Do you think our schools have gone overboard with the rules?

mha3484

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:20 pm

No its not reasonable and my school only makes rules for how you dress on their premises. My point was that I agree we send to school for more then just the academics and that we want to also instill the values amother wandflower laid out in our kids. BUT if the rule book is so onerous I think I would it would have the opposite effect. So there needs to be a middle ground.

Last edited by mha3484 on Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:29 pm

Chickensoupprof wrote:

You know but it gives a feeling you should look over your shoulder because someone of school can be watching you, so let's say DH likes running, it is a warm summer evening DH ran 7,5 K and decides to stop at a grocery to get an ice pop when he is done, principal sees it and you are getting called. How is that fare? It again creates a monolithic culture of Yiddishkeit where only externals are important which gives stress and teaches children that it is better to wear a black hat then to be a mentch.

It's fair because that is the school rules and you knew it going in. Don't like it, don't send to our school.

And of course the the school teaches about more than just dress and externals! That is just one example. I'm sure if they caught a father dressed with long dark pants and black hat but he was at the movies or whatever, you would also get a call.

Kids are not stupid. They understand that just because a person walks the walk and dresses the part, it doesn't automatically mean they are a good person. OTOH, yes dressing dignified and in accordance with our schools standard is still important. They don't cancel eachother out.

GLUE

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 1:11 pm

Chickensoupprof wrote:

They even try to make a law here in the Netherlands that students in high school should not have their phones in class because it is too distracting they also try to filter the computers you are not allowed to go on Social Media in the school computers.

This is not a new thing in many public schools in the US the students have to leave there cell phones in their locker the whole day. If it comes out it's taken away (officially)

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 3:07 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

You are right, they have nothing to do with education. But we don't send our kids to school just for the education (although I'm sure plenty people do, and that's perfectly fine).

The school also teaches them a way of life, gives them a geshmack for yiddishkeit and learning, teaches them about self dignity, respect and other values etc. They are our partners in raising our children with the values we want. And yes, mode of dress is one of these values amongst other things.

The school works HARD to instill their values in the children and they don't want the family to undo everything they teach at school.

So if the school you are sending to, the general you really, has the values that you want your child to have/learn, the rules should be your values as well.
And if they are not and have no value to you, why send to that school?
My child goes to a school with a wonderful education. The teachers are all wonderful. But I am sending her there because the education and the way it is taught is what she needs. The teachers are from our walk of life so by default they share our values. But there are no crazy rules that are added and added.
And so again, if you dont share the values of the school you are sending your child to, and by default, any rules they may have, it makes no sense at all to be sending there.

amother

Wandflower

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 3:27 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

We personally do share the schools values and yes, we do value the rules, even the "crazy" ones. We understand they are kind of a means to an end. Like they may seem crazy when looked at by themselves, but when put in context, they make sense. It's kind of hard to explain, but basically It's just one small part of a larger picture. The larger picture is the type of person they want your child to be when they leave the school.

I agree with you, I don't understand why people send to these schools if they don't share its values. I guess that's my whole point on this thread.