young to put them selves to sleep is highly mistaken
I’m currently training my 6 week old and today she put herself to sleep for all her naps

Some took more time and needed me to intervene but I wasn’t standing there rocking her for 45 min u til she was in a deep sleep like I did the first 5 weeks of her life
It’s called teaching a baby healthy sleep habits
It’s not crying at all
It’s levels of intervention and slowly they need only the slightest I tevwntion until u can just put them down and leave
I did this with my three kids and bh it works great and thousands agree
Take the taking care of babies course it’s a life changer I recommend it to literally every single person I meet
But by six months already I prob would just do Ferber and if the crying is to hard let him cry for smaller intervals
Trust me they need sleep and teaching them how to sleep on there own is a gift to them and to you!!

amother

Red

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:54 am

amother Floralwhite wrote:

Yes!! Love Taking Cara Babies!

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:42 am

amother Floralwhite wrote:

Training a 6 week old!? This is so sad. That is really wrong. A 6 week old is a newborn.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:43 am

amother Holly wrote:

It’s still harmful fro a kvetchy toddler to cry for 20 minutes. These kids tend to suffer from anxiety for this type of parenting. Please rethink your approach.

amother

Holly

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:57 am

amother Freesia wrote:

It’s still harmful fro a kvetchy toddler to cry for 20 minutes. These kids tend to suffer from anxiety for this type of parenting. Please rethink your approach.

I appreciate your concern. At this point it's already done, my kids are really not anxious at all (which was a surprise to me because I have had anxiety), and I used this approach with them. For some kids, it might not be the right approach and I fine tuned it for each kid depending on their needs.

amother

Red

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:00 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

Training a 6 week old!? This is so sad. That is really wrong. A 6 week old is a newborn.

Not sleep training and letting cry until asleep or not feeding when hungry at night, she’s teaching her baby healthy sleep habits (such as putting baby down when drowsy but still awake so they don’t become dependent on mom to fall asleep) that are completely age appropriate and not at all abusive or neglectful to the child. And you can still do that and give your child all the care and love and snuggling and everything else and you’re setting yourself and your baby up for better sleep later on.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:16 pm

amother Red wrote:

You said it perfect
my baby is learning how to put her self to sleep and connect sleep cycles without me having to rock/feed/anything…
Of course if she cries I go in but I don’t go in and pick her up and do these things
There is a method of intervention to calm them down and sooner then later they need les and less intervention and it’s not cuz they are crying themselves to sleep! It’s cuz they don’t need the help! no one is “ sleep training” a six week old by letting them cry it out…

amother

DarkMagenta

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:17 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

What is so sad about me teaching my baby to fall asleep on their own without crying
Plz tell me?
6 weeks is perfectly able! She’s doing it and so did my other babies!

Get used to this. Scheduling babies is utterly cruel since there can be absolutely no way of doing it without letting them cry it out. And scheduling babies in general is just abusive since you are not allowing your child to choose the way they want to live. How dare you!! Who cares that you and baby are happier?????

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:21 pm

amother Red wrote:

Right. This won’t work on most babies though (drowsy but awake). It’s temperament dependent. If it works for your baby then great! It’s nothing though that the parent themselves is doing- some babies are just “unicorn babies” or have certain type of temperament that allows them to fall asleep on their own- that’s amazing but not the norm.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:21 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

It’s not what you’re doing though that is helping her connect sleep cycles. She naturally is doing that. It’s her temperament