Help! Need to do two households at once

amother

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 7:45 pm

Leaving out many personal details for privacy sake -

My dad has been dealing with medical issues for some time, and as part of that has been in and out of various medical facilities. As of right now it looks like he will still be in his current facility come Pesach. Which means my mom is trying to turn over the house on her own. (Kids are long since moved out, not all live locally enough to help). We will be just sealing up the spare bedroom, closing closets - any shortcut that's possible.

One of the main problems is the kitchen - it really has to be turned over, unless we convince her to rent an empty apartment for Pesach and just seal up the whole place (hasn't gone for it yet because she would have to get in early enough to cook for Pesach, and we haven't found one yet that is available that early - and yes, she does really want to cook lichvod the chag).

So somehow, magically, we need to turn over her kitchen, shop for her, separate shopping for my dad (the place will have Pesachdik food, but won't have nosh or seder stuff, yes, some family will do a seder with him there), in addition to all the regular day to day stuff we've been juggling for my parents (think bills, some shopping, taking over most of the day to day for their business, medical appointments, visiting, etc).

I have no clue where to start! One sibling is trying to find a cleaning company that still has people to send out, I'm trying to corral the (multiple) shoppings and (somehow) go through my dad's things at the medical place to check for chametz, another sibling is dealing with seder supplies and coordination, another relative is...you get the idea.

There is too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Without the Pesachdikim my parents place we were all overwhelmed trying to help my parents, but this last piece is throwing us.

Can anyone suggest how to keep on top of more than one place at a time and essentially make Pesach for two households at once???

(If people know of companies/organizations that help or can send out volunteer or paid staff, parents are New York City based. No clue if we could talk my parents into using them, but we would certainly try)

Help

teachkids

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 7:50 pm

I assume sealing up and moving in with one of you guys isn’t an option?

seeker

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 8:00 pm

teachkids wrote:

I assume sealing up and moving in with one of you guys isn’t an option?

That was my question. I understand the desire for independence but it sounds a bit much to turn over Mom's kitchen so she can cook, when I'm sure you'd be a lot happier to just cook for her in your own kitchen which you're doing for yourself anyway.

Even without exceptional health issues, there comes a season of life when many people just let their kids host them.

amother

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 8:08 pm

teachkids wrote:

I assume sealing up and moving in with one of you guys isn’t an option?

Unfortunately not for multiple reasons. Different reasons at different ends, some wouldn't work for the families she would potentially stay by, some wouldn't work for her

amother

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 8:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Unfortunately not for multiple reasons. Different reasons at different ends, some wouldn't work for the families she would potentially stay by, some wouldn't work for her

No one can hold her for the whole thing. There are relatives who could house her for part of Pesach, others for other pieces, but as far as she is concerned she would still want to cook, and no one local is turning over early enough to accommodate that piece.

(I don't turn over until the day before - it's just easier to stay in chametz until the last second and we usually cook fairly simply, maybe one drop above a normal Shabbos)

amother

Clover

Sat, Apr 13 2024, 9:09 pm

Ok, I think I can help.
Haven't been in exact situation, but close enough.
Concerning shopping for your mom.
E/t that needs a kosher store, hubby took care of.
E/t else: food, fruit & veg, cleaning supplies, tin foil and pans, toiletries I made a massive online order.
Purposly over ordered, so we wouldn't run out of things.

Then we went over on Motze Shabbos( not Adar Beis Year, Motzash was 6.30 ish.
And we just pulled through. I think it took 4-5hours. Next morning we took a break and in the afternoon we did our kitchen, next night we kashered the rental near MIL were we'd stay over Yom Tov.

All medical/ technical/ billing was taken care by another sibling.

Visits to FIL happened every other day.

Wasn't easy, but we ended up doing 3 years....
Hatzloche !!!

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 8:45 am

Wow that sends hard! I know in some areas there are people that kasher kitchen over to pesach (for money). Reach out to local Chabad if they have any info. As far as cleaning hire cleaning help/crew. Good luck!

zigi

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:04 am

Can you cover and buy a stove top- toaster oven to bake in?

doodlesmom

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:56 am

Maybe it’s easier to turn over 1 day ahead and let her use your cooking facilities, instead of doing 2 kitchens.

Use her chometz kitchen for the last shabbos and yours should be pesach dig.

amother

Blue

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:17 am

If you're only kashering yours right before, can you do her kitchen today on Sunday?

Then place an online order for everything she needs, to be delivered to her tomorrow.

Cheiny

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 12:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

Unfortunately not for multiple reasons. Different reasons at different ends, some wouldn't work for the families she would potentially stay by, some wouldn't work for her

So she’ll be all alone, conducting the sedarim on her own? Is that what she prefers?

amother

Snowdrop

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 12:34 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

Maybe it’s easier to turn over 1 day ahead and let her use your cooking facilities, instead of doing 2 kitchens.

Use her chometz kitchen for the last shabbos and yours should be pesach dig.

And if the issue is feeding your family, you can cook chometz in her house for dinners

amother

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:32 pm

Cheiny wrote:

So she’ll be all alone, conducting the sedarim on her own? Is that what she prefers?

Right now we are still figuring things out.

She is looking to be with my dad for the sedarim, but right now that is looking like it would mean her staying in a bikkur cholim room (no way to cook there) that ties in to the facility. She would have other family members walking in to join them for at least one seder (did I mention we are still figuring this out?). But that still leaves the cooking pre-Pesach piece, not to mention the rest of Pesach. Some relatives can have her over chol hamoed, and what she does for last days will depend on my dad's health.

We are trying to make this as easy as we can on both of my parents, but what they need or want vs what we can pull off isn't necessarily the same thing Sad