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-> Parenting our children
amother
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Tue, Apr 28 2015, 1:56 pm
My daughter is a wonderful eleven year old girl. She is pretty well adjusted and generally happy, has friends and is a good kid. She is just preoccupied with thinking that she is fat. She is average for her age - totally not fat. But whenever she eats a lot, or tries something on or even just gets dressed for the day, she points out her hips (pretty non existent) and stomach (she has somewhat of a stomach if you look closely but most ppl are not). I hate that she thinks she is fat.. and consequently not pretty. I don't want this to turn into something scary one day like a disorder Chas Vshalom.. But all of our attempts to persuade her that she is pretty and thin seem to fall on deaf ears. Any advice for me?
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Ruchel
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Tue, Apr 28 2015, 2:39 pm
Calculate her bmi with her and show her it's "normal"
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Stars
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Tue, Apr 28 2015, 2:58 pm
Is she your oldest? Welcome to the world of teenagers!
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Scrabble123
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Tue, Apr 28 2015, 3:02 pm
amother wrote: | My daughter is a wonderful eleven year old girl. She is pretty well adjusted and generally happy, has friends and is a good kid. She is just preoccupied with thinking that she is fat. She is average for her age - totally not fat. But whenever she eats a lot, or tries something on or even just gets dressed for the day, she points out her hips (pretty non existent) and stomach (she has somewhat of a stomach if you look closely but most ppl are not). I hate that she thinks she is fat.. and consequently not pretty. I don't want this to turn into something scary one day like a disorder Chas Vshalom.. But all of our attempts to persuade her that she is pretty and thin seem to fall on deaf ears. Any advice for me? |
I would stop persuading her. Do you speak about your weight a lot? She may be getting it from there. Either way, telling that she is skinny is: 1. offering her attention for discussing her weight, and 2. showing her that being skinny is something to strive for. You can make a comment like, "you are a healthy, beautiful girl," and move on. Of course if you think that the issue is more serious and persists then consult a professional, but trying to reassure her of her skinniness is comparable to reassuring someone with OCD that their doors are locked (it's not about the doors at all). Just make your daughter have true self trust and self esteem and feel secure.
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