PSA: Not every protruding belly is a pregnant belly

amother

Grape

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:06 am

I was at a simcha and went to wish the mother in law (about 65) Mazel Tov. At a table full of her daughters she asked me if I’m pregnant (I don’t even know her that well). I said no, I’m just fat. 😂

But later I was angry. I had wished I had asked her “are you?” ridiculous question but so was hers.

At the next simcha I said Mazel Tov from ten feet away. She look confused why I didn’t come face to face but I wasn’t taking any chances.

amother

Pear

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:17 am

I was sick and had taken steroids. I gained tons of weight in a short time as a result. We had been ttc for over a year by that point, and I was getting mazal tovs and when am I due. It was very hurtful when I was ttc and I had also been sick and hospitalized.

A few months later at a classmates vort a friend put her arm on my waist and said loudly how she’s so happy for me to finally get a bshaa tova. I told her I’ll keep your bracha for when it’s relevant but this is my body shape.

Queen Of Hearts

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:34 am

What Is Wrong With People??
Unless someone tells you they're pregnant or you heard they are from a reliable source-Shut up!!
It's most likely the same people who say tactless and other uncalled for statements.

BeB'simcha

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:11 am

As someone going through infertility for several years, I get these types of questions all the time. No, I'm not fat. But when people are waiting to hear good news for years, they can analyse my stomach until they see it growing in their head... As well every little word I say that could maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe have the slightest of slight hint that it's a pregnancy symptom, means that I am for sure pregnant.

I B"H got used to it and I don't mind at all. As funny as it sounds, I enjoy it! I love to give tactless replies! I have a kick out of it!
So if you see my ask me anything you want. You will make my day!

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:35 am

I was dealing with infertility, taking meds that made me look bloated. I wasn’t up to it, but I had a very good friend’s wedding so I went. I wore a dress that I thought flattered me the most. During dancing when I got to dance with the kallah, I was excited for her. She said loudly- careful let’s go slowly so you don’t hurt the baby! I was so embarrassed. I left crying right after that dance. I never told this friend that I was so hurt at her wedding. I forgave her, but still can’t forget about it.
I never wore that dress again.

lostmyoldSN

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 12:02 pm

I've gotten the comment and I respond just fat. I'm not even overweight. I'm just usually bloated with fat in the wrong place.

It doesn't hurt me but I if I was ttc for awhile I know it would crush me.

amother

Winterberry

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 12:04 pm

Wow, literally this afternoon I bumped into a friend of my mother's.
Im in my 40s for refernce.
Im over weight but have actively been loosing weight.
This lasy says to me "so a bshaa tova is in order, right"?
And I said no. She then says "oh you just gained weight".
Thankfully I was able to laugh it off because I have lost 30 pounds over the last half a year. But talk about socially off.

amother

Feverfew

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:03 pm

thank you! thank you! thank you!

same here - I literally look 6 months pregnant when im not...

I was always wondering if I was the only one like this...
even when going shopping for clothing, they ask me why im in their store and not shopping for maternity!

Why do you think they do this?
ive always wondered, if there are so many of us, why do these people never learn that people with bodies like us exist??

also get asked by friends and family...

amother

Plum

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:17 pm

What is wrong with people??

I would never ever ever assume someone is pregnant unless they outright mention that they are pregnant. Even then, I won't ask questions like when are you due?

I work in a frum female only office and my coworkers are often speculating who they think is pregnant. I find that strange enough! But they'd never outright ask or comment to anyone's face!!

momof2+?

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:21 pm

When I see these psa’s I automatically think “obviously you don’t say these types of things!”
—->and then I read the whole thread of person after person telling how similar comments were made to her too 🙈
There are so many people not thinking before they talk?!?!

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 1:22 pm

My weight is always in my stomach! Unless I’m fully fully back to my wedding weight, I will have a stomach! I have friends who are not so skinny, but their stomachs are flat. It’s literally a body type.
I’ll never understand the comments
When I am pregnant, it’s pretty obvious. I am skinny everywhere else and have a ball in front of me. It looks different than my floppy belly when I’m not pregnant

Tao

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 2:52 pm

BeB'simcha wrote:

OMG this! Lol! I was once talking to someone and I made a certain comment, she smiled and said, "So how are you feeling?" and glanced at my stomach. I was a bit confused and said, "I'm feeling good" - I mean, I didn't have the flu or anything?! After she had walked away it clicked to me that she had thought my comment meant I was pregnant (she misunderstood what I was saying). Oh, well. Lol.
I also didn't have another kid right away after my last which is pretty scandalous in my community Laugh

amother

Pink

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:01 pm

SO relatable. Been teased by family members, been asked by random people, unfortunately this is my life. Always always bloated (and in pain). But this thread is pretty validating.
And I don’t fit into anything! And tights is so uncomfortable with a bloated belly! How does everyone deal with that part of it?
I most likely have adenomyosis as well, to the poster who mentioned upthread. What did you mean when you said you “had” adenomyosis?

amother

Lily

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:31 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

Ooh the tights hurt me too. I get a brand on Amazon that is the opposite of control top.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d.....ss_tl

I have these, but they always fall down!

amother

cornflower

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 11:59 pm

I'll never forget that moment when some man of a public bus offered me his seat. I was puzzled until I understood that he thought I was pregnant. I absolutely wasn't but I've had a protruding belly since I was a kid and it got way worse with time and after a few real pregnancies.