It feels too late | Imamother

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

It feels too late

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amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 6:42 pm

We are early 40s had zero financial education and didn't even know what to get educated on. My husband was adamant that he didn't want to invest at all. He was always responsible with money so I trusted him.
We cover our bills but that's it. I feel like it is too late to be smart with our money. The bills we have now are huge, there isn't extra and we are getting older. Neither of us are in jobs that makes major money and are very much not the business type.
I feel as though I'm surrounded by young wealthy people and we are the losers.

amother

Clematis

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 7:06 pm

I relate. Not sure thst helps.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 7:12 pm

You are going to have to spend money to make money.
If you have even a little bit to invest or save, now or a monthly amount, HIRE someone to guide you.
You are not TOO late. You have 20-30 years in the workforce. It’s silly to think you are too late.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 7:17 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

Me too. How do I find that person to hire? How do I know who to trust

amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 7:20 pm

We are putting a bit into a Roth IRA each month now. Only started recently and the market is a disaster right now. Now I understand that mutual funds or index funds need a lot of time to build up. It just seems pointless. That's the only type of investing my husband is willing to even discuss. Safe. Safe. Safe. If we were younger and braver I think it would be different. Here I was for years thinking we were being responsible and meanwhile we were just naiive.

amother

Amaryllis

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 7:56 pm

I’m not sure that you are being fair to yourself. You have been covering your bills and you’re not in debt. You are both employed. Good ideas for now are to make sure that you both have health insurance, life insurance, and retirement savings like the Roth IRA. Many people are in less good financial situations than you are. Also, I sometimes feel like I don’t have enough for big ticket items like making a simcha. But I don’t think it’s a value to envy young people who are living a “fast” lifestyle with lots of international travel or vacation homes. Why would I envy that? That doesn’t bring one closer to Hashem.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 8:05 pm

What huge bills do you have, and can you reduce them

Do you have kids who you’re supporting now, and do you foresee those expenses lessening as the kids get older, leaving more room for saving

Do you own your house

amother

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 8:59 pm

Thank you for your compassionate responses.
Yes we own our house (with a mortgage) that will be paid off when we are 53 I believe.
Big ticket expenses:
Seminary
Yeshivas
Chasunahs/simchas
Larger home repairs
New vehicle.

effess

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:15 pm

It’s beautiful that so many ppl around you are wealthy.
I bet you so many MORE ppl around you are not wealthy.
You’re no loser!
You’re definitely not too late .
You may never become wealthy, but you can definitely learn how to use your money more wisely.
May Hashem’s brachos shower you with abundance!

worknights1313

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:21 pm

OP, ask your Rav if he knows of a trustworthy financial advisor. We spoke to one a few years ago, and he guided us with respect to saving for retirement and how to divide up our paychecks to do so. It made a huge difference. And we were older than you and your husband. You will be fine.

amother

Candycane

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:45 pm

here. I'll make you feel better about yourself

We're 43/42

No savings
No investments
About 50-70k in debt - not even sure full amount
Our rent in the last seven years MORE THAN DOUBLED
We cannot move due to jobs
Cannot cover any big ticket expenses
Live month to month while incurring new debt for expenses we can't cover

you're no loser

P.S. Neither am I. I'm dealing the deck of cards I was given. I don't know if anyone else in my situation would even be holding their head above water the way I am. Literally - the semblance of normal life that my children have I have created from thin air despite so many odds stacked against me. The issues I face are complex and ongoing. I'm in a perpetual game of of winning some and losing others.

But what counts is that I keep playing. and I don't let the depression gremlins eat away at me.

What doesn't count is what others may think or what others may have

effess

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:50 pm

That was a real hug!
You are one strong mamma!

amother

Oleander

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:53 pm

Its not too late!!
listen to the kosher money podcast
lots of info about investing etc

amother

Oleander

Sun, Dec 10 2023, 9:54 pm

I was actually just telling my husband that its such a shame that people aren't taught about money and how to manage their money properly. People don't know because they never learnt and didn't have role models in this area to teach them and guide them.

amother

Lightcoral

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 12:42 am

OP, you are not too late at all! At 40, you still have plenty of years until retirement. By investing now in something safe like mutual funds, the magic of compound interest can still work in your favor. For example, investing only $50 a week for the next 30 years will net you almost $500k by the time you are retiring, even if you invest in something safe such as mutual funds. Read this:

https://www.nasdaq.com/article.....-week

Also, just so you know, a lot of people lost their pants in high risk investments. My guess is that the people walking around now flush with money all made it during covid, those days are over and now the playing field will even out, IMO.

You made a lot of very good decisions.

1. You are both working and contributing to social security. You would be surprised how many people don't really buy into social security and then are left dry in their retirement years.

2. You own a house! Historically, homes have been a really good investment in frum neighborhoods, as their value has gone up tremendously. Besides for that, once you pay up your mortgage you will have that much more money available each month.

3. You are investing in the stock market through a Roth IRA (I'm assuming this makes sense for you tax-wise .) The stock market has generally been a good, safe place to invest. Even though it goes up and down, historically, stocks have averaged 10% a year. That's a really good investment if you hold on tight - which you will need to do anyway if you are invested in an IRA.

Cheiny

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 10:27 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s never too late to get educated. Either or both of you can get grants and get a degree for almost nothing and you can do it in a year or two years... Would that be an option?

mig100

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 10:34 am

Op . Just want to say if u own a home u r doing better then many..these days its really hard to buy

amother

Grape

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 10:36 am

It’s not too late. People underestimate how important it is to save for retirement.
At old age you don’t want to struggle with money

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