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Forum
-> Working Women
amother
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:33 pm
I have never worked full time before but have the opportunity to work 35 hrs per week. It would involve leaving my 4 month old infant with a babysitter full time. I've left my other children with babysitters but never for some many hours on a long term basis. I'm looking to hear from mothers who have done this in the past, to hear what, if any long term affect it had on their children.
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shirachadasha
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:42 pm
I left my dc with a babysitter for more hours than that. I don't know of any negative effect. Baruch Hashem, we have a loving, special relationship.
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joystock
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:42 pm
I leave my newborn for about 33 hours a week. No, it's not ideal but it is necessary for me to work since we need 2 incomes to support our large family kah. We wouldn't manage financially if I would cut back my hours, and we live pretty simply without too many frills. I would suggest that you do extensive research on any caregiver to make sure they take care of their charges responsibly and with a lot of love and warmth. Also focus on the time that you do have with your baby to connect and bond with him/her. This applies to older children as well. I did this with all my kids and they are all more than ok!
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joystock
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:42 pm
I leave my newborn for about 33 hours a week. No, it's not ideal but it is necessary for me to work since we need 2 incomes to support our large family kah. We wouldn't manage financially if I would cut back my hours, and we live pretty simply without too many frills. I would suggest that you do extensive research on any caregiver to make sure they take care of their charges responsibly and with a lot of love and warmth. Also focus on the time that you do have with your baby to connect and bond with him/her. This applies to older children as well. I did this with all my kids and they are all more than ok!
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tzimip
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:48 pm
I've left 2 of my 4 kids for 35 hours a week. They seem to be okay (they are now 8 and 6). My one word of advice is make sure you are leaving them with someone warm and someone that you trust.
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gold21
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:50 pm
The main thing is that the caregiver is attentive and loving.
If you're sending your child out of the house to a group setting, make sure it is small group and it is not chaotic.
If you're having a nanny in your home, carefully check references and preferably install a Nanny Cam.
That's the main thing.
Good luck!
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MaBelleVie
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 8:52 pm
Yes I've done it and I think my kids turned out really well *because* of it. But I have a thing that I want the baby to have her undivided attention, so I will not send to a group.
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amother
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 9:10 pm
Do you need to be working? It's not clear from your post. If you need the money then you do what you gotta do and follow the other posters advice about getting the right babysitter etc. . .
however, if you don't need to, I think it's better for the kids to stay home. My kids unfortunately don't see me for most of the day and some of them are VERY attached the rest of the day. I think (hope!) they'll turn out fine, but the guilt will stay with me forever. But, like I said, the kids will probably be fine
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nyer1
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 9:30 pm
left my 3 month old for 40 hours a week. people do it. find a loving and caring sitter that you trust. my toddler and I BH have a loving relationship and I know there was NEVER a moment where he wondered who the primary caregiver was.
thank god for shabbos, right??!!
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amother
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Sat, Dec 13 2014, 9:49 pm
I went back to work part time when my oldest was six weeks old and fulltime when she was abou six months old. With the younger kids I went back full time after my six-week checkup. 40 hours a week with a sitter didn't seem to do any of them any harm. If anything they were better off because Mrs. Patience I'm not.
there was never any question in the kids' minds who was their mother and we have a perfectly normal relationship. Naturally I suffered maternal guilt but I think guilt is a part of mothering no matter what you do.
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