When did you pierce your daughters ears?

chanchy123

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 2:48 am

Too bad you didn't put other. My mother and grandmother had their ears pierced as adults (my mother's mother never did pierce her ears).
We were allowed to pierce our ears when we became bat mizva. There is no way I will allow any daughter of mine to have her ears pierced before that, maybe later.

chanchy123

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 2:51 am

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

Yeah - come to think of it, vaccines are probably a lot more painful! Also, we got the ones that are one peice and close in the back with a hook. Kind of like huggies, but even stronger than that. You need to first pull the hook up and then off, way too hard for a 2 (and even three year old and older) year old to figure out.

Vaccines are given for the child's health not so their mommies can think they are beautiful. But I guess I am overwhelmingly outnumbered here, so I'll stay out of this discussion for now.

freidasima

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 3:27 am

We taught our daughters as we were taught, that it is assur to mutilate the body for any non-halachic reason (bris mila) and although Yiddishe women do it these days, it is truly minhag hagoyyim. Just the thought of it horrifies us. Lucky none of the girls did it when they were older and I hope that they treat the grandchildren the same way.

Debbie

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 5:16 am

octopus wrote:

I got my ears pierced when I was 17. In line ahead of me was a little infant. The ear-piercing lady kept on saying "oh! the baby will never remember! it doesn't even hurt!" well. that baby did NOT stop crying.when it was my turn, the lady DID hurt me. And I remember thinking "I don't think I can pierce my girls' ears until they are old enough to understand."

I agree Octopus and I don't really understand what the point is in piercing the ears of a baby.It can't be for the baby's benefit because she isn't going to care less if she has pretty earrings or not and I sincerely hope that no body thinks a baby girl is less cute with unpierced ears.
My dh and I chose to wait until our girls could understand what pierced ears are and that having it done would hurt a bit. They were 6 at the time.

Debbie

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 5:18 am

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

mamacita wrote:

I had dd's ears pierced when she was 3mos old. She cried for a bit, less than when she had her vaccines. She didn't even know she had ears until they were completely healed. Then she figured out how to take them out, hehe. but by then b"H she was old enough to know not to put them in her mouth (over 1.5) and we've found screw on backs that keep em in.

Yeah - come to think of it, vaccines are prob ably a lot more painful! Also, we got the ones that are one peice and close in the back with a hook. Kind of like huggies, but even stronger than that. You need to first pull the hook up and then off, way too hard for a 2 (and even three year old and older) year old to figure out.

No body can compare vaccination that is done for the protection of a childs health to ear piercing which is done for making the ears look pretty.

shosh

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 5:35 am

I've always had a personal revulsion to piercing ears. I don't know why, but I think it's to do with the number of girls at school who got them done when we were about 13 and would have the most disgusting allergic reactions and infections afterwards. As I have a very sensitive skin and am prone to allergies, I never wanted to start with it.

I never pierced any of my dds' ears until my oldest wanted it for bas mitzvah. For various reasons, I got her to wait till her thirteenth birthday. We got it done, and she was ok with it. The funny thing was that after all her nagging, she really couldn't be bothered with putting in earrings and cleaning the holes, etc, and a few months later they closed up! And since then, she's never asked to open them again or anything.

My ten yr old asked me about it recently, and all I said was "Let's see how you feel when you're bas mitzvah!" And she agreed, and that was that!

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 7:29 am

chanchy123 wrote:

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

Vaccines are given for the child's health not so their mommies can think they are beautiful. But I guess I am overwhelmingly outnumbered here, so I'll stay out of this discussion for now.

I agree with you.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 7:30 am

freidasima wrote:

That's pretty much how my parents and husband feel. I'm less "anti", but still not "for" especially since it's becoming rather rare so less peer pressure and stuff.
When dd is 18 she'll do what she wants lol

shalhevet

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 7:34 am

freidasima wrote:

That's what dh says too. He says they can only do it when they're married (have to ask him for the reason), but now I think about it that would be a problem regarding chatziza while waiting at the beginning. My dds' pleas don't help here.

Seraph

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 7:43 am

shalhevet- then they can do it while preg, so iy'h they wont be visiting the mik often....

I plan on piercing girls future girls' ears young. bec in my experience, by the time the kid is old enough to ask and want them, they are also more likely to put up a fight about cleaning and they can get infected.

freidasima, earings have always been a jewish thing, they wore them in the torah........

ora_43

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 7:44 am

merelyme I was also wondering that.

I don't know of any rabbi who says it's assur to pierce, since there is a reason, even if it's not medical.

But I wouldn't do it. It's extra money and work, just for a piece of jewelry... my kids are babies, what do they need jewelry for? Even I only wear jewelry on fancy occasions, so what does a 2-year-old need with anything beyond a plastic necklace for dress up?

And you can always poke holes in your ears later in life... but if I decide to do it for them now, they'll always have those holes whether they like it or not.

If they start begging me, I'll let them do it when they're bat mitzva.

freidasima

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 8:23 am

The difference was that at the time of the torah, unfortunately, we were being influenced by our Egyptian and Mesopotamian surroundings, hence the piercings. Nezem by the way, is in the NOSE, not the ear..and if you are going to pierce the ear, why not the nose? The pupik? You see where this leads to.

Then came the halocho that an eved ivri who didn't want to go free had to have his ear pierced as an ourward sign of slavery. Meaning only slaves had pierced ears in Jewish tradition after matan torah.

Hence women who pierced their ears, just like men, were actually showing a sign of slavery.
It's the same as ankle bracelets BTW which dh ossurs as being a sign of slavery.
But this is also hashchatas haguf which is different.

It's not "ossur" because "ein gozrin gezeiro al hatzibur shehatzibut eino yochol la'amod boh", but in this house we feel it is...not done.

That is NOT to criticize those who feel otherwise as it is not a halocho meforosh. But if you raise your kids that way, sometimes they might feel that way evey when they reach 18 Ruchel...

tziviakayla

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 10:25 am

I think it is my daughters' decisions whether or not they have their ears pierced To me it is a big decision! If I were to do them when they are babies, toddlers, or even as elementary school age, what if they decided when they were older that they wished they didn't have them? I believe it is their choice. So, I've decided that as something very special before they start dating they can get their ears pieced. My oldest is in 5th grade now. I talk about this decision with my girls, especially when they tell me which girls in school have their ears pierced for birthdays. I just tell them it will be so special when they are about to become a kallah, and we'll buy them really pretty earrings them. My daughters don't want them right now. I have asked them if I should have had it done when they were little, and they have all said no!

sky

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 11:48 am

shalhevet wrote:

Why? I got my ears pierced (they had closed up) and then just took out the earings when I had to go in and put them back in after. There was no problem at all.

ss321

Mon, Mar 30 2009, 11:59 am

Although I have lots of friends and close relatives who piereced their babies ears when they were really young (as in: 3 or 4 wks old!), the whole idea really scares me! (take this with a grain of salt though - I dont have daughters)
there was a thread a little while back discussing "baby perfume" and what people think of the idea. I would venture to say that those who were ok with - or in favor of - "baby perfume" would be ok with infants having their ears pierced? I personally dont get it- is a 2month old with pierced ears cuter than one without? I certainly dont think so! and to put an infant through this for no good reason (the comparison to vaccination is just beyond insane....one is for medical need, the other is for the mommy to feel her bebbeleh is zees and yummy ???)? Why not just wait until they are a little older and can understand what is going on?

Friedasima I see your point...but I have pierced ears embarrassed

and I love earrings embarrassed

...even if it is non jewish embarrassed

... but youre your philosophy on it makes sense. I think if the kid asks for it, then you can consider doing it. but to put a 5 wk old - or a 5 month old thru it, just because you think it will match their outfits - why do that to your child?