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Forum -> Children's Health

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amother

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:22 pm

My 11 year old is very intense. If you tell,her something it has to be done. I used to think it was a trust issue but I don't think so. If I say I'm going to the grocery and tell her I will take her with me. If I don't. She starts kvetching that I said I was going. She also eats very little like a few bites of meal food. Then is hungry and wants cookies and snacks. She also complains that we have to little snacks in the house. When her siblings don't even get a chance she finishes it all up. If she knows I have a few unhealthier options she asks for that until it's used up. Like she wants a grill every night. She only eats the hot dogs. But that she could eat a lot of. She wants frozen pizza every night for supper and noodle soups. I have to put a limit because these options are pricy, and treats for everyone else.Our family went out plenty of times for ice cream and slurppees and soft drinks. She orderd the largest size. But she claims she didn't have enough. She wants slurpees when it's hot and slurpees to celebrate end of school, beginning of school...we are in a tight budget.

happy7

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:30 pm

Can she earn any of her own money?
It is definitely unhealthy.
But, maybe if she has her own money she can budget for the extras

amother

Copper

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:33 pm

You need to set some limits.

But snacks that are more in between. Not total junk but not apples. When you go out, you set the limit. Everyone get a small, one scoop, up to three dollars, whatever the limit is.

It sounds like something is lacking in her life and she is putting that into controlling her food. I think for her, helping to cook and grocery shop could be helpful. She gets some control and some attention.

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:37 pm

Those could be signs of ASD with ARFID. Has she been evaluated?

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:39 pm

Yes, parents should limit junky snacks.

Maybe 2 junk a day for school.

But nosh is locked up and only healthy snacks
Like fruit, nuts, cut up veggies & hummus.

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:46 pm

Of course she ordered the largest ice cream since this is what she wants. Where are you in the game? You could have told her a medium or small ice cream is sufficient.

#BestBubby

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 1:59 pm

Kids will not eat healthy supper,

If they know they can eat nosh after supper.

amother

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 2:05 pm

I agree with you copper. She does bake with me occasionally. I bake shabbos treats about every second week and give my kids turns. Bu her turn she reminds everyone she made the goods, licks the batter and eats it gast up. She hates making actual food she considers it boring She needs some control. 100%. I do set limits and I'm limited so she feels out of control in that sense. I never took her to an upscale restaurant, I never bought her the large razzle. I told her she can't have such a large one but gave in to a medium. And I hate doing that because it raises the bar for her siblings that are close in age to her. Honestly I can't afford an allowance and unfortunately in general she does get a lot of what she wants. And some I really sympathize with. This year it was a neck fan, speedo brand goggles, a new board game. Somehow we put all this in a separate category than quick food trip to the pizza store that sometimes helps my sanity. Or a quick slurpee when we are out shopping and forgot drinks at home. I'm not good at budgeting so slurpees for a couple dollars is cheaper than the neck fan that everyone will want . Except will she be OK with warm water the next time that happens or a cold water for $2.75

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 2:27 pm

Is she rigid with other things? Have there been times, e.g. traveling, when her preferred foods were not available and she had to eat something else? If so, what did she do then?

amother

Snowflake

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 3:24 pm

My kids are like this. Needing to follow through on everything and also obsessed with junk food to the exclusion of normal food are both ocd's for them. They have pandas. Treating brain inflammation helps. I absolutely set limits on junk because they are not able to self regulate because of how their brains are wired.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Aug 24 2023, 3:51 am

#BestBubby wrote:

Kids will not eat healthy supper,

If they know they can eat nosh after supper.

THIS

amother

Periwinkle

Thu, Aug 24 2023, 6:07 am

Your daughter sounds like my high functioning autistic son. Very very hard to set boundaries with this type of kid. I commiserate.

amother

Violet

Thu, Aug 24 2023, 8:59 am

amother Snowflake wrote:

Mine too.

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