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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Losing recess

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amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 6:24 pm

I'm really not a fan of losing recess as a consequence for whatever behavior. I believe strongly that all kids need recess, and anyway, the ones who have the most difficulty following the rules are davka the ones that need it most.
My first grader has been having difficulty remembering to bring his homework home, and as a result, he has to complete it during recess. This is very frustrating for him. He has ADHD, so it's not exactly surprising that remembering to bring his worksheets home is a struggle. I understand that kids need to be held accountable, but I really don't like that recess gets taken away. He needs the break, like everyone else in school! I'm planning to talk to the Morah about it, but I want some other ideas of what should be done when he forgets, so I can suggest them. I'm not a teacher, I don't know what else is in the toolbox and I get why recess is an easy target. Any teachers have ideas? How do you hold your students accountable for their homework?

amother

Beige

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:16 pm

I think you should do more than ask his teacher to punish him differently. Ask her to help him out by reminding him to take home his homework and checking on him. He's six and it's less than two months into the school year. He doesn't need to be "held accountable," he needs to be taught a routine for taking home homework and assistance getting that routine down pat.

(But the punishment for forgetting to bring home his homework on Monday night shouldn't be to do it during recess on Tuesday; it should be to do it as extra homework on Tuesday night.)

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:49 pm

Thanks. Yeah, it's definitely more important for him to learn strategies for remembering his stuff than to have consequences. I just feel like it would probably be too much to ask the teacher to not have any sort of consequence, clearly it's part of running a class. But I think your suggestions are reasonable- focus on helping him remember and extra homework the following evening.

oliveoil

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 9:43 pm

This is the sign of an inexperienced or out of touch teacher.

Making a kid miss recess helps nobody.

As it is most (frum, US) schools have not nearly enough recess, and it is the kid and teachers benefit to make sure the kids get to use every minute of that to really get out and take a break.

Teachers who do not understand this are one of my pet peeves!

Ema of 5

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 9:47 pm

amother wrote:

It's funny you should bring this up now, there was just a discussion in one of the Facebook groups about homework or no homework, and one of the subthreads was about losing recess.
I vehemently disagree with taking away recess. It doesn't teach the child responsibility. The teacher should definitely be reminding him to take home his homework, maybe even putting it in his knapsack for him. Remember, we are not talking about a neurotypical child here, so she may need to make some adjustments in her expectations. Also, suggest that maybe she send you a copy of the homework as well, via email, so that you have it if he forgets it.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 9:54 pm

some first grades have reading time or other quiet time after completing class worj have him do it outside the classroom then

amother

Brunette

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:05 pm

first grade is too young to punish in my opinion. Homework is more something for the parent to do with the child. Homework punishments is more appropriate for third grade and above

yogabird

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:08 pm

amother wrote:

Part of running her class is making sure your 6 year old's homework makes it into his homework folder and into his briefcase, ADHD or no ADHD.

amother

Oak

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:48 pm

I taught first grade for many years. This is not age appropriate. Packing up to go home in a first grade classroom should be done in an organized way so that they teacher sees what's happening. If your child forgets his homework in school the teacher should be punished!

amother

Rose

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:58 pm

I agree with everyone else here. Kids with ADHD need recess even more than the average child. Exercise helps the ADHD child function. I also have a first grader with inattentive ADHD who has already forgotten homework at school. She is never punished for it. I wanted to suggest to the teacher that the entire class should do 15 jumping jacks between each subject. I think that's all my child would need to function properly in the classroom. And I'm sure it would benefit all the children. But I don't know the best way to bring it up as not to sound like I'm imposing my ideas on the teacher.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 6:15 am

This sounds like a first year teacher trying to keep control of the classroom. It's the begining of the school year and she needs guidlines Her consequence policy, Homework policy, like the other poster said this age is still not completely responsible for homework and more patient with students situation . This sounds extreme tell the principal too. Recess should be a school policy for all grades

amother

Bisque

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 7:45 am

This doesn’t sound age appropriate for a first grader. My first grader has a homework sheet and every day when I sign that his homework is complete the Rebbe puts a stamp. The ‘punishment’ for not completing his homework is simply that he doesn’t get a stamp. It’s my job to make sure that my son does his homework and one day when he didn’t want to I simply said, “Okay, how will you feel tomorrow when all your classmates get a stamp and you don’t?” That was enough for him to run get his homework sheet. They’re too young to be held accountable for this.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 5:26 pm

I have ADHD and was punished for not doing homework by taking away my recess. A kid with ADHD needs recess more than the average kid, and you can not imagine how much they suffer without it. It really messed me up, I actually became depressed at age 6.

Giving extra homework the next night is a TERRIBLE punishment for a kid with ADHD - do you know how torturous it is to do homework when you have ADHD? And giving extra just gives him more to forget or more to not be able to finish, which will eventually lead to a cycle of perpetual forgetting/not finishing and the kid will just give up on himself being able to actually do homework succesfully because he will be in an uphill battle he can't win. This happened to me too. Why bother to even try to get all my homework done if there's too much of it to do? I am better off giving up earlier since it's so torturous and I wasn't going to finish anyway.

Some strategies:
- First of all, does your son have an IEP? Who is responsible for adaptations he gets? Is there someone in the school who can help you work through this with the teacher?
- Next, the teacher and you need to work together to make sure that you know what his homework is. If that means an e-mail, a text message, a note in his book bag, or anything else. Explain to the teacher that your son's ADHD means he has not yet developed the skills needed remember to do his homework or complete his homework, therefore, while he is learning those skills, it is important that you as his parent and she as his educator help him with this responsibility by having direct passing of the homework assignments from school to home without relying on him. Tell her if she expects your son to remember his homework, surely she can be expected to remember to tell you the homework (find a nicer way to say it). Call her at home every night if need be to get the assignment.
- If he forgets his books that he needs, see if you can get him a second set of books. My IEP recommended this later in elementary school and it really was a huge game changer.
- As far as a consequence, that's harder. Teachers have very little they can take away from students, that's why recess is a popular one to take away. I don't have any bright ideas on this one, but she's the one with a teaching degree, so she must have some other ideas. If not, offer to have a consequence at home instead (this may not work, because the reason for the consequence is often as a lesson to the whole class too).
- If taking recess away continues, ask to have a meeting with the principal (with or without the teacher).

cbg

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 5:37 pm

It may not be the teacher's fault.
I taught in a school where the administration demanded that the teachers take recess away if the children didn't do their HW.
I think it would benefit the whole class if the teacher taught the routine to put HW in the HW folder and folder in the backpack right away.

yogabird

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 5:48 pm

cbg wrote:

It may not be the teacher's fault. I taught in a school where the administration demanded that the teachers take recess away if the children didn't do their HW.
I think it would benefit the whole class if the teacher taught the routine to put HW in the HW folder and folder in the backpack right away.

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 8:47 pm

Thank you, firebrick. My husband also has ADHD and said pretty much the same thing last night. I am anyway against the concept of losing recess for any child, but especially one who is not neurotypical! My son does have an IEP and the school has been great about making accommodations which is why I was surprised to hear about the recess thing. also he has a para with him in the afternoon (which is when he starts to struggle). I spoke to the para and she's going to help make sure he packs his stuff before she leaves. She also told me my son often completes his classwork 10-15 minutes before the rest of the class (he's very academically advanced) so she will request that if he forgets his homework, he completes it during that time rather than losing recess.

notshanarishona

Thu, Oct 26 2017, 10:48 pm

I think you should ask the teacher to make sure it goes in his backpack. after that, it's your responsibility to make sure he gets it done.

As a teacher, I find taking away recess extremely ineffective.
I prefer to reward the students who do it than taking away from the students who dont do it.

Ruchel

Fri, Oct 27 2017, 5:22 am

oliveoil wrote:

This is the sign of an inexperienced or out of touch teacher.

Making a kid miss recess helps nobody.

Yet it happened much more often in our times, andas a whole we weren't as sent to therapy or difficult.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Oct 27 2017, 9:06 am

Ruchel wrote:

Yet it happened much more often in our times, andas a whole we weren't as sent to therapy or difficult.

Ruchel, I find your post quite invalidating, and it really hurt. I posted above that losing recess did send me therapy because I became depressed at age 6 from all the difficulties I faced in school.

If you're talking about missing recess once in a while, then you're right, that probably won't send anyone to therapy or make them difficult. But imagine you have ADHD - that just sitting in your chair is torture, trying to listen to the teacher talk is torture. And then you go home and doing homework is torture. And on top of that, you lose your recess. And then you lost it again. And again. And again. There is no time during the day that you can move or not pay attention - at school you have to not move and to pay attention in class, during recess you can't move, and then at home you can't move or space out because you have homework. And 4 days that week, you were made to stand or sit on the side of playground (sitting still = torture), alone, and forced to watch every other child play and have fun and be together with each other. This repeats a few times every week, no matter how hard you try to do your homework because you lack the skills to remember it or complete it (the same as a child who is blind lacks the ability to read until they are taught alternative skills for braille). So you lose recess on top of already feeling bad that you can't just remember it, can't just get it done. For that ADHD kid, it can send them to therapy. And there are many of these kids. Teachers aren't always taught the skills to handle an ADHD child either, but that is something they can learn to do, just as the ADHD child is taught how to remember his homework and complete a set of instructions.

Furthermore, there are many things that people used to do in education, that doesn't mean they are ok or they don't mess people up. Like teachers who used hit children pretty much across the board in schools. But if OP came on and said her son was being hit with a wooden paddle, no one would say that it would be ok for the teacher to just hit him every time he forgets his homework, just because teachers used to do that and not everyone went to therapy.

Ruchel, I'm sure you weren't trying to make anyone feel bad and were just trying to say that losing recess isn't such a big deal and the OP shouldn't worry about it. But for some people, it is a big deal and I wanted to explain that assuming it isn't a big deal for everyone might be very hurtful to people who are experiencing these issues.

Chayalle

Fri, Oct 27 2017, 9:27 am

Ruchel wrote:

Yet it happened much more often in our times, and as a whole we weren't as sent to therapy or difficult.

No offense but that sounds like a comment I hear all the time from people in the older generation. In our day and age, we were all perfect, and everyone behaved, no one needed therapy, and no one went OTD. This generation is just so spoiled, and has so many problems, they should learn from us how we were then and then everything would be fine, instead of wasting their time at therapists, etc.....

My parenting mentor, Mrs. Leah Trenk of Lakewood, has alot to say on this topic. Human nature has always been human nature, and this generation is not all that different in this respect than previous generations. They may have bottled up certain feelings, etc...leading to alot of the challenges and traumas that people today report and go to therapy for. And alot of the issues being dealt with those days, they have simply forgotten about.

Sorry for going off on a rant, but this is one of my pet peeves.

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