Chinuch\sholum bayis

amother

Denim

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:41 pm

everyone knows that disciplining kids is a dire and responsible task parents constantly need chizuk for. Anyone also facing the issue of DH disagreeing with methods approach or just with basic view of how to respond to disrespectful kids or misbehavior in general? I feel the fact were not on the same page about this takes a toll on our otherwise great relationship.

amother

Denim

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 2:15 pm

Interestingly, he has a very soft and warm approach to others in general. When it comes to his own children, he believes in a no-hitting/yelling policy which of corse is a fantastic way of dealing. I am the stricter parent and when I do yell occasionally he non intentionally makes me feel terribly guilty! Afterwards I feel that im a bad mom, way too strict and not loving enough.

Iymnok

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 2:28 pm

I feel that every set of parents has a stricter and softer. Tour husband is the planter type, encouraging and warm. You may also be, but see when building is needed. Some children need more structure and respond better when facing strength. You need to clearify what your views are and discuss it with him in a calm time. If there is still disagreement, sit together with a chinuch expert for a good derech that speaks to both of you.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 10:07 pm

I have the opposite problem: I am the "nicer" parent and my husband is "stricter." He yells at the kids and does not tolerate one iota of monkey business. I believe kids will be kids and look away a lot of the time if it's not something dangerous. also, I am a believer in attachment parenting, nursing my baby to sleep and then transferring her to crib, waking up when she cries, etc. she is 15 months. when he puts her to bed at night he puts her in the crib and closes the door and walks out and lets her cry herself to sleep which TEARS ME APART inside!!!!! he denies that he does it, yet when I ask him to put her to bed he does it right in front of my face and then tries to prevent me from going in! says she's just "kvetching a little" when she's screaming at the top of her lungs!

I'm sorry, OP, I wish I had some answers. it is TERRIBLE for our shalom bayis and terrible for our kids too because they see us fighting about it and how upset I am. but I just cannot allow my daughter to CIO and cannot allow my special needs 4 yr old to get punished every time there is spilled milk. I strongly believe I am their best advocate and must speak up for them until they can speak for themselves.