half a banana | Imamother

Helani

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 12:14 pm

We went away to a hotel in catskills for a few days. It's in a town with what seems to be mostly chassidishe population in the bungalows. Me and my husband take a walk and stop by a store in town.
The owner has a freezer full of cholov israel ice-cream which he shows to us. Then as we're paying he starts telling us how we seem nicer than the "other ppl like us"---meaning the chassidishe jews who stop by his store. Telling us they talk to him like he is stupid, not being polite (I think he was Indian). He tells us how the day before a lady came in, took a banana, and asked him if he could cut it in two and sell her a half, cause she doesn't want a whole one.
We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The behavior of ppl definitely created a chillul Hashem...but the half of banana story was just too funny. Smile

cindy324

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 12:50 pm

It's a sad sad situation that a lot of frum Yidden have created. A couple years ago we started going to hotels in NJ with our group of friends. It was nice and dandy until other yidden started to follow suit. All of a sudden , there were dirty diapers left on the lobby couches, a mess left in the common area after they had their shabbos meal, the men being nasty , rude, sarcastic, thinking they sound cool, to the hotel staff, treating the housekeeping staff like their personal slaves, etc. etc. and these are just things that I personally witnessed. The hotels have come to hate us all, even though I have nothing to do with these people. I always sign up for membership in a particular chain's reward program which is supposed to entitle me to late checkout, free upgrades and all. Needless to say, I don't even bother asking for late checkout anymore, because I always get the same answer, as for upgrades, forgetaboutit! "Sorry, we don't have any 2 bedrooms left" then I log on to heir website and see all the availability they have. If I wanna be treated like any other guest I have to take my business to Connecticut, but who wants to drive for 2 and a half hours on a friday afternoon?

WHY , OH WHY DO FRUM , G-D FEARING JEWS ACT LIKE THIS???

chocolate moose

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 1:16 pm

I can only think that we, as frum people, are a lot more stretched & a lot busier than other ppl. We have bigger families, more guests, and Shabbos and yomtov to prepare for, besides more weddings and such. I don't excuse ppl, you undertand, just trying to understand why they do what they do.

Some kids aren't being taught manners perhaps b/c their parents just don't have time - they're taught to keep a yarmulka on their head, not to touch muktza, etc., but anything extra is just that - extra.

I don't know that many non Jews well, but I can think of, lehavdil, the non frum ppl I come into contact with a lot - my sister, the lawyer in my office, my BIL - they are just never in a hurry. They aren't running after little kids, making Shabbos, etc.

cindy324

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 1:47 pm

I can certainly understand that CM, but we're talking about basic human decency. These same people wouldn't leave garbage all over their homes, they wouldn't treat another yiddishe store keeper with such disrespect, so why act like this to the outside world. Why , for once can we hear from non jews how they admire us for our manners, and respectfullness.

Pickle Lady

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 1:59 pm

It is really pathetic.

I also have been in public places where chassidishe people were and were totally embarressed at the way they were acting.

Half a banana, were they really serious? Non-jews joke that we are cheap, half of a banana is super cheap.

brooklyn

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 2:17 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I can only think that we, as frum people, are a lot more stretched & a lot busier than other ppl.

Where is your proof to that. Just because we have more kids and make Shabbos doesn't mean that others are not busy.

chocolate moose wrote:

Some kids aren't being taught manners perhaps b/c their parents just don't have time - they're taught to keep a yarmulka on their head, not to touch muktza, etc., but anything extra is just that - extra.

Being a parent is not just doing the act and popping them out, it is about raising a child in the proper way and that includes teaching them the basics like respect for other people even dare I say it...........to non jews.

I

chocolate moose

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 3:47 pm

cindy324 wrote:

These same people wouldn't leave garbage all over their homes, they wouldn't treat another yiddishe store keeper with such disrespect, so why act like this to the outside world.

Cindy, maybe their homes are chazzer shtals. maybe they only clean up for shabbos.

chocolate moose

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 3:48 pm

[quote="brooklyn"]

chocolate moose wrote:

I can only think that we, as frum people, are a lot more stretched & a lot busier than other ppl.

Where is your proof to that. Just because we have more kids and make Shabbos doesn't mean that others are not busy.

I'm trying to judge them dan lechoz zchus.

chocolate moose

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 3:48 pm

cindy324 wrote:

These same people wouldn't leave garbage all over their homes, they wouldn't treat another yiddishe store keeper with such disrespect, so why act like this to the outside world.

Cindy, maybe their homes are chazzer shtals. maybe they only clean up for shabbos.

greenfire

Fri, Jul 06 2007, 4:46 pm

well I certainly do not like the way others are treated by the frum and supposedly g-d fearing and definately a chillul Hashem ...

as for the banana - it depends on the context ... I could see it as a joke ... I would even make a joke like that ... only it would be a real joke to anybody ... not specifically of any race or gender or grouping ...

hey and talk about slobs ... I am a slob ... but I would never ever think to leave a mess for anybody anywhere ...

creativemommyto3

Sat, Jul 07 2007, 2:31 pm

Do you want to know what I think is pathetic? I think it's pathetic that these Indians are judging an entire population for some rude ppl. They also like to exaggerate things done by Jews.

Every kind of ppl has bad middos. It is really sad when it is Jews. We jews as a whole have to work on ourselves. To say that chassidishe ppl are the only rude ones is totally not true. You will find obnoxious yeshivish, lubavitch , MO etc. I think it's a chillul Hashem when us as Jews don't look inside ourselves to see what we can improve before you go an criticise someone else. Yes, this incident is very upseting , but all you are doing about it is saying lashon hara and not looking inside yourself to see what you can do.

Atali

Sat, Jul 07 2007, 9:06 pm

Quote:

, however do you realize that you were just judging all indians the same way he was judging all Jews? It would have been better to say that it was pathetic that that Indian was judging all Jews. It is important to mention such incidents to prevent a future chillul Hashem, but we shouldn't fall into the "self-hating Jew" trap in the process.

creativemommyto3

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 12:47 am

Atali wrote:

Quote:

agreed.

. I should have been more careful with my words.

Helani

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 4:32 pm

arita, I wasn't trying to speak loshon hara against anyone-wherefore no town name. as for chassideshe jews part, that's just who I noticed around that town. For all I know the lady could've been yeshivish, sephardi, or anyone else.
I just found the half a banana story ridiculous to the point of being amusing, and I wanted to remind ppl to behave with derech eretz everywhere, even on vacation.

rosehill

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:34 pm

Quote:

I think it's pathetic that these Indians are judging an entire population for some rude ppl. They also like to exaggerate things done by Jews.

This is why my mother taught me, and I try to teach my own kids, that when we look obviously frum, we have to be EXTRA CAREFUL how we behave, because people will think All Jews Are Like That. Every interaction we have when we look Jewish is an opportunity for a Kiddush Hashem, or CH"V a CHilul Hashem.