Reasonable to ask for quiet

amother

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 10:24 pm

As a basement tenant (typical lakewood home with basement apartment) is it so crazy to expect quiet from a certain hour at night until a certain hour in morning??
Like 10-7 there should be no major noise
Minimal walking around, talking quietly- okay
Playing musical instrument- not okay
Talking loudly on phone- not okay
Running on tredmill- not okay
Throwing a party- okay if you warn us, like chanukah or sheva brachos

We sleep with noise machines but it doesn't drown out instruments playing above our room, pacing and talking loudly on phones, group of teenagers partying and dancing...

Anyone blessed to live in a house should stop and thank Hashem. It's extremely annoying being forced to listen to whatever the upstairs people are blasting, hearing their phone ring, their toddler tantrums, their teen practicing musical instrument etc etc etc

amf

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 10:28 pm

I vividly remember the 1 and 2 am piano concerts we were zoche to...
Is the family above you reasonable? Can you talk to them and work something out?

Pacing/walking it could be they just don't realize how loud it is
Music shouldn't be loud

amother

Pewter

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 10:32 pm

We lived in a basement & there was noise round the clock. Bike riding, ball playing, roller skates, pogo stick, music, dragging chairs... at all hours of the night. They had teens that were up all night. It was torture. When we tried to bring it up with them, the mom said that she can't control what her teens do & that their Rav said that they can live their life in their house....
Bh we since moved to a private house.

amother

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 10:36 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Wow that's very wrong of them
The second you have tenants living below you (paying your mortgage too) you have to be mindful of them. Or don't rent out your basement!!

Baruch Hashem the family above us is very apologetic when I complain, I'm extremely grateful for that! I don't take it for granted

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 10:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can try although the minimum walking and talking wont fly. Treadmill and musical instruments you can try. You can tell them you can hear all their conversations so that might make them work on lowering the volume and absolutely tell you in advance of a party.
If you have a baby thats a great excuse for asking for consideration.
I would also add that if asked, you are mechuyav to tell potential future renters that letoeles, the house is noisy and you hear everything all hours of the night. Some pple wont care, some will...

amother

Blueberry

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:01 pm

As a landlord who bh lives in a house, I am surprised by my tenants' requests. We have a small family, so there's minimal noise. No one is downstairs past 10 pm besides dh and myself. No music, I don't vacuum at night, I'm careful with chairs and only walk without shoes. And still they keep complaining. They literally told us that our walking (!) Around the house bothers them. And we installed a soundboard so I can't imagine how bad it would be but still, we shouldn't walk??? And in our own house? It's absurd.

amother

Purple

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:06 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

if its as youre explaining it, clearly you can see your tenants are a bit off. what OP is describing is totally different... ball bouncing, loud music, running on treadmill is super loud...

mitzva

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

I suggest you mention the music
And hint about other noise..
I wouldnt mention chanuka or sheva brachos.
I hope things get better while staying friendly neighbirs..

amother

Pewter

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:15 pm

tichellady wrote:

If they have young children or babies they can’t exactly make them be quiet until 7 am but I agree no piano or jumping late at night or early morning

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

amother

Natural

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:26 pm

Can't wait to talk to you in a few short years when you are the one living upstairs with an older family. Very hard to control what teens do. Boys only come home at 10:00 and are beginning their night then. Regular daily noises can sound like an earthquake but is just regular living. (Yes, we lived in a basement for 5 years. No, we do not have anyone living in our basement at this point.)

My sister's tenants once complained about a crazy thumping noise that they hear every morning. My sister tried hard to figure out what was going on and realized that her baby was thumping his foot while sitting in his highchair. To the downstairs tenant it sounded like the world was caving in. But this is normal living. She can't and should not have to control that...

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:33 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

I disagree. A kid wakes up at 6 am and you should sit in their bedroom with them for an hour?
When my kids wake up, we go downstairs and have breakfast (or a bottle , depending on the kid). We can’t just sit in their bedroom.

FTR I have no tenants but when I did have basement neighbors we were always conscientious but we have to live our life.

Also many people are out the door by 7 am. For us it’s around 8 am. We couldn’t get ready in time if we all had to sit upstairs til 7.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 11:35 pm

There was once a letter in the voice from a basement tenant requesting landlords be more sensitive. On the surface, a reasonable request. But some of the specifics she gave - like no playing downstairs on Shabbos before 9 am or between 1 and 3 pm something like that- were just unrealistic. Part of living in a basement unfortunately is dealing with noise. Like PP said, little noises are really amplified down there. A baby thumping his foot is not really something an adult can control.

tichellady

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:38 am

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

Well I disagree. If my kids wake up at 5 am I’m not staying in a bedroom for two hours. And yes some people have kids who are very early risers. Some people leave their house early in the morning for work. Not everyone can start their morning at 7 am

notshanarishona

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:47 am

It’s reasonable to ask to avoid loud noises such as running on treadmill, doing laundry, playing music loudly during those times.
It’s not reasonable to ask that kids stay in their bedrooms or don’t walk around or shmoze.
If the landlord is menshlach she will at least try to get her kids to be quieter although she isn’t obligated to.

notshanarishona

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:50 am

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

That would be next to impossible and extremely stressful for me. My toddler is an early riser (sometimes as early as 5:30), he wakes up starving and with a lot of energy. We have tried calming activities such as listening to a cd or reading a book to keep him in his room but it hasn’t worked. If we made him stay in his bedroom we would have hours of tantrumming (for probably weeks till he would get used to it).
You can’t tell someone a part of their house is off limit’s certain hours. You can ask them to try.

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:26 am

After reading your responses I'm super grateful for the family above us! I should send them a present and thank you card!
They do not make any noise until 7
Even then, it's minimal noise of a family eating breakfast and leaving the house...nothing crazy

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:38 am

amother OP wrote:

This is such a ridiculous attitude. You aren't paying their mortgage. You are paying for a place for yourself to live. How they spend the money should be of no concern to you.

the world's best mom

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:40 am

Oh my. I have downstairs neighbors and I always wondered how much they hear from my apartment. But as others said, I cannot stay locked in a bedroom with my kids until the neighbors are ready to wake up. I know they sleep from 10-8 so we try to be quieter, but my kids don't come with an off button. My baby often wakes up at 6, and I put her on the floor to play. She puts toys on the floor or maybe bangs them softly, but I can't not let her play for the first 2 hours of the day. And my other kids leave by 8, so they have to be up and getting ready.