How to not be a flaky employee

amother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 5:32 pm

I am wondering how other working moms with husbands that do not have flexible jobs feel about this. My husband and I both work full time but my husband’s job is less flexible- ie he is responsible for bigger decisions than I am and also supervises other people. My job is not flexible but they’ll allow me to take off if I need to- just I won’t get paid for that time. I am a huge people pleaser and I also always prided myself on my good work ethic, however, now that I’m a mom I feel like the most flaky employee. My toddler gets fever at least every 2-3 weeks during the winter months and I often need to stay home with him. I am also going through a high risk pregnancy and have needed to take off to see specialists. I offer to make up work but I still feel like it just doesn’t look good. Other working moms with inflexible husbands, how do you manage?

amother

Bisque

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 5:39 pm

I’m struck by why your toddler is getting a fever that often. My babies/preschoolers go to daycare (so they always have a lot of sick contacts) but BH get sick way less. Maybe every 6-12 months. I’d speak to your doc about ways to boost immunity.

Full time working mom here too.it’s hard but it shouldn’t have to have to be that hard

mamadana

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 6:26 pm

So sorry, I have the same. Yes, my kids randomly get a fever every few weeks. This is normal. Count my kids Chanuka vacation (on different days), midwinter vacation (on different days), my sick days, kids' sick days, in-between school and camp, in between camp and school, every fast day, every erev, every isru and when there are microscopic flurries outside, and I should probably be fired Crying

amother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:16 pm

amother Bisque wrote:

My coworkers seem to have similar patterns with their kids. They have more flexible spouses which makes staying home easier.

amother

Camellia

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

My coworkers seem to have similar patterns with their kids. They have more flexible spouses which makes staying home easier.

You're probably my workmate then. Lets just say the grass is always greener on the other side.

At least you have 2 solid incomes. My husband is very flexible, but no income.

Yes I do feel bad for you with all colds n flus. I don't know how you cope.

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:28 pm

This is the stage you’re in. It’s hard not being able to perform up to your usual standards. But that’s how it is when you have small kids.

amother

Teal

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 8:36 pm

As my family grew, I cut my hours. Also, I had an honest discussion with my employer about what I was capable of and we worked it out bh.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:05 pm

Communicate. Offer to work from home, make up time at night, etc.
I am a manager and am myself in the same stage of life. I have a house of little kids and no backup. And because I understand so well, I am very close to firing an excellent employee who has been missing work nonstop without explanation. Of course I understand all the sick days, off days etc. but because she’s leaving early without a word on top of the rest she’s leaving me with no choice, I can’t keep filling in for her. Of course you have no obligation to explain, but if you don’t it makes it a lot harder to excuse.