My son is infuriating and miserable to be around

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:17 pm

amother Linen wrote:

My son is extacly the same except he's not asd and no adhd or anxiety, he became like this the last year I'm at my wits end with him

Please have him evaluated for pandas/pans/Lyme. If this behavior is new it's extremely likely it was caused by an infection.

amother

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:35 pm

Hes not irritable because he's anxious. He's this way because he's autistic. He has a very square minded, rigid worldview and lives with constant frustration.
Do medications help with that? We haven't tried antipsychotics.

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Rigidity is often a symptom of anxiety/ocd. The irritability is distress when things don't fit the ocd script. There is a huge amount of overlap and comorbidity between asd and ocd.

meyerlemon44

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:47 pm

OP, I don't know if this could apply to your son, but I'm mentioning it because I wish I had known about it sooner for my child. She's high functioning ASD and has something called Pathological Demand Avoidance, which is a subset of behaviors some autistic people show: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/.....ance/

amother

Crystal

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:51 pm

amother Seagreen wrote:

Listen to me , had a child like this & plus some more issues
What’s the solution ??? Meds, meds & more meds .
Meaning find the best doctor you can & keep tweaking them and changing and adjusting both meds & dosage till your kid starts to resemble a normal human being , that isn’t destroying the sanity of everyone in your house . It’s a long journey, it took us about 3 years to get to a normal place . It’s a diff journey but there is a light at the end of the tunnel .

My child is similar to OPs but not on the spectrum, there are other issues. We tried meds, meds and more meds. Once we stopped the meds we realized how much WORSE it had made things. It’s far far far from perfect now, but better than when there were meds involved. We did 7+ years. Meds are not always the answer.

amother

DarkCyan

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 7:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes my autistic son is on meds to address agitation from his autism and is on meds specifically approved for that

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:01 pm

Is there a Frum Farm, where boys like this can do physical tasks in the barnyard and the metal shop and wood shop, where their precision and exacting standards can be both developed and humbled?

amother

Impatiens

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 3:36 pm

OP, your ds sounds just like mine! He's HFA and is always criticizing everything everyone does. We keep telling him to stop, but he can't! I do want to look into the meds people are recommending here because it's unbearable for the whole family.

amother

Geranium

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 3:42 pm

Reminds me of a teen I had that acted like this, he was also mean to his siblings and freinds and when he wanted could drive them into the ground, he grew up, got into a lot of trouble on the way which I wont recount due to privacy purposes however when I mean a lot I mean it... In his early twenties he slowly turned his life around, today he is a serious avreich and an exemplary husband. This is all without meds although I did try sending him to a psychiatrist whom he made constant fun off....Its more then 10 years and believe me Ive seen a thing or two....Im not sure if the meds do more harm then good.....