Home

Allergies and Aggravations
1, 2, 3  Next
 
View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Children's Health -> Allergies
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Report offensive ad


allrgymama








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:00 pm       Post subject: Allergies and Aggravations
It seems that while there are a bunch of threads with questions and answers, there aren't that many for plain old support. There is no one that I know well who has a child with allergies and I feel very isolated with it. I'm sure many of you do to!

Let's change that!

Let's take this thread to talk about how people just don't 'get it' or simply refuse to. Or just how annoying or frustrating it is to take food with you wherever you go (I've developed a slight 'Holocaust' mentality when it comes to making sure my daughter has enough food for when we leave the house) and constantly having to explain what 'food allergies' means in a technical, emotional, religious and social sense.

I'll go first:

Last night, I undressed my daughter (21 months old) to put her into the bath. She had broken out in terrible eczema the likes of which I haven't seen in months. Even her kneecaps were red and bumpy and unhappy looking. Even though I knew that she'd only eaten safe foods, I gave her Target Brand Zyrtec anyway; she's been running this low-grade fever since Thursday night and I didn't want one more thing to be bothering her.

I totally forgot about this morning when I called the allergist to schedule a peanut challenge for her, though. I was so excited that I got an appointment for this week (since I'm away from home all next week and knowing that she passed her nut challenge would have been a huge load off my mind) and didn't remember until 4 hours later when I took out the Motrin for her and saw the Target brand Zyrtec.

It is so frustrating to schedule appointment and keep them! Inevitably, whenever she has an appointment she's sick (missed the flu test in November because she's been vomiting) or she has a breakout and we have to give her Zyrtec.

Minor frustration, I know. But when you only go to a specific doctor once every 6 months and she punkt has an allergic reaction or gets sick in time for that appointment -- ARGH!

(I would talk about my family, but two sisters are on this site and the forum isn't locked Smile)
Back to top

small bean








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:09 pm       Post subject:
I have 2 with allergies and that is so frustrating.

my 4yr old dd - is allergic to peanuts and therefor I can not take her to almost any kiddush /shalom zachor... it drives me crazy that people send things with peanuts and don't mark it.

btw it gets easier in a way as your kids get older because they can understand and they sort of take care of themself because they don't want to get sick...

I'm having a really hard time with my son who is allergic to chicken, meat, fish, eggs, dairy, soy, nuts, legumes. he doesnt understand and gets so frustrated, also he picks things up from the floor and we are always dealing with reactions.
Back to top

manhattanmom








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:15 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
Yes.
It took some of my relatives a very long time to take my children's food allergies/intolerances seriously. It was quite difficult explaining it over and over and over--NO. He CANNOT have anything with dairy in it.
What's really so hard to understand about that?
_________________
"You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make." ~Earl Wilson
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:16 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
@ small bean: how old is your son that he's still picking up food from the floor?

Baruch Hashem, I live on two floors (in Coventry; which isn't saying much, but still). The only place DD is allowed to eat is downstairs in her high chair. There are very rare exceptions to this rule, but the general policy helps to ensure that she's eating safe foods off a safe surface. I also almost exclusively feed her off paper and plastic (or dishwasher safe bowls/plates) so that also cuts down on risk.

@manhattenmom: my daughter had a severe reaction 2 weeks before her diagnoses. I asked whether or not something contained eggs and was told 'no'. Violent vomitting later? It had mayonnaise in it. You can't imagine the looks I got from my aunt when I told her I couldn't cut a grape in half for my daughter with my teeth because I had had milk earlier and my mouth was 'contaminated'. And when I told my grandmother that I don't'/can't kiss DD after eating something she's allergic to because DD will break out, her eyebrows went up and into her snood.
Back to top

manhattanmom








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 6:34 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Allergies and Aggravations
allrgymama wrote:
@ small bean: how old is your son that he's still picking up food from the floor?

Baruch Hashem, I live on two floors (in Coventry; which isn't saying much, but still). The only place DD is allowed to eat is downstairs in her high chair. There are very rare exceptions to this rule, but the general policy helps to ensure that she's eating safe foods off a safe surface. I also almost exclusively feed her off paper and plastic (or dishwasher safe bowls/plates) so that also cuts down on risk.

@manhattenmom: my daughter had a severe reaction 2 weeks before her diagnoses. I asked whether or not something contained eggs and was told 'no'. Violent vomitting later? It had mayonnaise in it. You can't imagine the looks I got from my aunt when I told her I couldn't cut a grape in half for my daughter with my teeth because I had had milk earlier and my mouth was 'contaminated'. And when I told my grandmother that I don't'/can't kiss DD after eating something she's allergic to because DD will break out, her eyebrows went up and into her snood.


Part of the not-understanding is definitely a generation gap. There either weren't allergies when our parents were young or just a lack of awareness. On that note, we're headed back to the allergist in one week....looking forward to having definitive answers for everyone.
Back to top

cbsmommy








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 8:43 pm       Post subject:
@allergymama and manhattanmom:

In her book, "Raising our Celiac Kids", Danna Korn breaks down everyone into a few distinct categories. She sums up into the following:

1) the people who really truly get it - These people wash their hands, brush their teeth, clean the counters, and ban certain foods from the house before you/your kids get their. They ask question and listen, and chances are, these people have the SAME EXACT allergies/intolerances that you have and therefore can emphathize with what you are going through.

2) the people who get that this is a medical emergency, and admit that they can't handle it - these are the people who recognize the seriousness of allergies, but are unable to actually compromise/help you out. These folks are terrified to give your celiac kid an apple, to hand your dairy allergic child a glass of water in a plastic cup, etc. Personally, I love these people just as much as category #1, b/c they get that the situation can get serious superfast, plus they won't slip my kid a peanut butter cookie when my back is turned b/c she's 'deprived'...

3) Just-don't-get-it-but-think-they-do! These are the people who start nodding their heads and saying 'yep, yep, totally!' before you've even finished saying your kid can't eat at the table if their are crumbs everywhere, and meanwhile they've handed your kid a cheese sandwhich b/c "there's no dairy in cheese! Don't be silly!" Or my personal FAVORITE: "but the label says, it's white bread! there's no wheat in white bread!" {b/c didn't everyone else also learn about a grain called 'white'?!?}

4) The people who don't understand and look at you like you just told them that your child is an alien from Mars when you tell them that they have to wash their hands b/4 giving your DC a kiss.

When I was in HS people were convinced I was counting calories b/c I always asked to see the package before eating everything. Either that or I'd get told (along with an evil pointed look), that the food is kosher, and how dare I insinuate otherwise!
Back to top

MaBelleVie








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 8:57 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
I sympathize with all of you! The worst for me is dealing with certain grandparents, who JUST DON'T GET IT! Yes, your grandson will break out in hives if you kiss him after eating mayo. When I politely ask you to refrain, why do you think it's an act of love to ignore me? It's not. . . it's selfishness Rolling Eyes It just shows me that I can't trust you with your grandson. So excuse me if I'm breathing down your neck, but it's for my child's health.

Another one for the books: "but this is whole wheat, not wheat! He really can't have it??" Uh, no.

I also get miffed when ppl ask me why I'm still breastfeeding if I have to limit my diet due to ds's allergies. I'm breastfeeding because I love it, because my child loves it, and because it's good for both of us! Oh wait, did I mention that it helped me stay clean for 14 months after I gave birth? Actually, that's none of your business Laughing
Back to top

bnm








Post Posted: Mon, Jan 10 2011, 10:31 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
I'm having a hard time getting my husband to understand. He wants medical proof of allergies, the dr said milk allergies don't always show up in blood-work, I'm not subjecting a 2 year old to the prick tests. for me t was enough that when she licked the milk bottle cover she broke out (second episode) The first was after being put on milk formula, she woke up covered in hives and exema. what more proof does he want?!?!?

I grew up with allergies in the family, he didn't. he thinks the more the kid eats, the less she will be allergic. I try explaining to him that reactions get worse each time... its like going in one ear and out the other....
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 9:50 am       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
@cbsmommy: That is such an accurate breakdown!

I remember reading on a blog somewhere about how the grandmother of an allergic child prepared a basket of special 'dairy'free' cookies for the child and sent them over to the house with a label listing all the ingredients she had used so that the mother of the child would know it was safe. First ingredient on the list? Butter!

And then there's all the times my mother talks about DD having potato kugel (with eggs) and so on. Or when she tells me, when we come for Shabbos, that she checked all the ingredients in the mixes she puts into her chicken soup so that DD can have some -- and then drops in 4 matzo balls (which makes my mother sound terrible -- she isn't. My mother is wonderful. But there was an adjustment period....)\

@bnm: For what it's worth, it is possible to have the reactions you're talking about and still not have an actual allergy to the food in question, but an intolerance instead. DD reacted TERRIBLY to cinnamon (she looked like a lizard for two straight weeks) but the testing came back negative. The allergist suggested the intolerance and said that the best advise to give is that if there is a reaction, stay away.

Additionally, studies have been done which show that children can improve their immune system reaction to allergens by ingesting micriscopic quantities and then building up. Additionally, recent studies have shown that for the majority of children with milk or egg allergies who consumed the allergen when it had been baked (such as inside a cake; the ratios of allergen to remaining ingredients was important) at over 350 F for 20 minutes or longer there was almost no reaction at all (meaning, more children had no reaction at all; very few children had a minor reaction NOT that all the children had reactions that were minor in relation to consuming the allergen in a more raw state). Doctors have stated that this is also a good way to build up a child's intolerance to an allergen.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm not offering medical advise or telling anyone to go feed their children the foods they are allergic to. These studies were all done under medical supervision.

So you and your husband could both be right!

Also, for what it's worth, I've subjected my daughter to skin prick tests twice already -- once at 1 yr and again at 18 months and when we go in to the allergist in two weeks for her peanut challenge, they're going to prick her again. The first time was traumatic for both of us (I had no idea of how precisely they tested for allergies in the first place). The second time I went with my husband AND a DVD player and she very happily watched Sesame Street while they pricked her. She kvetched, but didn't scream hysterically for 15 minutes after.
Back to top

bnm








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 10:03 am       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
I"m allergic to milk, my siblings are, my mother is, my cousins from both sides are. when the drs told me I should try giving her milk products anyway I went full out, she had string cheese, yogurt, milchig puddings, sliced cheese... I used to get itchy feeding her but was all excited that she was able to eat it. she hadn't gain a single pound that month which was what our intentions where. once we put her on milk formula she got a reaction. I started out with those reactions and then it turned into asthma attacks. I don't want it to happen to her. the dr had said to wait 6 months after the last reaction before trying again, its not yet 6 months.. she also said she has seen kids 'outgrow' their allergies so there is still hope even with the strong family history, however since she has reflux and is failure to thrive we should not feed her questionable food, we can't afford any setbacks in the little eating she does do.

I was told (and have experienced that myself) that the more of the allergen you eat, the worse the reaction is. B"H benadryl was invented, I couldn't use it as a kid because I was allergic to one of the ingredients....
Back to top

small bean








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 11:13 am       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
my son is 14.5 months. my kids still drop some food while they eat, and my son can't be in the room while their eating. I sweep up right away but still I can miss things. this usually doesnt happen by my house but by parties etc, where he can't have anything he's always looking to pick things up...

bh everyone in my family tries to help me out, they always have stuff in the house that he could have - but they all have little kids who drop food....

I just try not to go away much... I can't completely ban all food he is allergic to because there wont be much for anyone else to eat...

my parents are good and wont bring things with peanut butter into the house because of my dd - and I try to have all play dates and things in my house so I know everything is peanut free.
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 12:47 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
@bnm: the idea of consuming an allergen (again, under medical supervision) is that by consuming microscopic amounts (we're talking a grain of peanut powder; you wouldn't even be able to see it) you build up a tolerance; no one suggests sitting down to a whole scrambled egg for breakfast to develop a resistance.
When you do it that small, the system doesn't register it as a 'allergen' and then you can gradually build the amount up and up. With larger amounts (like a whole peanut, or a whole scrambled egg), you would definitely end up with a snowballing reaction.

I've personally found that Target Brand Liquid Zyrtec works infinitely better than Benadryl.

Refuah Shelaimah!

@small bean: I know how hard it is. I tend to keep DD home most of the time, too. It gets too difficult out of the house. I've had to insist that my mother always has paper and plastic plates and cutlery in the house because DD always ends up with a reaction when she's eating there. (I do the same in my house, but that's because I'm crazy Smile )

Does your DD have an airborne allergy to peanuts that your parents don't have peanut butter in the house?
Back to top

bnm








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 12:58 pm       Post subject: Re: re: Allergies and Aggravations
allrgymama wrote:
@bnm: the idea of consuming an allergen (again, under medical supervision) is that by consuming microscopic amounts (we're talking a grain of peanut powder; you wouldn't even be able to see it) you build up a tolerance; no one suggests sitting down to a whole scrambled egg for breakfast to develop a resistance.
When you do it that small, the system doesn't register it as a 'allergen' and then you can gradually build the amount up and up. With larger amounts (like a whole peanut, or a whole scrambled egg), you would definitely end up with a snowballing reaction.

I've personally found that Target Brand Liquid Zyrtec works infinitely better than Benadryl.

Refuah Shelaimah!

@small bean: I know how hard it is. I tend to keep DD home most of the time, too. It gets too difficult out of the house. I've had to insist that my mother always has paper and plastic plates and cutlery in the house because DD always ends up with a reaction when she's eating there. (I do the same in my house, but that's because I'm crazy Smile )

Does your DD have an airborne allergy to peanuts that your parents don't have peanut butter in the house?


I've had reactions after eating milk that was baked into dough, I'm not about to risk it with my daughter just yet. when she is a bit older and can verbalize how she feels we can start thinking about it.

Zyrtec is a newer med than Benadryl- I remember the first time I took it, yes it worked but they warned me its not supposed to be an instant thing like Benadryl.
Back to top

small bean








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 1:10 pm       Post subject:
allrgymama wrote:
@bnm: the idea of consuming an allergen (again, under medical supervision) is that by consuming microscopic amounts (we're talking a grain of peanut powder; you wouldn't even be able to see it) you build up a tolerance; no one suggests sitting down to a whole scrambled egg for breakfast to develop a resistance.
When you do it that small, the system doesn't register it as a 'allergen' and then you can gradually build the amount up and up. With larger amounts (like a whole peanut, or a whole scrambled egg), you would definitely end up with a snowballing reaction.

I've personally found that Target Brand Liquid Zyrtec works infinitely better than Benadryl.

Refuah Shelaimah!

@small bean: I know how hard it is. I tend to keep DD home most of the time, too. It gets too difficult out of the house. I've had to insist that my mother always has paper and plastic plates and cutlery in the house because DD always ends up with a reaction when she's eating there. (I do the same in my house, but that's because I'm crazy Smile )

Does your DD have an airborne allergy to peanuts that your parents don't have peanut butter in the house?
yes she does.

I find for the peanuts going to my mother or mil is fine because they just wont have anything with peanuts and my dd wont eat anything without asking if its made in the same factory as peanuts etc...

my son is much harder that I just dont go away ever. I'm thinking about being home the whole pesach as there's nothing on pesach except potatoes that he can have and I can't have to worry the whole time about what the other kids will be dropping on the floor...
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 1:26 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
@bnm: I'm sorry -- I wasn't suggesting that it was a perfect system that worked for everyone. Just pointing out the study that was shown. I wouldn't recommend trying it with your daughter at this young age -- it isn't like she's old enough to know the difference yet, right?

Oh -- I wasn't warned that it wasn't as quick-acting. Just that it was stronger and if the Benadryl wasn't working (which is wasn't, that particular time) that I should give her that instead. I never use Benadryl anymore.

@small bean: Depending on how my DD gets through her upcoming food challenges, I'm considering staying home, too. There are only 5 other eineklach besides for my DD and two of them will only be with us the first days. For first days, we should be able to keep an eye on the three younger ones and the two older ones already know that they cannot give any food to DD or eat outside of the kitchen (we were all together over Succos and got through unscathed, more or less. Just some eczema, but now vomiting, baruch Hashem).

How many other people are would you be around if you went away for Pesach? Adults should be able to understand the issue and most kids over the age of 3 or 4 will follow directions (even if they don't understand them) if you repeat, over and over and over again, that certain things will make so-and-so sick. I was with extended family second days of Succos this year (my own first cousins who are much younger than me) and they were all very careful; some even took upon themselves the job of grabbing all food away from daughter, even if it was something that I had given her! It made them feel important, to make sure she didn't 'get sick'
Back to top

small bean








Post Posted: Tue, Jan 11 2011, 1:36 pm       Post subject:
allrgymama wrote:
@bnm: I'm sorry -- I wasn't suggesting that it was a perfect system that worked for everyone. Just pointing out the study that was shown. I wouldn't recommend trying it with your daughter at this young age -- it isn't like she's old enough to know the difference yet, right?

Oh -- I wasn't warned that it wasn't as quick-acting. Just that it was stronger and if the Benadryl wasn't working (which is wasn't, that particular time) that I should give her that instead. I never use Benadryl anymore.

@small bean: Depending on how my DD gets through her upcoming food challenges, I'm considering staying home, too. There are only 5 other eineklach besides for my DD and two of them will only be with us the first days. For first days, we should be able to keep an eye on the three younger ones and the two older ones already know that they cannot give any food to DD or eat outside of the kitchen (we were all together over Succos and got through unscathed, more or less. Just some eczema, but now vomiting, baruch Hashem).

How many other people are would you be around if you went away for Pesach? Adults should be able to understand the issue and most kids over the age of 3 or 4 will follow directions (even if they don't understand them) if you repeat, over and over and over again, that certain things will make so-and-so sick. I was with extended family second days of Succos this year (my own first cousins who are much younger than me) and they were all very careful; some even took upon themselves the job of grabbing all food away from daughter, even if it was something that I had given her! It made them feel important, to make sure she didn't 'get sick'
there are about 30 grandchildren ranging from newborns to age 12. most of them under 5. I don't know who will be there, but I find that kids drop things on the floor while they eat, they forget, and it's stressfull having to watch and be careful... my mother would go out of the way to make sure my son can eat some stuff, seperate pots and utensils... but by my inlaws no one will make sure so he also won't be able to eat anything there unless I bring my own pots and stuff and cook everything myself... so my only choice is really to go to my mother - I know if I'm home I can invite ppl to eat by me so I don't have to feel completely isolated... the only problem is that I'm due right before pesach so my husband doesn't think me being home the whole pesach makess sense.

I also think once he's a bit older it will be much easier to go away... like when he's 2 and could understand.
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Fri, Jan 14 2011, 1:22 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
@small bean: I appreciate your dilemma.

DD will be turning 2 the last day of Pesach and I still don't know if she'll be old enough to appreciate 'you can't have this because you're allergic'. I suppose that's the drawback to not sending her to playgroup and making most of my meals allergy-friendly; she doesn't hear it on a regular basis.

Right now (though, as I said, things can change with her allergy testing) I am doing all of my cooking for DD at home and bringing it with me to my mother so that it's safe. Hopefully, there'll be enough room in the freezer to give DD her own shelf so that it doesn't get confused with other people's things. If necessary, I'll come back to my house during Chol Homead to cook again for second days.

Do you live near your parents and in-laws? Do you have the option of doing the same thing?
Back to top

small bean








Post Posted: Wed, Jan 19 2011, 12:18 pm       Post subject:
I do live near my parents and my mothers the type to buy seperate pots for him etc. but I'm nervous about all the kids eating and dropping things.
Back to top

allrgymama








Post Posted: Wed, Jan 19 2011, 12:57 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
The only thing I can say to that is what the rest of the world tells me: you can't let your child live in a bubble

Also, you can't necessarily make the rest of your family unhappy (by missing the chance to spend Yom Tov together with the extended family) because of something you're worried will happy but probably won't. As I'm sure you've seen with your other kids, a lot can change in a few months and he might be totally okay.

What I did for Succos was ask that every parent watch their own children at all times and I watched mine. I also had my parents there and two single siblings, so there were two adults there for every child (not possible in your situation, but still). We also didn't let any of the kids take food out of the kitchen and they HAD to wash their hands and face before they left. Was it perfect? No. But it certainly helped.

I'm personally never sure of why family should make things complicated for family -- especially in a health related way. I hope that your family is the type to do what ask if it means keeping your DS safe; you just have to actually ask them.
Back to top

bnm








Post Posted: Wed, Jan 19 2011, 1:46 pm       Post subject: re: Allergies and Aggravations
I get nervous at big gatherings, when its just one other family at the grandparents its ok. chanuka my husbands grandmother was giving everyone chocholate coins, I freaked out till I saw that they where parve.

at the same party my sil was nice and bought parve ice cream so my daughter was able to have some too and I didn't have to worry if she takes a different kid's cone by mistake.
Back to top
View previous topic :: View next topic


View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Children's Health -> Allergies
Page 1 of 3 1, 2, 3  Next

Similar Topics Replies Last Post
No new posts allergies
by amother
6 Thu, Sep 10 2009, 10:32 am View latest post
No new posts Allergies?
by Seraph
8 Tue, Jan 08 2008, 12:27 pm View latest post
No new posts Seasonal allergies
by seeker
2 Sun, May 19 2013, 1:53 pm View latest post
No new posts adult allergies?
by mommy#1
14 Mon, Apr 12 2010, 8:51 am View latest post
No new posts food allergies 1 Wed, Feb 14 2007, 1:35 pm View latest post


Quick Reply
Choose Display Order
Display posts from previous:   
User Permissions
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

 
Jump to:  


Report offensive ad

In the kitchen

[Picture of Vegetables]