Too much noise outside at bedtime

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:00 pm

pause wrote:

But even if they do, they won't give a hoot. Kids are kids. You'll ask them nicely, they might listen to you right then for that day. It will not solve the problem for the rest of the season. You gotta work on it from your end. Either be more flexible with your kids' bedtime or motivate them to get to bed when you want.

They are exhausted at that hour. I have no problem with getting them into bed. My children don't have issue listening b'h. Just the yelling keeps them from falling asleep.

oliveoil

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:01 pm

OP, you are expecting something unreasonable.

6pm is EXTREMELY early. It is practically still the afternoon. Definitely a normal time for kids to be playing and making noise outside.

The only people I know who put their kids to bed that early are a few very young families where the oldest kid is 3 or 4.

Do you have another room further back that you can put your kids to sleep in? Can you put them to sleep in your room or the living room and then move them later at night?

MagentaYenta

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:04 pm

amother wrote:

I got upset that my children's needs were completely disregarded. I heard all the solutions, and I was trying to discuss them and come up with something. If you read my op, I came up with things on my own.
My husband feels differently and I was presenting his side in order to be able to get all opinions into account. Yes, it's more convenient for the children to play out my window. That does not make it ok. Like I said, the law is actually on my side. I explained in detail my issues with the solutions presented in order to discuss it and come up with something better. I don't see why you needed to respond in such a way. I didn't attack you in any way. I felt attacked and frustrated by a response and states such. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I'm speaking to the bolded, and I think this is where the bottleneck is when it comes to constructive problem solving. See it's normal and ok for those kids to play out there. Just because it's an inconvenience to you doesn't make it not ok. Other's have pointed out that you would be getting far more empathy if the bedtime you established for your children was later. Heck some parents aren't getting home from work until 6. Some folks like to dine as a family after all the adults are home. These issues are outside your area of control. You can control your own attitude though and right now it stinks like pickled herring sitting in the sun.

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:05 pm

oliveoil wrote:

Thank you oliveoil. An idea!!!
Maybe I can put them to sleep elsewhere and move them later. My apartment is quite small, but I think I can manage that.
I hear the part about people keeping their kids up later. How do they do it though? Do they do really late naps?

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:10 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Why is it wrong to ask them to play in front of their own house?!
And if you can be a bit more respectful please? I am assuming you didn't read the entire thread, and even if you did, there are other ways of showing disapproval besides "stinks like pickles herring sitting in the sun".
What if it was your daughter sitting at home from work with your grandchild who had fever for three days from lack of sleep? Would you still respond as such?
I respect you as a poster, yet I am surprised by your responses tonight.

Barbara

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:14 pm

amother wrote:

Is it not normal to put young children to sleep at six o'clock pm?

I have never met anyone who put a child to sleep at 6 pm. Outside of this site, I have never encountered, heard about, read about, heard rumors about or believed in the existence of anyone who put a child to sleep at 6 pm. My mother was a huge proponent of early bedtimes, and she never considered 6 pm. Heavens. My husband never would have seen the baby!

But even if it were the norm -- and I don't believe it is -- it is also the norm for children to play outside, on public sidewalks, in the early evening. And you cannot expect that people are going to keep their kids indoors or tell them to speak only in whispers because there may be a sleeping baby.

You want them to move across the street? What's to say there aren't other babies there? Why is your sleeping baby more important than those sleeping babies?

If you live in a city, normal noise and normal playing and normal street sounds are part of life. You learn to live with it, or you move out of the city.

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:14 pm

pause wrote:

A white noise machine or a tape recorder should solve that, especially for tired kids.

They are too young to benefit from these options. Studies show that noise machines can have adverse affects on children. See my previous post.
Regarding a tape recorder, it may be an option, but older child is very sensitive to noises. Even in the car this child doesn't like anything playing at times. It's complicated, and I'm working on it. The child has sensory processing disorder and I am getting help, but it complicates things and make my options limited.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:20 pm

amother wrote:

No need to be surprised, or throw in a strawman argument about a sick grandchild to make your point. Your attitude needs adjusting if you are intent on keeping your children's bedtimes to 6pm for DST. Your original complaint was that you couldn't close the windows due to the heat. Rather then address that core problem, it's morphed into an imaginary sick grandchild. You are powerless to change where the the kids play. You will make no friends by being confrontational simply because you choose an unusually early bedtime.

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:20 pm

Barbara wrote:

Yes, they can play in front of their own houses where sound doesn't carry as much. If their baby is trying to sleep, I can't ask them to play in frog of their own house?! Seriously? I have to be concerned about their baby, but they can yell outside my window so as not to wake up their baby (that is, if they have a baby)
Really, I don't need whispers, just normal talk or quiet yelling. Not yelling down the block, iykwim.
I guess I'm the minority.
I will still ask.
I will go tomorrow, once kids are in pjs, and have a talk with the boys. I will explain to them my issue, and ask what they think we can do about it.
I will let you know what happens because you have all been helpful.
I have learned a lot.

One thing I still don't understand is how do you keep your toddlers up past six? Don't they get tired?

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:23 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Actually, I was explaining my situation, and trying to show you that if it were you, you may understand.
Yes, my child consistently develops fever which keeps her home from school, and me home from work for a minimum of three days, when she goes to sleep late. I am not kidding.
I can't close the windows because of heat, and because our apartment is completely airless.
Again, please stop attacking me.
Ty

Barbara

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:24 pm

amother wrote:

I'm in nyc. I just called 311, and they said that if it is disturbing quality of life, I can make a noise complaint any time of day.

There are no city ordinances that require children to stop playing outside or making ordinary sounds at 5:30. The normal sounds of children playing on a public sidewalk at 6 pm does not disturb your quality of life.

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:28 pm

Barbara wrote:

I explained my situation, and they actually said it is a valid complaint. I told them that I was just asking for information purposes.
Yes, my children's quality of life is disturbed. They can't sleep. Even if they have a crazy mother who puts them to bed at a crazy hour, they are entitled to sleep. If you really care, you can call yourself and explain my situation. See what they say.

Barbara

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:32 pm

amother wrote:

White noise machines and too much noise in general when the brain is developing have been associated with auditory processing disorders and learning disabilities. I can't source for you right now, but if you study neurological and childhood development, you will come across this mode of thought. I would rather not go there, if you know what I mean.

I would like that cite. I've studied a lot about APD and other processing deficits, and never heard that.

Barbara

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:34 pm

amother wrote:

Really? They told you that kids playing outside at 6 pm presents a valid noise complaint? We used to have a guy playing bagpipes outside later than that, and the city was fine with it. Yes. Bagpipes. Near as we can figure, his wife wouldn't let him in the house with them.

Notsobusy

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:40 pm

amother wrote:

Maybe your child keeps getting sick because they have hot heat blowing on them from one side and cold air blowing on them from the other side.

When we first got married we lived in a basement apartment right next to the neighborhood playground. Those summer Shabbos afternoons when we wanted to nap and the kids were playing were horrible for us. But we never complained, instead we moved out the next winter. It wasn't their problem that we wanted to sleep during normal daytime hours. Six is very, very early to put kids to sleep.

I would love to show you this thread in five years and see what you think then.

amother

Mon, Mar 09 2015, 11:45 pm

glutenless wrote:

You lived right next to the PLAYGROUND. That is different!