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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Adding a Candle

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Tue, Nov 30 2004, 3:43 pm

when I started to become frum I started lighting candles - 2 actually because I had my great grandmother's licht. When I got married, my first Shabbos I started lighting 6 candles - it was very nice and a little strange. (I have 4 step children)

After I had my first child, my husband surprised me with a 7 stemmed licht - then Hashem surprised us and gave me two more children. I love lighting for everyone on Shabbos.

zuncompany

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 3:45 pm

CS... isn't it the greatest feeling! That first Shabbos after my babies were born, I kept looking over at the lechter in amazement that those were mine! My husband and I will sit looking at them after all the guests are gone and the boys are in bed just in shock!

sara

Motek

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 3:47 pm

I have a sefer which contains a Hebrew and an English section, called Kitzur Dinei Neiros Shabbos Kodesh, according to the rulings of the Rebbes of Chabad, compiled by Rabbi Nissan Dovid Dubov.

in chapter 7 - Candle Lighting for Girls it says:

"And Yitzchok brought her (Rivka) into the tent of his mother Sarah" - Rashi says she was like Sarah for as long as Sarah lived there was a light that burned from one erev Shabbos to the next, etc.

the pasuk continues, "And he took Rivka and she became his wife."

when Yitzchok saw that Rivka had his mother's qualities, one of which was that her candles remained lit for a week, he married her.

this shows that Rivka lit Shabbos candles before she was married.

furthermore, according to Rashi, Rivka was only three years old when she married Yitzchok, nevertheless, she lit Shabbos candles.

cont. in next post

Motek

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 3:56 pm

from the same book:

to quote the Aruch Ha'Shulchan (Rabbi Yechiel Michel Epstein (1829-1907), was a posek in Lithuania, not chasidic), "... it is customary for each Jewish girl to light her own candle even when she is in her parents' home ... for this mitzva is mainly relevant to them ... each one saying a bracha upon the candles ..."

the following is a partial list of those rabbinic and chassidic families whose daughters have verified that it was their custom for even young girls to light candles:

Alter (Ger)
Friedman (Sadugera-Ruzhin)
Hager (Vizhnitz)
Halberstam (Tzanz-Bobov)
Heschel (Kupishnitz-Apter)
Karelitz (Kolel Chazon Ish)
Rokeach (Belz)
Schneerson (Lubavitch)
Shapiro (Volozhin)
Soloveitchik (Brisk)
Sonenfeld (Yerushalayim)
Twersky (Chernobel)
Weinberg (Slonim)

if the custom was widespread, why is it not so prevalent nowadays? in answering, one must remember that the upheavals and economic difficulties in the first half of the 20th century and particularly during World War I brought, in addition to the financial hardships suffered by many, a well known scarcity of candle wax. It was difficult for families to acquire two candles (and sometimes even one candle) for the lady of the house to light. This made it virtually impossible for most families to continue the custom, and the custom waned.

In the year 5735 (1975) the Lubavitcher Rebbe initiated a campaign that every Jewish girl should light a candle of her own with a bracha.

ForeverYoung
Guest

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 3:57 pm

are you (or the sefer) saying that Avraham & Yitzhak took a girl from her father's house, promiced her a marriage & than conducted a test to see if she's good engouh?!?!?!?!

I find that hard to believe

ps thanks for interesting info

Motek

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:08 pm

neither me nor the sefer

it's in Rashi

was it a test? doesn't seem like it

I think it was clear that she was destined for Yitzchok with Eliezer's test with the water.

sarahd

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:20 pm

zuncompany wrote:

I learned in sem that the reason why women stopped lighting from age three unil married was cause of the shortage in WW2. However for some reason it was not started back up when the war was over. In the 70s (I think it was than) the L. Rebbe started the neshek campaign and called on all girls from three and older to start lighting shabbos candles. Before WW2 though everyone did.

I cannot imagine this is true. I know of no one who lit candles as a child before the war, and as my mother and aunts all were alive before the war and old enough to know what they were doing, I would have heard about it, especially as the idea of girls lighting has been extensively discussed in my family.

zuncompany

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:24 pm

sarad... I could be wrong and it was WW1... ?

sara

sarahd

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:25 pm

Motek wrote:

in chapter 7 - Candle Lighting for Girls it says:

"And Yitzchok brought her (Rivka) into the tent of his mother Sarah" - Rashi says she was like Sarah for as long as Sarah lived there was a light that burned from one erev Shabbos to the next, etc.

the pasuk continues, "And he took Rivka and she became his wife."

when Yitzchok saw that Rivka had his mother's qualities, one of which was that her candles remained lit for a week, he married her.

this shows that Rivka lit Shabbos candles before she was married.

furthermore, according to Rashi, Rivka was only three years old when she married Yitzchok, nevertheless, she lit Shabbos candles.

cont. in next post

This is really funny, because when our Lubavitch neighbor was trying to convince my mother to have us girls light candles, she tried using the argument that Rivka lit when she was three, to which my mother replied, "Well, she was married." I guess our neighbor hadn't read this sefer, or she would have tried your response. BTW, Yitzchok saw that all three signs returned to Sarah's tent. That would include the cloud over the tent, which was a symbol of the laws of taharas hamishpacha that Sarah kept. According to this thesis, then, Rivka kept the laws of taharas hamishpacha before she was married. Question

sarahd

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:28 pm

zuncompany wrote:

sarad... I could be wrong and it was WW1... ?

sara

Could be. I can't argue that point, as none of my turn of the century relatives are alive any more. Confused

One thing for sure - if poverty was the reason they stopped lighting, it sure would have applied to my mother's family... LOL

proudmom

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:30 pm

[quote="ForeverYoung"]de-goldy, what is the source for your
statement?/quote]

I heard it too.

sarahd

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:39 pm

Re adding candles: It's the yekkish minhag not to add candles and to light only two..

The sefer The 39 Melachos by Rabbi Dovid Ribiat cites the Likutei Maharich, Remah and Mishna Berura as sources for the minhag to add candles for each child. He also says that women away from home light only two candles, unless a woman is visiting her parents, when she lights her normal amount of candles. Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchoso agrees with this sefer.

ForeverYoung
Guest

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 4:54 pm

thanks, sarahd Wink

Tefila

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 1:31 pm

Even though we've had a tragic loss I still light an extra shabbos candle like I did b/4, when he was physically w/h us Exclamation

IndyMom

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 4:16 pm

[quote="ForeverYoung"]

Quote:

Any other chasidim on this site????

My great grandfather (12 generations) was the Baal Shem Tov. Our family is chassidish, but we don't label ourselves with a particular group. We light candles when we get married and we add a candle for every child. We only light 2 when we are away for shabbos.

stem

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 4:29 pm

Has anyone ever heard of lighting 5 candles from the first week of marriage, and never adding for children??

My mother-in-law does that because it is a minhag from her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother etc. All my husbands aunts and great-aunts and sisters do it too.
When I got engaged my mother-in-law asked me how many will I light? I didn't understand her question because I had never heard of anyone lighting anything other than 2 (and adding for children).
Since the halacha is to follow your mothers minhag in regard to candles, I don't follow my husbands family in this case!

Rivk

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 7:14 pm

I've heard of it! Wink

I think it might have something to do with what the number five represents according to kabbala. Although I'm not sure what that is! I've also heard of some Sfardim lighting five.

stem

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 7:29 pm

Interesting, maybe we have some sfardic blood... Or maybe some great-grandmother had 3 children and since then everyone lights 5?? LOL

Rivk

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 7:32 pm

Could be, but even if it's because of a silly reason, I wouldn't tamper with a minhag. Very Happy

Sunshine

Wed, Apr 06 2005, 7:35 pm

I don't know the reason for it but my friend lights 7 every week I don't kown if she lights another one now that she had a baby. I just remember seeing a lot of candles at her house and was like wow that is a lot for one newly married women to light. She said her bubby did it and told me the reason but I forgot. If she does add for every kid and has lets say over 10 and some will be girls who will light there own. WOW!!! That is a lot of candles/light. It is good for shalom bayis! Very Happy

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