Consumerism is destroying the Jewish community from within

ectomorph

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:28 pm

amother Linen wrote:

I believe we need to address the underlying problem in our society called PEER PRESSURE.

Why was there no peer pressure ever before the Holocaust and right after? We need to get to the bottom of it. How do we eradicate PEER PRESSURE from between adults teens children.

Um, there was always peer pressure.

amother

Cyclamen

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:30 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I stand corrected. You are right , the stories and recipes are written for the highest level of consumerism. I so rarely read em, I forgot they existed.

I refuse to subscribe to Mishpacha or Bina or Ami for this reason.

amother

Bluebonnet

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:46 pm

amother Babypink wrote:

Because what your doing on pesach is equivalent to for example a family of jews that bribed a guard in bergen belsen and is now eating a 7 course meal while the rest on starving. What your doing is not on any planet according to yiddishe hashkafa. When your in Dubai or orlando for peasach what are you channeling zeicher yetzias mitzrayim or Kim Kardashian ?

wow wow wow. You are very judgemental. I dont go to orlando or dubai but do go to a pesach program and what I do is none of your business!

amother

Bluebonnet

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 1:58 pm

I listened to the podcast and I think there needs to be more education. You don't learn about finances in school. If your parents don't teach you your basically learning on the job. I think in every community there are all types and you choose your crowd and who you hang out with and what type of peer pressure you suscribe yourself too. Yes I agree the standards are high but make your own standards. Hang out with the people who may not be the coolest but who have their values and priorities straight.

amother

Red

Fri, Dec 22 2023, 3:02 pm

amother Babypink wrote:

Do I hear the voice of jealousy and judgment ? I’m sorry, but you know nothing about anyone else’s life. Who are you to decide what is the right thing for others to do? If it’s not right for you- that’s fine. But don’t assume what’s right for others.

Bnei Berak 10

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 12:58 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

I said nothing about being a nebach. And I didn’t say there is anything wrong with making a simple Simcha either. What I said is that, if one can afford it, there is nothing wrong with making a fancy Simcha. You don’t need to curb YOUR Simcha because I can’t afford to do the same thing.

Depends on which side you view it. Some chassiduyot have takkanot for weddings and engagements which is a treat thing IMHO. I especially mentioned simchas since it's very visible to the guests (unlike the fancy kitchen or jewelry).
In itself it's not a crime to do a fancy simcha but when your daughter cries over XYZ that she also wants on her simcha because she has seen it on your fancy simcha it puts your fellow Jew in a difficult position. What should be a pleasant time of engagement and wedding plans have suddenly turned into tears and tisha BeAv.
As long as no one puts down their foot standards are always going to creep up. Is that what we want? Is that in accordance to Torah values?

Last edited by Bnei Berak 10 on Sat, Dec 23 2023, 5:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

Roots

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 1:44 pm

what you wrote is beautiful!!

amother Feverfew wrote:

Something beautiful about the frum community that also causes many issues is that we do not define our peers by social class. In the non-Jewish world, a kid in public school on snap and Medicaid would never even have the opportunity to meet the child of a millionaire, let alone associate themselves and be friends with that child. To highlight this further, I know someone who works as a dietician in a nursing home with all non-Jewish coworkers. The owners (frum guys) threw a holiday party and came in for it, naturally this frum person sat with the owners and was schmoozing with their wives. After the party, her coworkers were horrified as they would never dare speak to the owners. In our community, we are not stratified by social class. The rebbi's son and the real estate owner's son are best friends. If you think about it, this really is beautiful. However, this causes the natural cycle of jealousy and feeling inadequate when you see those around you who have more than you because they can afford it (and those around you who can't afford it). It really is a vicious cycle of wanting and needing although it stems from a beautiful aspect of the frum community. If everyone would stop looking at what everyone else has and just learn to live within their means and understand that it is okay to not have that thing and not be embarrassed about it like is suggested in the podcast episode, I think we would all be happier.

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 6:55 pm

On Shabbos dh and I were discussing ds’s
Bar mitzvah. Ds and I would love to hire Benny Friedman but I wouldn’t want to cause jealousy or set standards among his friends so I think we won’t do that. We may do a private family trip to Israel - a much more private way to spend money and give ds a meaningful experience

ectomorph

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 7:54 pm

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Thank you!