Is there any halachic backing to not covering hair?

amother

Lemonlime

Sat, Aug 12 2023, 11:18 pm

I stopped wearing a sheitel years ago. I just don’t understand it, and my husband doesn’t appreciate it. He feels like if I’m gonna cover my hair with someone else’s hair, I might as well spare myself the trouble and uncover.

But I do wear tichels. Don’t love them and constantly have to reinvent myself, try to look pretty again, but it feels right to be covered and I do believe it brings bracha to my family.

Was it Rav Chaim who said, “If you want to know the yiras shamayim of a woman, look at the way she covers her hair.”

amother

White

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 9:17 am

The purpose is to cover my hair. It doesn't matter what I cover it with. After 3.5 years in only tichels, slouchy gats and snoods, I started sometimes wearing a wig again and it felt great. Is wig wearing a weird religious thing? Maybe - I do see that pov, for sure!

But Orthodox Jews aren't the only culture to wear wigs. Not by a long shot. The truth is that a wig is nicer looking than a tichel or hat, and very easy. A nice wig gives a woman a good feeling of femininity that I personally can't get from mishpachat.

The halacha is to cover our hair. We don't cover "to be tznius", we cover to cover.

I just shaved my head because I was going crazy worh my sensory issues and my hair😅 It's a struggle for a lot of women❤️ But to me, this mitzvah is so crucial and meaningful ... and when I am struggling, I go to learn more about why it is important. Perhaps you should turn your attention to understanding the importance rather than looking for escape routes.

Btw, what you do is between you and Hashem, and you'll get no judgment from me💗 I know plenty of MO women who don't cover. But for me, it's not an option any more than leaving the cover off the sefer Torah.

amother

Peachpuff

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 9:54 am

amother Red wrote:

Exactly. And men can't say Shema in front of an Erva. Therefore, in the case described, hair is not an Erva.

It’s obviously a different kind of erva than breasts for example, otherwise single girls would also have to cover. It doesn’t mean it’s not considered erva at all, just that bedieved this type of erva may not invalidate the Shema according to some opinions.

Ema of 5

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 10:16 am

amother White wrote:

Great explanation! I just want to add that it is only the hair on our head which needs to be covered, hence the reason why we don’t have to cover our hair after it’s been cut, and why we can cover with someone else’s (and sometimes even our own!) hair.

amother

White

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 10:49 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

Yes, thank you! I was just explaining this to someone erev Shabbos. It's not that we can't show hair, or wear hair, or have hair - it's that we need to cover our hair that is growing from our heads. As I recall, it has to do with the hair being connected to the source? My memory is failing me😅

We could totally give our hair to someone else to wear in a wig! It all makes a lot more sense if you learn all the technical details😊

Ema of 5

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 11:02 am

amother White wrote:

Yes, that’s what I learned as well- it is the fact that is it connected to our head. Once it is no longer connected to our head, it loses its “status” so to speak, which is why there are those who allow women to cover fully or partially with their own hair- meaning make a wig fully from their own hair, or a blended wig.

amother

White

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 11:09 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

I remember learning that is was best for a woman not to make a wig of her own hair (but I don't remember why?), but if she had no other choice, it was okay to do it, and if she had the custom to wear a wig, better to use her own hair to make a wig than to go without a wig.

But obviously displaying that hair is not at issues, because it's not connected to the source. Something about kelipah🤔 Now more on my list of things I used to know that I need to brush up on😂💘

tichellady

Sun, Aug 13 2023, 11:17 am

tryinghard wrote:

When I learned the topic in (a RWMO) high school, we were taught a different perspective: I cover my hair for myself - I need to have the constant awareness of “I am a married woman”. So it’s irrelevant if anyone else can tell, it’s a geder for me.

This perspective makes no sense to me but I know people find different things satisfying. I don’t need a reminder on my head that I’m married

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 12:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t want to cover my hair.
Tichels are uncomfortable and make me feel so weird in them.
Sheitels are in my opinion the most idiotic religious invention ever. Go figure covering hair with hair.

Most of my family don’t cover their hair, some of them are fully orthodox though.
I don’t cover most of the time but I still cover “officially” when I’m out and about in frum places.
It makes me feel like an two faced liar.
I want to stop with the covering. I only need reasons to believe it’s ok.

I’m the same way even up to the point that I feel like I’m a different person when I need to cover my hair and then I feel like myself when I can just not think about it.

I hate the idea of shaitels, my sister in law wears a long shiny one and yet she’s more tznius?

I feel pressured when I’m in certain circles and then I feel like a fraud because I’m not covering for god or myself it’s just to please other people which is the worst

PinkFridge

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 3:04 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

I feel pressured when I’m in certain circles and then I feel like a fraud because I’m not covering for god or myself it’s just to please other people which is the worst

Try reframing: You're doing a chesed of accommodating people due to their cultural preferences. Real v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. Tizku l'mitzvos.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 3:06 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Try reframing: You're doing a chesed of accommodating people due to their cultural preferences. Real v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. Tizku l'mitzvos.

No that’s false
If I’m in a Shul it’s for hashem
But covering for other people is wrong!

Trademark

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 3:09 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

You're not a fraud, you still have the mitzvah even if you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

PinkFridge

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 3:10 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

No that’s false
If I’m in a Shul it’s for hashem
But covering for other people is wrong!

Are you fooling them into thinking you cover all the time, or just covering for their comfort level?

If someone were visiting a different religious culture altogether, might they make some accommodations that wouldn't hurt them?

You're being very emphatic so I assume I'm not seeing it clearly.

amother

White

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 5:19 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

Whenever a woman covers her hair, she is doing a great mitzvah. Every time. Even if you do it for others comfort, it's a huge mitzvah for you! But I totally understand as there are other aspects of frumkeit that I feel similarly ... trapped in a struggle with❤️

It does make you feel like a different person, and I learned that was part of the purpose - to make you more aware that you represent more than just yourself as a married woman. Thinking of it this way really helped me a lot when I was struggling with physical discomfort and general agravation with covering my hair.