PSA to teachers | Imamother

Ema of 5

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 7:34 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Why are you assuming they are auto and generic?
Afaik- our school sends emails with a purpose- important schedule info, newsletter with info,
But your idea of a personal email or text is a good one. Perhaps a phone call in the beginning of the week/month from the assistant in lower grades, would be a good idea.

I believe she was talking about the emails with the newsletter and that kind of stuff. I agree with her. Let the teachers (or a secretary) send out an email each month with a list of supplies that will be needed that month, and when they will be needed.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 7:52 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

Good idea. Do you think an email is better than a note? And what about parents who don’t have internet, they do exist. Perhaps both a written note and email.

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am begging you, please, if you need something brought into school by your students, please, please, please give us parents some notice! If you send a note home asking for something for the next day that we may or may not have at home already then you may be causing major problems. Not everyone can immediately run out to the store after school to buy the assigned item.

Thank you!

I got so fed up I approached the teachers only to find out that in some cases my kids were told days before but only gave me a few hours notice or my kids volunteered to bring in some obscure item we would never just have around the house, telling the teacher, “my mom doesn’t mind at all.” Of course sometimes it is in fact just the teachers being inconsiderate.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:41 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Thank you for proving my point.

singleagain

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:44 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Just to answer these points. If the kids are volunteering their parents, and I'm sure I did that to mine. Perhaps the teacher should double check with the parent "hi, your kid said you wouldn't mind/could bring in xyx. Is that alright with you?"

amother

Aqua

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:58 pm

I was talking to my mother about this recently.

How on earth do teachers think it's reasonable to ask a class of 4th graders, "What can you bring to the siyum?" And then literally plan the siyum around that!

IF they would ask kids to find out that NIGHT what they can bring in, that makes sense. But how can it be fair to have kids make promises on behalf of their parents???

It was even worse when we had a class barbecue, and we volunteered IN CLASS what we would bring, and everyone was relying on us to bring hot dogs, hamburgers, buns etc. AND THIS WAS IN A SMALL TOWN WHERE NONE OF THIS COULD BE BOUGHT LOCALLY!

Pretty much all "bring in supplies" is a headache for mothers who are already juggling many things. I think teachers should think long and hard before expecting any supplies, keep in mind where they can be purchased (only a specific store?) and for how much, and ALWAYS check with parents before allowing students to commit.

Notsobusy

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 9:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I did mention it to the teacher very diplomatically but I figured it was worth discussing more globally.

In this case it was a Shabbos Ima type deal, with the note coming home Thursday afternoon after I had already shopped for Shabbos. This was right after Succos, so I know that the note couldn't have been sent home in DD's backpack anytime sooner, but the teacher could have texted me the day before at least. The Shabbos Ima schedule must have already been set for weeks already. Running back out on a Thursday evening when trying to deal with homework, dinner, baths, bedtime, and cooking for Shabbos is just not easily doable, but disappointing a preschool aged child who is excited to be Shabbos Ima isn't good either.

When you have a week like last week, the teacher should be the Shabbos Ima herself or just skip it. It's inexcusable to give parents an extra job in such a week.

When I had my third baby, my two older kids were both Shabbos Mommy that week. I don't know what their teachers were thinking, two different teachers,not the same school. Not only didn't we have time to make extra shopping trips that week, but my kids weren't even in school on Friday because they went to my mother for Shabbos.

Teachers have to put a little thought into these things.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 9:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Argh! I've been in that situation too. Getting the note on Thursday after my shopping is done. Sometimes you happen to have something in the house that will work, but sometimes you don't. BH in my kids preschool they don't have a shabbos mommy on those short or challenging weeks, and morah provides the nosh herself.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:26 am

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Wow I totally forgot about this. I also went to a small oot school. My mother taught us to only volunteer soda or paper goods lol bc that was cheapest and she did not want to bother with snacks or anything requiring a stop other than Shoprite

amother

Amber

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:52 am

When I was a preschool teacher, principal only allowed shabbos mommy notes with nosh needed to be sent home on Wednesday for Friday so moms shouldn't have to provide that after they do their shopping.

I myself had now after doing my shopping my dgtr came home from school with the note.

Being that I was a mom already when I was a teacher, I tried to be considerate of the moms.

I brought the carrots, apple, honey, jelly fish on my own for Rosh Hashana party, knowing that Erev yt moms don't need that headache.

Some parties where everyone was included, it was voluntary if you want to contribute, whatever you want to bring is fine.

same with dress ups,
let's say for Wedding for parsha, whoever wants to dress up, whatever they want to be, no specific you the kallah etc. Rest of girls who didn't bring any dress ups, I dressed them up in school on my own.

Also no paint/clay on Fri after girls are bathed on Thu night.

No glitter on crowns that you can't get out of hair etc

cbsp

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 10:56 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

You do know that there will always be the one or two parents who say they never got anything or forgot and then come on here to complain? Right? You can never win.

I'm struggling to understand your all-or-nothing perspective.

Do you also not assign homework or tests because invariably someone won't perform up to par?

Why is this about winning?

chipmunks

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:03 pm

When it's for ima/abba shel Shabbat, there should be a schedule in advance. We've been given what were definitely first notices on Thurs., which I did not necessarily get from my kids and/or my random searches through their tiks until obviously after we already got home and were not planning on leaving again for the night.

One time a gannenet who was actually very thoughtful and organized and did give us a schedule apologetically approached me on a Thurs. and asked if it was okay with me if my little one could fill in as ima shel Shabbat for the scheduled girl, who would be absent the next day. To my pleasant surprise, she explained that to make up for the late notice, the gannenet would provide the treat for everyone and my daughter could just be the one to pass it around as though she had brought it. Who could say no to that?

And here is my vent. When it is a note in my kid's planner for glue sticks (dated the day I see it), and school ends at 4:30, we don't live 5 minutes away, by the time I see the note it's after 5/5:30 and we're busy with dinner, various kids' needs, and of course that homework you also (quite reasonably) expect her to be ready with tomorrow, the stores don't open until after school begins the next day, and you know what, I just sent 4 glue sticks two weeks ago plus whatever I sent at the beginning of the year and we had the chagim in there so what is she doing, eating them?, then no, please do not give my child a hard time and/or write me an annoyed-sounding "reminder" note the next day with words like "urgent" or "ASAP." Yes, I keep a stock of glue sticks, etc. in the closet just in case, but every now and then we're caught off-guard with a supply that's out of stock or we never expected to need again, especially so soon.

I grew up with parents who were elementary-school educators. I know what you go through, and you don't get paid enough for it, that's for sure. Just please remember that we're human, too. And this vent is not about a one-time occurrence, or even just one child or teacher.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 6:22 pm

I'm a preschool teacher. I send home a shabbos imma and abba schedule at the beginning of the year. I also wrote it in my weekly newsletter who would be the imma and abba for the following week. And I emailed the parents on Wednesday. And I have it posted outside my classroom so the parents who drop off see it.

One week, I forgot to email Wednesday because it was hectic in my house and it slipped my mind. I emailed Thursday instead. The mom asked me the following week if she can get a reminder earlier. I apologized and said of course. Then she asked if I could send it Monday. I said I would send it to her on Monday.

Then I told her it's also always written in the newsletter from the previous week. And she said to me, "You mean I have to read that?"

I was so livid. I spend hours on Wednesday and Thursday nights (not exaggerating, my computer is slow) writing a newsletter full of pictures and small blurbs about what we do.

Parents, I will send home information in advance but I'm begging you to please read it if you receive it and don't ignore it!

And yes, as a mom, I hate when my kid says he has a siyum the following day. It's always right after I've gone shopping and have nothing to send him. Otherwise my kids teachers are usually great about telling us stuff in advance.