Have you ever tried to stop a intermarriage?

dandelion

Sat, Dec 25 2010, 3:44 pm

momaleh wrote:

I am reminded of an article I read about Rabbi Ilan Feldman in Atlanta, when dealing with the JCC opening on shabbos - you have to strengthen your own observance. There is nothing else to do except how that Shabbos is better than whatever they have.
I think you need to express disapproval but love no matter what to keep the doors open, or they might never come back, and go about your best loving being Jewish and showing that.

You are right. That's the beauty of this book. It helps someone who is deeply upset about a prospective intermarriage (for good reason) swallow their emotions and operate from the head. At least, that's what I got from skimming the online version. It's especially hard to hear the two contemplating intermarriage speak...they are often so flip and casual about it all, when those a little more in touch with reality know there is nothing casual about it all. Things can work out for the best, in the end, however, that is rare. I heard someone once quote that only about 5% of children from mixed marriages go on to live Jewishly. Most have such a weak connection to Yiddishkeit, it never even occurs to them.

dandelion

Sat, Dec 25 2010, 3:55 pm

freidasima wrote:

So you never know what can happen from what looks like an intermarriage. What if my father hadn't been upset enough to fly from EY to America to meet this young woman? What if he hadn't given her the third degree about her family and no one would have known that her mother was Jewish? What if they coudln't have found the first husband? What if he would have held her up financially for the get? What if the Beisdin in Los Angeles wouldn't have been so wonderful to go to his HOUSE and appoint a shaliach and do the get thing that way?

But it all happened. For real. So go know. Siatda Dishmaya.
Which, I guess, means, never give up.

Now THAT is an inspiring story. Talk about hashgacha pratit. It is beyond coincidence that this "hidden" Jew married a Jew and then another. To me this story also speaks of what Gavriel Sanders says we need in order to be less vulnerable to outside forces weakening us via intermarriage, missionaries etc. and that is connection with one another. Your father decided to be pro-active, not only pro-active, but heroically so. How many people would go to so much trouble? What a zechus your father has. We all need that kind of commitment to one another, to do whatever we possibly can to give each other chizuk.

pumpkinsbubby

Sat, Dec 25 2010, 8:32 pm

We once tried convincing a family friend not to marry a [gentile], but realized that all our efforts were to no avail. So we decided to say Tehillim with her in mind, and know that we did whatever we could.