I'm horrified- no carseat. Wwyd?

amother

Yarrow

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 11:13 am

amother Currant wrote:

Ok but the post about passive aggressive was to me. So it's irrelevant who you are responding to on the top of the page.
There's no reason to call me passive aggressive.

I’m the one who self claimed to be passive aggressive.
I think my responses (end of page one ) is not actually passive aggressive, but appropriate, but I know here, any time you criticize with a smile it is considered passive aggressive.

I stand by my statement.

amother

Chicory

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 11:15 am

amother Currant wrote:

Don't know who you refer to as she. You responded to my post by saying no need to be passive aggressive. That's all.

So it wasn't meant for you. But there are posters here saying that this mother must be lazy or that the appropriate response it to be passive-aggressive. Sorry, this is wrong. I didn't mean that you felt this way.

amother

Currant

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 11:25 am

amother Chicory wrote:

Thank you for clarifying that amother chicory!

amother

Milk

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 11:31 am

I would say something if I could

I see it a lot in lakewood for toddlers in cars driving by, but obviously not much I can do and I let it go. A baby under one I might be more hesitant to let it slide though..

I actually saw something really disturbing last week, a mother driving with a newborn in a baby carrier on her chest. I got her car info and reported it to someone who would be able to handle the situation delicately without CPS being called.

amother

Plum

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:07 pm

amother Milk wrote:

You actually did a terrible thing.
If you felt like you had to report it, you should have asked a Rav how to go about that.
I'm more horrified about what you did, then a toddler not being in a car seat for a 3 minute drive....

amother

Yarrow

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:10 pm

I have never seen this in my community (I don’t live in Lakewood)

Is there some kind of shuir or parenting class or something where this can be publicly educated. This seems a lot more important to me than a lace shaital.

amother

Yarrow

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:11 pm

amother Plum wrote:

You actually did a terrible thing.
If you felt like you had to report it, you should have asked a Rav how to go about that.
I'm more horrified about what you did, than a toddler not being in a car seat for a 3 minute drive....

And your comment is frightening to me. The driver needs to be educated and the fact that you seem OK with a 3 minute drive is a problem.

amother

Plum

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:14 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

And your comment is frightening to me. The driver needs to be educated and the fact that you seem OK with a 3 minute drive is a problem.

I did not say that I'm ok with it.
I'm just more not ok with a frum person taking down someone's license information & thinking that it's their duty to report them, without asking a Rav first.

amother

Milk

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:21 pm

amother Plum wrote:

I have no idea how long her drive was, and I wasnt talking about a toddler buckled in the backseat. Im talking about a NEWBORN baby, in the driver seat. There are literally so many outcomes where that baby could die instantly, like anything that causes the airbag to come out.

I said I did not want CPS called on her though, otherwise I just would have called the cops, and I gave the information to someone who would take care of the situation (as in- EDUCATE HER and warn her), without it becoming an issue for her family.

Why do you assume I didnt speak to a rav or someone who could assist me in that situation to make the best decision while still giving this person a wake up call they need?

My only resposibility in that moment was to the helpless newborn who's life was in danger from a reckless mother. I still did everything I could to handle it in a way where she and her family would not have to suffer from that decision.

So no, I dont regret it and know that I did the right thing.

seeker

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:25 pm

Idk neither is safe but for a local 3 minute drive the baby in the chest carrier seems a bit more secure than the one with zero restraint. G-d forbid an accident would be bad for either but the newborn is probably better off for the average 3 min.

amother

Plum

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:28 pm

amother Milk wrote:

Did you ask a Rav about reporting it or not?
You didn't say that you did.
The thought of taking down a random person's information without them knowing, just rubs me the wrong way.

amother

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:29 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

How would you know the baby wasn't belted in? Unless you were peering over their shoulder you'd really have no idea.

I'm not saying this is the right things to do, but you can't make assumptions. Especially in a one off case.

I was standing near the car waiting for someone so I actually watched

amother

Moccasin

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:33 pm

I wouldn't say anything. Because I'd assume she knows and is making a choice that it's not important, and you're not going to change her.

If it looks like a matter of ignorance, like putting a baby in a car seat with a coat, or loose straps, etc... then I'd say something.

amother

Whitesmoke

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 12:43 pm

How is holding a baby better than not being belted in? In an accident, the laws of physics dictate that the baby's weight will be the equivalent of something like 400lb, which is humanly impossible to hold. It doesn't actually provide any safety in the event of an accident ch"v.

A carrier also. Most stitches are not strong enough to hold a baby. Maybe if someone invented one using seatbelt straps it would be a step up, but average baby carriers just provide an illusion of safety.

https://thecarseatlady.com/tra.....axis/

seeker

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

In an accident they're both terrible. But even without an accident, a 1 year old rolling around the back of a car with no adult and no restraint is not at all safe.

To be clear, I think both are a terrible move. Nobody knows when an accident will happen. But if you're going to play those odds anyway (not smart! Do not do!)...

amother

Milk

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 1:12 pm

amother Plum wrote:

Did you ask a Rav about reporting it or not?
You didn't say that you did.
The thought of taking down a random person's information without them knowing, just rubs me the wrong way.

I did actually, as well as a few others who could help me choose the best route to take. Im not sure why I needed to mention it. I mentioned what happened, I mentioned how I handled it in the end and I specified I did it in a way to not get her in trouble.

The thought of a newborn dying or being severly injured because they were not in a car seat, or at the very least in a safe spot in the car, rubs me the wrong way.

I would not have called anyone if the mother was doing the same thing, just in the backseat.

And for the record, the mother was not wearing a seat belt, and she was going to be doing highway driving. Its extremely unlikely her drive was only 3 minutes, but even if it was I would not have done anything differently. All it takes is one second for something horrible to happen.

My goal was not to get her in trouble, but rather to give her a wake up call that she cannot do that again, no matter what. I dont know if she will or not, but at least I did my part to try to stop it.

amother

Chicory

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 1:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I was standing near the car waiting for someone so I actually watched

In your OP you wrote:

"no car seat (baby about a year) and probably not strapped"

Something is fishy here.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 1:14 pm

Op are you sure you had full view of what transpired? Unless you know 100% I would for sure keep quiet. We moms deal with enough judgement we don't need more. Last thing I need is my neighbor policing my parenting.

I'm very pro car seat education etc so I'm not condoning but I've been a parent long enough to be humbled by life & its unexpected twists & turns.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Jan 05 2024, 1:15 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

In your OP you wrote:

"no car seat (baby about a year) and probably not strapped"

Something is fishy here.

One thing comes to mind is at one point some cars were sold with a built in car seat aka the seat pulled down like a cup holder thing with baby sized seatbelt.