When do you pierce your daughters' ears?

manhattanmom

Thu, Aug 26 2010, 11:09 pm

I've seen this topic so many times on this forum.

Right now, I only have boys. But if I were to have a daughter one day, she will definitely not have earrings before she asks for them.

(I had my ears pierced when I was 10 and I feel it's the perfect age!) When my little sister was in Kindergarten--she's much younger than I am--she came home from school one day and said, "Mommy. I am the only kid in my class who doesn't have earrings. And she was 100% correct in that statement." I think that's nuts!

I believe in using things like piercing ears as an incentive/reward that is truly earned or when you can use it as an opportunity for a deserved gift. Why should pierced ears have to be a given? And I also think it looks silly on babies, especially bald ones.

happyone

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 12:12 am

In the first week of life. My girls slept through it at that age.
I still remember the trauma when my mom did mine at about 6 years old. My belief is do it asap. boys get a bris at 8 days, girls should be pierced by 8 days.

gp2.0

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 12:49 am

Only when they ask for it, and willingly undergo the pain so that they can have the earrings.

I had my ears pierced when I was 17. I'm happy I didn't have it done when I was fifteen minutes old. (!!!!)

First of all, the idea of piercing a baby's ears while they're still in the hospital just makes me sick. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone, but it does literally make me sick. Babies have no need of extra adornment to make them pretty.

Girls and women like to look pretty, and may choose to have earrings because of this. Putting earrings on a baby seems to be rushing the whole 'growing into a woman' process unnecessarily. It really horrifies me. Babies should be babies.

Also, I don't want to be the cause of unnecessary pain to my child. If she elects to do it on her own, no problem.

I don't even know why some of you are bothering to compare this to a bris. A bris is a mitzva. If it weren't, believe me, I wouldn't do it.

I'm happy my mother didn't do it to me when I was a baby. It felt WONDERFUL to make that decision, and get my ears pierced on my own.

But piercings on a baby, those beautiful, soft, tiny, brand-new, perfect ears being mutilated for the sake of being 'pretty', when that isn't even relevant until years down the line....I dunno, it just seems very crass to me. *shudder*

suomynona

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 1:25 am

manhattanmom wrote:

I don't think little kids should be wearing jewelry.

Atali

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 8:49 am

gp2.0 wrote:

I agree 100%

chaylizi

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 8:53 am

Both my daughters were 3 when I had their ears pierced. I did not plan to do it until they asked for earrings & were able to understand that it would hurt a little. I would not have done it then if they hadn't begged for it. I don't like babies with earrings either.

My baby has gotten multiple heel sticks this week & I feel terrible every time I have to bring her to the lab for another test. I wish I could just save her from the pain & this is something I have to do. I couldn't bring myself to cause pain on purpose. (Oh and there is a reason I stayed outside during my son's bris. I would have been in hysterics. I only came so I could nurse & comfort him immediately afterward.)

Last edited by chaylizi on Fri, Aug 27 2010, 9:30 am; edited 1 time in total

manhattanmom

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 9:25 am

happyone wrote:

Are you serious??

We're not talking about a mitzvah here!

A newborn is the most beautiful thing ever why must you pierce its ears to feel that way about your most precious wholesome new bundle.

I just can't understand why there are some people that seem to believe that it is a must and that by adding earrings to the most precious wholesome gorgeous little girl that just came out of them is a necessity to make her even more beautiful.

CeeWhyGee

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 9:33 am

I like to pierce as early as possible because the younger they are the less likely it is that they'll play with them and get them infected. The lady I use to do the piercing likes to wait till 3 months so I usually do it then...

invisiblecircus

Fri, Aug 27 2010, 11:52 am

Those of you who pierce at a young age, is it normal for non-Jewish infants in your country/ state to be pierced so young?

I know that in some countries such as Spain it is normal but don't know about others.

Personally I don't like the look at all, even on adults but especially on littles ones.

5S5Sr7z3

Sun, Aug 29 2010, 1:28 am

invisiblecircus wrote:

I wouldnt know - I dont go with the flow, I do my own thing. Same for styles and the latest 'must have'. I dont care what 'everybody else' does.

Plonis

Sun, Aug 29 2010, 2:19 am

How do you know it hurts more when they're older?

I'm waiting until Bas Mitzvah IY"H. (And if I have my way, having it done by an acupuncturist. I hear that piercings in the wrong place can affect your eyes.)

It's not just the earrings - I had multiple infections because of allergic reactions to my earrings. OUCH!

lech lecha08

Sun, Aug 29 2010, 3:57 am

manhattanmom wrote:

? And I also think it looks silly on babies, especially bald ones.

Totally agree although it seems like it's davka the bald ones who have pierced ears so people will know it's a girl or something.
I have 3 girls and my first 2 were pretty bald until about a year and a half. I'm planning on letting them choose if and when they want earrings.

mom#1!

Sun, Aug 29 2010, 4:09 am

Personally I think it's better to do it earlier. The kid won't remember the pain and they'll be over with it for the rest of their lives. I do it when they're babies because I got mine when I was 4 and I remember it as extremely painful. Crying

melalyse

Mon, Aug 30 2010, 9:52 pm

lech lecha08 wrote:

manhattanmom wrote:

? And I also think it looks silly on babies, especially bald ones.

I was a bald baby and my mom couldn't stand that everyone asked if I was a boy (even in pink dresses), she pierced my ears at 2 months old - and still got asked if I was a boy.

I am a big fan of piercing early, even thought I didn't pierce my daughters until 2. I think that most girls want earrings and if they don't they can always remove them. I don't know if I would of chosen to do it myself, I would have been to scared. I am very thankful that my mom did it for me when I was a baby.

invisiblecircus

Tue, Aug 31 2010, 6:08 am

IYamWhoIYam wrote:

invisiblecircus wrote:

I wouldnt know - I dont go with the flow, I do my own thing. Same for styles and the latest 'must have'. I dont care what 'everybody else' does.

Just for the record, I do my own thing too. I just wondered if it was a "Jewish" thing because where I'm from I've only really seen it on Jewish babies. I don't care what other people do either but I still noticed without specifically looking for it.

mama-star

Tue, Aug 31 2010, 8:11 am

I think babies with pierced ears look cute - it's not something I would do for my dd's personally though.

I read a letter once from the lubavitcher rebbe, he recommended to someone that they pierce their dd's ears at bas mitzva time. this makes it something special to honor the bas mitzva. so that is what I have decided to do. my oldest dd is 10 now and she can't wait! we are planning a special night together, just me and her, when we go get her ears pierced and have dinner together. Very Happy

she says she wants to have her ears pierced 6 weeks prior to bas mitzva so her ears are all healed up and she can put in the earrings she wants for her special day.

DrMom

Tue, Aug 31 2010, 8:29 am

I find this discussion very interesting because my MIL has pointedly remarked that pierced ears are inappropriate for Jewish women.

I thought that was an odd comment, because many Jewish women I have known, including many women in our shul, have pierced ears. But I grew up in a rather unobservant household so I thought perhaps this was a stringency observed in more frum families.

I should note that she usually makes this remark when somebody compliments me on my earrings, or when DH gives me earrings as a present Rolling Eyes