Coming to terms with sharing a name

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Apr 15 2023, 3:08 pm

We named our dd after dh's grandmother. She had a secular name and no-one was clear what her jewish name actually was (if she had one). Each of us has named after her, but chosen a similar name we all liked, so think Chana, Chava, Chaya etc.
I was also reluctant to name my child the same name as their cousins. But Hashem made me forget about my hesitations about doing that until after dh named dd in shul. And then it was too late. They each have a slightly different name/nickname and I've gotten used to it.
Op, I totally get you, especially if you think you won't have another chance to name a child. I would look at what nickname you could use for this name, or even adding another name if that would help.

amother

Gold

Sat, Apr 15 2023, 4:04 pm

This is a personal matter. It either bothers you or it doesn't. We would be so excited if more family members (great grands) had the Grandpa or grandma's name to carry along. Don't worry about what others are doing.

amother

Whitesmoke

Sat, Apr 15 2023, 6:41 pm

I didn't read all the replies, but my 2 cents:

My daughter is named after my grandmother, a very unusual and beautiful name. She already has 2 cousins with this name, and please God may have more in time as more siblings have baby daughters.

There's something very special in being rooted to your extended family, to your ancestors, in this way. I love that my daughter shares this special name with her cousins.

We gave my princess a beautiful second name, also unusual as it happens, that's all her own. The combination of family tradition and individual was just right for us.

Perhaps you can change your thinking around sharing a name. Your daughter might love 'matching' her cousins.

amother

Amaryllis

Sat, Apr 15 2023, 7:08 pm

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....96850

If it helps, I'm the OP of this thread. Slightly different situation because we aren't related, but just I wanted to validate that your feelings aren't completely irrational even if we all know that in reality it's a small "problem" and hardly a crisis. I wish I could update that I now see how beautiful and special it is for there to be two people sharing a name, but I still do find it a bit irritating and if it was up to me, I'd choose for it to not be this way.

However! I can look back on when I made this post and accept that it is SUCH a small inconsequential issue to have, and it has zero impact on anything in my life. My son is amazing and incredible, I love him so much, I feel beyond blessed to have him, and I can fully admit that on the scale of things that matter, the name thing does not actually even make the list. I completely get your feelings but hopefully it helps to hear from the "other side" now.

amother

Oxfordblue

Sat, Apr 15 2023, 11:18 pm

Almost all of my kids share names with their cousins (not all first cousins), 3 with the same last name as well.

Two boys that are close in age with the same full name (and same building address) love it and it gives them a special bond. It does get a bit confusing though!

My niece that shares a name with my young daughter also loves it and feels connected to her because of it (though they don’t share the last name).