OMG the crying! | Imamother

amother

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 12:31 pm

I love the family time, the large meals, the jokes and fun over YT. But the crying kids- Ahh! It drives me insane. This isn’t a matter of overtired kids, it’s a method of communication these NT kids learned. If they whine or cry long enough, they’ll get what they want. It starts when they first wake up and only ends after they go to sleep- accompanied by crying and kvetching and stalling and not listening etc. 🤯

But of course, I keep my mouth shut and my face as unemotional as I can. Keep smiling until I can escape to my room.

(No, I’m not an out touch older MIL who forgot how to raise kids)

teachkids

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 12:45 pm

My kids know the answer is no if they whine , but still, when overtired and out of routine they whine, and it’s driving me nuts too

amother

Oatmeal

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 12:47 pm

What’s worse than hearing your kids whining? Hearing other’s kids whining!

Genius

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 12:53 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

What’s worse than hearing your kids whining? Hearing other’s kids whining!

Nah. With others’ kids I can tune out and pray the parents take care. With my own, it’s my problem. On that note, I’m available for parenting tips anytime.

amother

Oatmeal

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:00 pm

Genius wrote:

Nah. With others’ kids I can tune out and pray the parents take care. With my own, it’s my problem. On that note, I’m available for parenting tips anytime.

But what if their definition of ‘taking care’ is letting them cry?

amother

Green

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:00 pm

My mother is the best bubby. My kids love going there but she can't take it when they cry. She'll usually try to calm the kid down which usually helps as she is amazing with kids but if the child is overtired as they tend to be this season I know to take them outside till they calm down. My kids know they can cry at home but not by bubby.

Genius

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

But what if they’re definition of ‘taking care’ is letting them cry?

I try meditation. Listen to the sound without judgement. Inhale. Exhale.
But generally my hypothalamus knows that I have enough kvetches of my own and it doesn’t alert me to the sound to begin with. My apologies if I chose the wrong part of my brain. It’s been a while.

chestnut

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

But what if their definition of ‘taking care’ is letting them cry?

It's a problem. They can practice it at home but not when in someone's house.

amother

Periwinkle

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:06 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

But what if their definition of ‘taking care’ is letting them cry?

Well OP says we shouldn’t give into the crying …

You can’t have it both ways that we shouldn’t spoil them but we can’t let them just cry out the tantrum

amother

Bronze

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:13 pm

Right. At home I can not give in, but I won't always do that when staying somewhere for yt and it seems like people won't handle it well. If I can take the child into a private space and handle it, there, I would.

Op, don't judge their parenting. They're not in their own space snd and may be trying to compensate.

amother

Mayflower

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:26 pm

With all due respect, you're an out of touch MIL.
Sorry!
Between the upended routine, late nights for both kids and parents, change of diet, and not being in their own space, it's unreasonable to expect that either kids or parents are going to be at their best for Pesach. (And perhaps this could apply to Bubbies as well Wink

)

lamplighter

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 1:30 pm

I can't stand the constant crying and whining, except they are my own children and after 8 days they aren't going home. They aren't NT if that makes a difference. It doesn't, the crying, meltdowns, and whining is just as draining.

Just for perspective.

Last edited by lamplighter on Fri, Apr 26 2024, 2:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

octopus

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 2:25 pm

You're an amazing bubby for hosting and for keeping your mouth closed. Don't let anyone say otherwise. You deserve a medal. Hosting is hard! These are one of the hard parts about these extended get-togethers. May you continue to enjoy your children and grandchildren for many many more years to come!

Lady A

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 2:30 pm

Honestly, with the yontif being broken up the way it is, I would say hold on tight. We are all in for a bumpy ride.

GLUE

Fri, Apr 26 2024, 3:20 pm

Genius wrote:

Nah. With others’ kids I can tune out and pray the parents take care. With my own, it’s my problem. On that note, I’m available for parenting tips anytime.

Years ago when I had 3 little kids I was once in a store and a women came over to me and said
Ah, the sweat sound of someone else's kids making a racket.

That's what I now think when I hear someone else's kid crying.