Need help budgeting

mom!

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:03 pm

I’m just coming out of that situation bH bH a thousand times.
We too, we’re bH used to a very different lifestyle. But here is how we bH bH bH got out of debt.
Zero spending. Like zero. I budgeted a small amount for miscellaneous and everything else just waited.
Once I changed my outlook and learnt to make do with what I was able to find in the house, I really saved significant money. (Obviously yea diapers once your out, you will need to be buy more. That’s where the very small amount of miscellaneous money went to)
Food was extremely budgeted. I learnt to stretch meals. And hide my skimping so my kids wouldn’t know. Some times more successful than others. Try to do it with a smile, they’ll notice much less. (Your own sanity on the other hand….)

Get invited out for shabbosim. Saves a ton.
Buy groceries in Walmart. I learnt this from imamother.

I just stopped spending. Full stop.

BH now I can fill up on gas and still breathe. Thank You Hashem.

Wishing you a complete yeshua!

amother

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:17 pm

mom! wrote:

Thanks for posting this, I really feel encouraged!!

mom!

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:32 pm

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

Good for you mom! and B"H you are in a place where you can breath a bit.
Can you tell us more how you stretched meals and other food shopping/preparing tricks?

Gonna start by saying that all this was just my part and Hashem brought this to the finish line.
Once a week grocery shopping with ONLY what’s needed for the next 7 days. Literally. Hard to think of specifics right now but literally what was absolutely needed and NOTHING else.
Make a list based on weekly sales and DONT but anything not on the list.
Big one-don’t take kids shopping with you!!

My kids are younger than OP but I learnt it’s ok to say oh we finished all the yogurts? Oh gam zu Tovah, mommy will imyH buy more when she goes shopping. Come would you rather cereal? Ect

Chopped meat can stretch really far.

Idk if this can work for OP as mentioned my kids are younger but: milchig/parve for supper 1-2 times a week. Scrambled eggs with toast(soup now in winter) penna Al a vodka, pitta pizza, pizza wraps ect (keep in mind, we were used to buying takeout often, we were forced to adapt and bH everyone survived.) I’m sharing this so others can know it is possible.

I’ll try to think of more.

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:38 pm

It's funny, dh and I have never been well-off and probably never will be, at least based on the jobs we currently have. And many of the things on this thread that are viewed as non-negotiable are things I've never done, or haven't for a long time. But I can understand it would be a big deal if you're not used to the mindset of saying no to things.

Once we had several boys who needed haircuts, dh taught himself how to do it because we just couldn't see spending that much every six week or so. Once my oldest girl got old enough to have long hair, I realized that I could easily cut her hair straight across the back without a problem.

I would never buy shoes that are 100+, nor would my kids. It's just not even an option in our minds. We're more likely to walk out of a store than to even think about spending more than 100 bucks on shoes. Shoes are 60-70 dollars, max.

These are just examples, but I think it's more of a mentality. And it seems like the reason it's hard for you is that you're in the mentality of "I want to get out of debt, but I'm not poor or anything, so I should still be able to have all of the things I really want, so there must be things I can cut out that I don't really want." That's not the way people like us live. (And yes, you're now "like us," like it or not.) You think really hard before buying things. Do I buy my kids new socks and undershirts? Sure, but I wait until it's really necessary and we have the money available for it. Yes, my kids kvetch sometimes. But they'd kvetch a lot more if we sunk into debt and couldn't pay the mortgage and had nowhere to live, right?

I try to keep my food bill under 200 a week. Yes, that means that several days a week are pareve or milchig with very little dairy in them (like a sprinkle of cheese). I've found things like soups and mexican dishes (beans!) that my kids will eat happily, and I try to make those often.

Eyebrows are done at home. Shave instead of waxing. Think twice before buying something online and in the store, and then wait a couple of days to make sure you really need it.

There are things that are luxuries that you're viewing as necessities. If you're in debt, these things are luxuries. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. I think that what you need is less advice on an area or two to cut, and more a total attitude change. You are in debt. Therefore you are poor. Face it and live like poor people live. Maybe one day you'll get out of debt and be able to have more "wants." But for right now, redefine your true needs and only buy those.

I hope this helps.

(ETA: I have teens and also younger kids, fwiw.)

mom!

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:54 pm

Op I re-read some of your specifics so maybe I can give a more targeted opinion.
Diapers, paper towels-non negotiable. Assuming you did everything humanly possible to get the cheapest available. And that you use shmattas/towels when possible to save the paper towel.
Socks/undershirts, unless they have one left keep pushing off. Here and there one week you’ll have extra discretionary funds and you’ll do it then. They can also go on sale on Black Friday.
School fees-this is a tough one cuz no way to do this without kids knowing. See if you can somehow discretely make two payments over two months to soften the blow.

See if you have any cc points to help. The one thing we did, dunno if smart or not was save the Amazon cc points to be used towards emergencies (like detergent) which helped with the spending.
Check into opening new bank account that gives sign on bonus or the like.

Hang in there! You got this!

amother

Snowflake

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:04 pm

Funny , I'm a sheitel macher and I have a customer who asked me for a haircut for her son, telling me that it grows so fast she's going crazy. I told her to learn how to do it herself! LOL

She said no!
Everybody has to know what they're capable of doing.
If you're trying to save money try as much as possible not to hire anyone to do something you can do yourself. There are literally thousands of videos on YouTube that will teach you everything you need to know!

Obviously, no new clothes whatsoever debt is paid off! Free gemach only!!! (Unless kid has zero underwears/socks left but it shouldn't happen on a monthly basis! Wink

)

No extras until all debt is paid off (no paper goods,no toys or books!)

Be creative in the kitchen!
Empty cabinet and freezer. Repurpose leftovers. Buy stuff that's on sale. Check out sales while sitting at home so you know where it's worth going.
I like to rotate supermarkets so I can take advantage of sales of products we like!
(Wk #1 bingo because they're having a sale on yogurts,wk #2 gg cause they're having a sale on chicken, wk #3 npgs cause they're having a sale on ground beef... you get the idea!)

boysrus

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 11:49 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Boys can get haircuts at home. It's very easy.

If you're spending more than 100 on a pair of shoes that rips and you have to take it to the shoemaker, then buy cheaper shoes because it's obviously not worth the money. Do your own eyebrows. Find a cheaper sheitel macher. 60 is a crazy amount for a regular wash and set.

unfortunately I'm not sure if that is so anymore. (the bolded)
my sheitel macher charges more than that now. when I first started going to her it was $25