I get overwhelmed and ghost my clients

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:08 pm

And I feel terrible doing it, it's just one of my coping mechanisms. Anyone else this way?

amother

Jasmine

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:12 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

Oh yeah
It's ADHD
Inattentive

Or a response to chronic trauma

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:18 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

Or a response to chronic trauma

You think?
I definitely have undiagnosed inattentive adhd, but I wouldn't think this is trauma related. But maybe it is.

notshanarishona

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:22 pm

That’s something really important to work on if you want your business to succeed. I would never go back to any business that ghosted me mid process. I would try to get therapy or not take on so much business until you can handle it

amother

Jasmine

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

You think?
I definitely have undiagnosed inattentive adhd, but I wouldn't think this is trauma related. But maybe it is.

It’s not always trauma related!! But let’s say if someone is in an abusive marriage it will absolutely affect their work in some way. Either they’ll completely throw themselves into it as a coping mechanism, or they’ll be in flight/freeze mode.

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:24 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Funny thing is I'm considered one of the top in my field, and clients love dealing with me. It's more like I ghost a select few that are difficult working with, since those are really the ones that overhwelm me.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:25 pm

Never ghost anybody , just tell them you won’t be able to work with them at this time .

notshanarishona

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Better to tell someone you can’t work with them then just ignore. Ghosting is very unprofessional.

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:28 pm

I know it's unprofessional, I just can't help it sometimes! It's insane, that's why I wanted to know if I'm the only one doing this

amother

Stone

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:35 pm

You're not the only one. It causes me a lot of shame. I hate it.

For a while DH would take over for me and interact with clients (write emails for me etc.) when it was too much for me. If you can find someone to do that it really helps.

Rubber Ducky

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:39 pm

That's really bad midos and can damage your reputation. Instead of ghosting people, come up with a script you can text or email that gets you out of the relationship gracefully.

amother

Cantaloupe

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:39 pm

Cough,cough. This is why people hire secretaries, administrative assistants, customer service agents or whatever flavor they're calling it this week.

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:45 pm

Now I'm feeling even worse about it than I did before. I need to actively start working on this

WhatFor

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know it's unprofessional, I just can't help it sometimes! It's insane, that's why I wanted to know if I'm the only one doing this

What do you mean that you can't help it? In that you mean to respond but you're juggling too much and forget? I agree with the person who suggested drafting template responses.

amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:54 pm

WhatFor wrote:

What do you mean that you can't help it? In that you mean to respond but you're juggling too much and forget? I agree with the person who suggested drafting template responses.

Yes exactly. Im too overwhelmed when they're messaging me, and can't answer right then and there. Then a few hours later I forget and don't answer till they follow up, which is embarrassing.

amother

Bluebell

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:54 pm

WhatFor wrote:

What do you mean that you can't help it? In that you mean to respond but you're juggling too much and forget? I agree with the person who suggested drafting template responses.

Overwelming and anxiety inducing to figure out what to write and to actually sit down and email them.

amother

Gladiolus

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:55 pm

Omg I've done this kind of. Ghosted my employer in a work from home job because I couldn't deal with it anymore. Glad to hear I'm not the only insane one...

amother

Stone

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:55 pm

WhatFor wrote:

What do you mean that you can't help it? In that you mean to respond but you're juggling too much and forget? I agree with the person who suggested drafting template responses.

If OP is like me, the anxiety ramps up and becomes completely paralyzing.

Having someone else to take over at that point usually gives me a chance to calm down and take over again afterwards. It's just the communications at the moment that are impossible, but that passes for me if I know that the client is not waiting impatiently.

amother

Bone

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 8:08 pm

Have a response like- "I will get back to you when I can", or "at my next break" "or I am away from the office and will look at this within the next day or two" "or I am not able to give this my full attention right now because I have meetings but will look at this by ? "

Or ask your husband or soemone you hire to do that Theo do thing for you.

I used to occasionally do that- and often didn't return calls but I felt very embarrassed. Now I have an assistant who does those things and if she isn't around I use a phrase like that, just so I'm not ghosting.