Post nap tantrums-help!

rosey

Wed, Oct 10 2012, 11:01 pm

My 2yr old has been waking up from her nap and starts screaming (complete with gagging, hitting, or pushing if I come near and shouting get away)' for twenty to thirty minutes before I can calm her down. She refuses food or drink or even what she initially screams for (usually to go out from the moment she wakes up). This occasionally happens at night, when she's overtired caused by going to sleep too late, or just a few days with a poor sleep schedule for whatever reason, like most recently the chaggim, but before that the start of her playgroup which delayed her nap really throwing us off. She loves it there so I don't think going is the problem, but leaving early might be (see below).

Over the summer her nap jumped from 11am to around 12:15pm, but when it starts beyond that it messes up the nights. I almost always wake her, so it's not too long or late, (I aim for about 1.5 hrs, but its sometimes a bit longer if I'm delayed) but it can happen if I wake her or she gets up on her own. Play group ends at 1pm and is close to home, but I've usually picked her up at 12 to try to get her to sleep faster.

It's not every day but a lot and it's freaking me out. On occasion, like Shabbat when things are off I'll wake her up with a small frozen treat which she adores and is all smiles, but I don't want her to get used to that or expect it. She never asks for it, so I don't think that's what she's thinking normally. Oh and recently when she skipped the nap that lead to being overtired and going through this for literally hours overnight.

Please help! I can't take much more, even if it's a few times a week(I hope iy"H, not more then that!)
Thanks

gp2.0

Thu, Oct 11 2012, 12:19 am

Yep it happens when the naps are too short. What helped a little was to ignore dd for about half an hour after she woke to give her snoozing time. And I tried to give her 2 hour +++ naps. She finally dropped the daytime nap at 2.5.

She still wakes with screaming night terrors if she goes to sleep overtired (like on yt.)

rosey

Thu, Oct 11 2012, 8:13 am

Thanks for writing, hearing others with similar experiences helps me feel a little better.

Like seeker mentioned, besides for a difficult afternoon, if she doesn't nap she wakes up for hours at 12 or 1am, with all the screaming, fighting again. If I can't resolve it with a nap at some point I will try to drop it and hope after a week she gets used to it, but I really think she needs it.

But, in a crazy twist today (I posted because yesterday was so bad, so I was worried about today as well), she started her tantrum before the nap. She went into her bed like normal then started with these back and forth demands, want to change into pjs/no don't want, then want a blanket/no don't want. I've seen that before with stalling, but this time it went straight to screaming in her bed, "get out"/"close the door"/more screaming... The thing that finally stopped it was a plane passing by, she quieted (when she often acts startled by them), and I asked it she wanted to hear a nice sound. I have a machine in her room I've been using for white noise, we found the ocean, which she talks about non stop since a chol moed trip, and she agreed for me to hold her and fell asleep sitting in my lap!!!

I'm amazed, that hasn't happened since she was two months old. (after that was rocking and nursing until training Sad

to go to sleep in her bed over a year ago.). Anyway, I hope to use the sound more often for difficult moments. Sleep has always being extraordinarily hard, requiring just the right time, routine, darkness(complete), but if that was accomplished other things were often fine. She's also teething now making everything harder (forgot to mention that in the previous post). Anyway, any thoughts suggestions comments would be appreciated

Thanks again

rosey

Thu, Oct 11 2012, 8:19 am

I also don't know what to do about the play group. I'm at home and only wanted to send her a few days a week to start for the activity, which she so craves, and to get back into work and other things, but it looks like I may have to limit it so much to get her home in time for her nap, I don't know if that's a problem. She's happy to see me when I pick her up, but also seems to want to stay longer... We'll see what works as time goes on I guess.

Aribenj

Thu, Oct 11 2012, 2:10 pm

I've seen that with some of my kids. I ended up just letting them wake up on their own. Yeah, they'd be cranky at first, but I'd ignore them until they got over it. Usually, they were just still half asleep. Once their crying and yelling and shaking the crib turned into just "moooommmy!!!!!" I would run in with a huge smile and give them a big hug.

Then again, my kids slept in a crib until they were 3.5 so I guess it's different if they sleep in a bed...

amother

Sun, Oct 21 2012, 1:31 pm

Aribenj wrote:

I have the exact same issue with my 2.5 yo. But like Aribenj said, I also don't go near them until the screaming turns into a call for mommy or daddy. Maybe try that and then your little one will be ready to come out and play. (Doesn't always work though!)

mummiedearest

Sun, Oct 21 2012, 2:05 pm

my kids can get very cranky very fast if they are slightly dehydrated. at that age, my first suggestion is to make sure she has enough to drink before naptime. if she's slightly dehydrated before bedtime (and it's hard to see when she is) another hour and a half will make her REALLY cranky. also, being woken up too soon will have that effect on some kids.