Help me figure out supper!

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 4:52 pm

Supper in my house is ridiculous, I don't even know what to do anymore. I am an excellent cook and my kids (ages 3-12) hardly like any real foods. If I make a normal supper they complain, if I make no real supper, they complain. I dread making supper because no one is ever happy and half the time it's just a waste. All they want to eat is pasta and cheese in 6 different versions.
This is all probably my fault because I was never able to make my kids eat what I served. I have at least one extremely picky child. For a while I made supper and then said if you don't want it, make something for yourself or have cereal and milk. Problem is they rather have the cereal and milk or grilled cheese.
I'm just so burnt out from all this.
Did I mention that I'm an excellent cook?

rmbg

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:01 pm

amother Mistyrose wrote:

It's normal children's behavior.
Maybe just make them pasta and cheese for the time being. You'll see, they'll outgrow this stage too.

Agree. What’s the big deal if that’s what they want to eat?

amother

Sage

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:02 pm

Make just enough for 4 ppl. DH and yourself and extras to entice the kids. And then make for them a big pot of parve pasta.
They can put cheese on it and melt if they want or have grilled cheese or cereal and milk

This is what my DD does with her kids
She only makes a proper dinner for her husband and herself.

amother

Firethorn

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:04 pm

We rotate
Pastas and sauce and cheese or just sauce
Spaghetti and meatballs
Grilled cheese
Omelets with cheese
Mini pizzas they help with
Meal mart chicken nuggets
Frozen pizza
Oatmeal or waffles
Rice and lentils
Schnitzel and rice
Meat pizzas
Rice Puddings or something healthier for dessert

I’m sometimes surprised how often they’d rather breakfast foods maybe the main meal should be lunch here too😆

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:09 pm

I've been letting the grill cheese or cereal for years, their tastes have not changed or matured.
I have made menus with them and included them in the cooking, they still don't eat normal suppers and still always complain.
Each of them it's maybe one part of other suppers but their tastes don't overlap.

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:10 pm

rmbg wrote:

Agree. What’s the big deal if that’s what they want to eat?

It's not very healthy nutrition wise and for how many years???
Also then I'm making 2 suppers.

mammamia0527

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:26 pm

I also have kids in this age group and eventually after years of a wide variety of meals I have a rotation of meals at least one kid plus the baby eats, and that's a win for me. My four year old is underweight and so picky I give her anything she agrees to eat; she won't even eat fast food/takeout kind of food. Not making two dinners doesn't help the pickiness. My oldest kid always ate everything, my second one had chewing issues as a toddler but ate most things otherwise, but the third one never ate much at any age no matter what I do, so I think it's just the kids.

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:27 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

Have they tried your real food? Have their tastes not changed because they haven’t expanded their palettes?

Yes over the years. Often they aren't willing to because they don't want to become fleishig and then what will the eat if they dont like it.

amother

Offwhite

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes over the years. Often they aren't willing to because they don't want to become fleishig and then what will the eat if they dont like it.

Honestly I don’t think you’re doing them any favor making 2 dinners. I also think they’re manipulating you to some extent and That there are a lot of bad habits here and you should definitely make some changes. Start with one night. Make one dinner where you know that each kid has at least one thing to eat (example: schnitzel, rice, broccoli) and that’s it. No backup plan. If they don’t eat there’s breakfast in the morning. It’s not abuse. It’s not neglect. As you said you’re a good cook. But they’re making poor choices and you’re letting them. Start this week with making a change

amother

Stoneblue

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:58 pm

If you are ready to follow through, you can let them know from now on there is a new rule. They need to eat a small portion of 2 out of 3 components of supper that you make. For example, Could be a spoonful of roasted veg but not just one tiny broccoli piece. Let them know about 15 minutes before you put away the supper the kitchen is officially closing for the night. Afterwards the only thing available will be x (maybe fruit, veg, cracker, drinks) whatever you choose. You can reevaluate after a week and see how it goes. I'm not a professional so I don't know how psychologically sound this advice is but I would try it with my kids if I had to. I know that when my daughter looks at supper and says uch, I don't want, I dont like that, I tell her to choose 2 things just to taste and usually it gets her taste buds going and she ends up enjoying and asking for more. Good luck op I know this must be especially hard since you are a good cook and probably really want to share your enjoyment with your kids

amother

DarkGreen

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 6:21 pm

Pasta and cheese and cereal and milk are literally addictive for some kids. Gluten and dairy partially digested proteins attach to opiate receptors in the brain. Kids will restrict themselves to those foods as long as they're available because it gives them a subtle neurochemical high and makes real food, ie proteins, vegetables, etc, seem completely uninteresting or even nauseating.

Reminds me of the scene in the documentary the magic pill of the kid who only ate chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers. Spoiler alert: after 3 days of starving she caved and started eating other foods including vegetables and meat. Not saying to starve your kids for 3 days but it's food for thought.

amother

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 6:53 pm

I don't make 2 suppers. I make one and if you don't like it then you figure something else out.
I have 2 kids who have ASD, they have sensory issues and are really picky. After enough meltdowns, I stopped pushing having to eat from what I made, because I couldn't handle the drama. But then the other kids also only want to eat what they like.
I did this to myself but I don't know how to undo it.