Gendered costumes | Imamother

zaq

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 12:58 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

I would not allow 100% cross-dressing, like a boy in a tutu. I would let a boy wear a Scottish kilt and dress up as a Scottish man though, because that's not crossdressing.

A girl in a poluce uniform is not crossdressing, IMO. I wouldn't let a girl dress up as Donald Trump (bc crossdressing nothing to do with politics)

I wouldn't let a boy dress up as Donald Trump either. Because of politics.

stayAwake

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:24 pm

My brother joined our theme at 2 yrs old (years ago), we all wore gowns.
It's a tradition in my family to dress up a 2 yr old boy like a girl for Purim. (my aunt who was wishing to have a girl...)
What do you think of that?

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:37 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

I think its fine, but I would do a girly version
So something like this

rather then this

I would only use the second one for my daughter, I would never do the first one, it hardly represents a police officer.

#BestBubby

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:40 pm

When my son was 2 with long Blond hair

I dressed him as a girl.

When my DD was a year I dressed her as a boy.

I never heard of transgender 30+ years ago.

I don't know it would do it today.

amother

Alyssum

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:41 pm

Why is the "girly version" a version that's no longer the costume but rather an outfit that's themed around the costume? Is there a costume where the "boy version" is like that?

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:45 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Why is the "girly version" a version that's no longer the costume but rather an outfit that's themed around the costume? Is there a costume where the "boy version" is like that?

There are plenty that are the same just with a skirt instead of pants

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:53 pm

As OP says the girl would happily accept a princess costume, I vote for the princess costume.

None of the women in those mostly-male occupations are frum women, and this girl is going to be a frum woman. Not just a woman. A frum one.

Gender mentality and identity need clear support.

That she is around a lot of boys when playing INCREASES her need for support as a proud girl.

elusivity

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 1:58 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

Ooh! I dressed up as Achashverosh! We should totally have been friends.

And I was Vashti!
I remember a lady in shul kept staring at me during megilla and asked afterwards what I was supposed to be. After my mother explained that she hadn't yet had time to put (lipstick) spots on my face the lady said she had been confused why there was a tail stuck on the back of my cloak!

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:22 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

At that age a child is not aware of their gender so would literally not make a difference.

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:05 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

At that age a child is not aware of their gender so would literally not make a difference.

I don't agree.

I think gender - meaning the socializing, mental part - starts forming and structuring from the first week after birth, if not the first day. People talk in a different tone to babies, even the youngest, based on their gender.

scruffy

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:57 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

I don't... babies are babies.

They have zero concept of gender.

Every frum kid I know grew up just fine despite that

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:02 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Huh. I talk the same way to all. Gender plays no role until they can differentiate their body parts, usually around 3. And that is all gender is, it’s body parts.

zaq

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:21 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

I would only use the second one for my daughter, I would never do the first one, it hardly represents a police officer.

Not only does it not represent a police officer, it looks like one of those salacious adult-fantasy costumes that are simply cheap lingerie with a few glued-on decorations vaguely reminiscent of some uniform or other.

zaq

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:29 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Not necessary at the age of four. And there are shmillions of ways to bring a girl up to be proud of her womanhood, none of which is to deny her the Purim costume of her choice.

Once upon a time there were no frum women doctors, lawyers, judges or hatzalah EMTs. Today there are. It's only a matter of time before there are frum women police officers and so on. I foresee them specializing in working with children and with female victims of domestic violence and s*xual assault.

The whole theme of Purim--well, one of them--is that nothing and no one in the story was what s/he appeared to be on the surface, and the whole original point of a purim costume was to masquerade as what you are NOT.

DVOM

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:33 pm

My darling 2 year old daughter,my first and only girl after 4 boys, wants to be...spiderman.

So I bought her a Spiderman costume. And a puffy, sparkling, pink princess unicorn costume. I just couldn't help myself.

My daughter loves both, and I think I might end up with a sparkling Spiderman princess on Purim day.

If there ever was a great day to embrace it all, Purim is it. I'd have no issue with any costume.

amother

Stonewash

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:00 pm

I dressed up as a firefighter when I was 6 and I loved it! I was friends with mostly boys at the time and fit right in. All of my girl friends that year were princesses and I still think it’s hilarious looking at the pictures.

I remember visiting a fire station as a kid and thinking how cool it was that they got to slide down poles, ride on shiny fire trucks, and use their power hose. This must have been that same year.

I love how creative I was as a kid. I had a lot of strange costumes over the years and we never did a theme, so I could only ever take full credit/blame. 😂